The Wheeler Dealers Page #4

---

WHICH YOU HAVE --

IT HAS TO DO WITH

TRYING TO SELL SOME STOCK.

STOCK. MONEY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT FREUD SAID

ABOUT MONEY?

IT'S REFUSE, DIRT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO TURN

A FAST MUD PIE.

NOW, GOOD NIGHT, LEONARD.

MY CLIENT'S COMING TO GET ME

PRETTY SOON.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

I'LL BE AT SONIA'S.

WELL, HOWDY, LEONARD.

EVENING, MA'AM.

BROUGHT YOU SOME FLOWERS.

OH. [ CHUCKLES ]

HOWDY, MA'AM.

THAT'S MY ROOMMATE,

ELOISE COTT.

HOLY COW.

UH, I, UH, GUESS I BETTER

PUT MY SHOES ON.

I FEEL A LITTLE SHOR IN THE SADDLE.

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY

DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

WELL, I ALWAYS FIGURED

THAT FLOWERS AND LADIES

KIND OF GO TOGETHER.

WHERE WE GONNA CHOW DOWN

TONIGHT, MA'AM?

WELL, THERE'S A LITTLE PLACE

WHERE WE USUALLY DROP IN,

SORT OF A NEIGHBORHOOD

ATMOSPHERE.

IT'S CALLED

LE COCHON TRS CHER.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WELL, IN FRENCH, IT MEANS

"THE VERY DEAR PIG,"

BUT THAT'S NO WHAT IT MEANS.

THANK YOU.

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

WE SHOULD HAVE MADE

A RESERVATION.

WE'LL NEVER GET A TABLE.

OH, SURE.

EXCUSE ME.

WE'D LIKE TO GET A TABLE

AND SOMETHING TO EAT, PLEASE.

[ French accent ] IF YOU WILL

WAIT AT THE BAR, MONSIEUR,

I WILL CALL YOU --

PERHAPS TWO, THREE HOURS.

OH, BUT I'M TOO HUNGRY

TO WAIT THAT LONG.

AH! MONSIEUR DUGLACE,

MADAME, BONSOIR!

LE NUMERAL QUATRE POUR

MSSR. DUGLACE ET DAME.

MERCI.

YES.

EXCUSE ME.

UH, CLYDE, I DON'T THINK

YOU UNDERSTOOD THE LADY.

YOU GO ALL THOSE EMPTY TABLES,

AND WE'D LIKE TO EAT THERE

RIGHT NOW.

MONSIEUR, WHEN I SAY

THREE HOURS,

I MEAN THREE HOURS.

YOU LISTEN TO ME, MERLE.

PASADO UNO PARA EL OFICIAL

DE IMIGRACIN, EH?

PARA UNO PICCOLO

DE TU QUOTA.

UN GRANDE AMIGO:

DE ELIOT NESS.

CERTAMENTE, SIGNORE.

CERTAMENTE.

IL TRADIRE DIECI

PER SIGNORE QUEEN.

AVANTI.

THANK YOU.

MONSIEUR.

WAS THAT ITALIAN?

I FIND THAT IN NEW YORK,

MOST FRENCH HEADWAITERS

ARE ITALIAN.

CAN YOU SPEAK ITALIAN?

NO, MA'AM.

NO, MA'AM.

THAT'S JUST A LITTLE

WETBACK SPANISH.

IT SOUNDS THE SAME.

OH.

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

YOU, UH, REALLY DO

LIKE THIS PLACE, HUH?

OH, YES. I COULD EAT HERE...

EVERY NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

MADAME, MONSIEUR, MAY I SUGGES A SPECIALTY OF THE HOUSE?

FILET DE SOLE MONACO.

OH, EXCUSE ME, FRIEND.

YES, SIR?

WHAT'S THAT KEY FOR?

THAT'S THE KEY

TO THE WINE CELLAR, SIR.

WELL, IF THAT'S THE KEY,

THE DOOR MUST BE 50 FEET HIGH.

MAY I SUGGEST THE SPECIALTY

OF THE HOUSE?

FILET DE SOLE MONACO.

OH, WELL,

I THINK I'LL HAVE

THE POULET FLAMB

SAINT BERNARD DU VIN.

EXCELLENT.

EXCELLENT CHOICE.

YOU, MONSIEUR?

UH...

WHAT WAS THAT YOU HAD?

OH, THAT'S CHICKEN

WITH MUSHROOMS AND ONIONS

AND MARINATED IN WINE

AND TOPPED WITH BRANDY.

UH, CHUCK-WAGON STEW

WITH A DASH OF RED-EYE, HUH?

UH, WAITER,

BRING ME A BURNT STEAK

AND A MESS OF GREENS, PLEASE.

YES. OF COURSE.

I'LL BET YOU A SHAVE

THAT OLD HENRY'S ON TO SOMETHING

REAL GOOD.

OKAY, I'LL SEE

YOUR SEE YOUR SHAVE

AND RAISE YOU:

TWO SHOESHINES.

I'LL SEE YOUR TWO SHOESHINES,

RAISE YOU A SHAVE,

AND LOAN YOU:

MY HELICOPTER.

- OH, THAT'S GOOD WINE.

- MM-HMM.

AND AREN'T YOU GLAD I MADE YOU

CHANGE YOUR ORDER TO CHICKEN?

I SURE AM.

THAT CHICKEN'S THE MOS I'VE HAD TO DRINK

IN QUITE SOME TIME.

NOW, MR. TYROON,

LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS,

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WANT TO HEAR

ABOUT WIDGETS.

I SURE DO.

HOW DID A GIRL LIKE YOU

EVER GET MIXED UP WITH WIDGETS?

YOU MEAN WHAT AM I DOING

ON WALL STREET,

AND HOW COME:

I'M NOT MARRIED?

WELL, NOW, I WASN'T GONNA GET TO

THAT FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR SO.

I'M IMPRESSED

BY YOUR DIRECTNESS.

MR. TYROON,

GETTING MARRIED:

IS NOT THE ONLY THING

A GIRL CAN DO.

AND I LIKE WALL STREET,

AND I WANT TO SEE GIRLS

ACCEPTED THERE.

WELL, YOU MEAN

THEM FELLAS DOWNTOWN

ARE GIVING YOU:

A HARD TIME?

UH-HUH, AND IF I CAN PUT WIDGE OVER, I'M ON MY WAY.

I MAY EVEN BE THE NEXT PRESIDEN OF THE WOMEN SECURITY ANALYSTS.

WELL, SINCE WE'RE DOING

ALL THIS SO SPEEDY-LIKE,

THIS LEONARD,

IS HE YOUR STEADY FELLA?

OH, NO, NO. NO.

NO. I-I SEE A LOT OF HIM.

HE'S AN ART CRITIC

AND VERY INTELLIGENT.

AND YOUR NEXT QUESTION

IS GOING TO BE:

HOW LONG:

HAVE I KNOWN HIM.

WHOO-EE.

THERE'S NO POIN IN MESSING WITH YOU.

YOU'RE AHEAD OF ME

ALL THE WAY.

I'M JUST NOT USED TO

BRIGHT GIRLS.

OH, YOU REALLY THINK

I'M BRIGHT?

MM-HMM.

OH, SO DO I,

AND NOBODY EVER TELLS ME THAT.

WHENEVER ANYBODY

WANTS TO SCORE POINTS WITH ME,

THEY TELL ME I'M PRETTY.

AND I GET SO TIRED

OF THAT WHEN --

WHEN ACTUALLY,

I-I'VE DONE S-SOME VERY...

INTELLIGENT...

THOUGHTFUL WORK.

Wilson:

HEY! HEY, GOOD BUDDY!

EVERYTHING'S

GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

OH, NOW GET OFF THE ROAD,

LITTLE PUPPY,

AND LET US BIG DOGS ROLL.

WELL, HOWDY, HENRY.

EVENING, MA'AM.

Both:
EVENING, MA'AM.

HOWDY, HENRY.

HOWDY, BOYS.

OH, UH, MISS MOLLY THATCHER,

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEE JAY RAY SPENALBEE,

RAY JAY POTTS, AND J.R. WILSON.

- HI.

- HI.

- HI.

THE BOYS ARE FROM TEXAS.

NO. HELLO.

IT'S A PLEASURE, MA'AM,

AND IF I'M NOT TOO BOLD,

I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT YOUR

HAIR'S PRETTY AS CORN SILK.

PRETTIER.

[ LAUGHS ]

SAY, NOW, HENRY,

WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE ON TO,

I'LL TAKE A FOURTH OF IT.

AND I'LL TAKE

AN EIGHTH.

I'LL SEE YOUR EIGHTH

AND I'LL RAISE YOU A FOURTH.

WELL, UH,

I'LL TELL YOU, BOYS,

I HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING

GOING JUST NOW.

THESE GENTLEMEN HAVE BEEN

ASSOCIATED WITH ME

IN A COUPLE:

OF MY VENTURES.

OH, COME ON, NOW, HENRY.

YOU CAN TELL US.

NOW, WHAT ARE WE

GETTING INTO THIS TIME?

HONEST, BOYS, I'M JUST OU FOR A NICE SOCIABLE DINNER.

IS THAT TRUE, MA'AM?

YES, THAT'S TRUE.

WHERE CAN A MAN GET A BOWL

OF CHILI IN HERE?

HOW IS THE CHOW, MA'AM?

WELL, IT'S JUST ABOU THE BEST IN THE WORLD --

WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE

TO ENJOY IT.

YOU, UH, REALLY LIKE

THIS PLACE, HUH?

UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES,

IT CAN BE HEAVEN.

WELL, PEOPLE HAVE

A DIFFERENT IDEA ABOUT HEAVEN.

WELL, LET'S SEE.

THERE'S A FEW INTERESTING PRINCIPLES.

I MEAN, IT'S GO A HIGH MARGIN.

YOU KEEP THE PEOPLE

PACKED IN THERE.

AT A DOLLAR AND A HALF A SHOT,

THEY'RE CRYING TO GET IN.

BY THE TIME THEY HAVE

FOUR OR FIVE WHISKEYS,

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WINE

TASTES LIKE ANYWAY.

OH, YEAH, THEY GOT THEM

LITTLE PULLEY CARTS.

FIRE INSURANCE.

YOU, UH, REALLY, REALLY

LIKE IT HERE?

YES.

WELL, WHEN HE'S NOT BUSY,

WOULD YOU HAVE HIM CALL ME BACK?

Bear:
Miss Thatcher?

YES, MR. BEAR?

What's new

with that widget thing

we gave you

several days ago?

WELL, I'VE BEEN TRYING

TO DO THE RESEARCH,

BUT THE COMPANY:

DOESN'T ANSWER ITS PHONE.

What about that Texan

we set you up with?

I-I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE

TO REACH HIM.

Well, don't let him get away,

Miss Thatcher.

Speed things up. We've got to

get on to other things.

[ CLICK ]

[ SIGHS ]

GIVE HER ANOTHER MONTH.

OTHERWISE,

IT WILL LOOK TOO OBVIOUS.

ONE MONTH,

AND WE TRIM THE FAT.

OUT SHE GOES.

LEONARD, I SYMPATHIZE,

BUT I CAN'T LISTEN

TO YOUR TROUBLES NOW.

I HAVE TOO MANY:

OF MY OWN.

[ TELEPHONE BUZZES ]

LISTEN, I'LL SEE YOU A THE OPENING TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

I HAVE ANOTHER CALL NOW.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes