The Wheeler Dealers Page #5

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MOLLY THATCHER.

Henry:
Oh, I'm not

disturbing you, am I?

OH, HI!

NO, NO.

YOU'RE NOT DISTURBING ME

ONE BIT.

I'VE BEEN TRYING

TO REACH YOU FOR DAYS.

I was afraid I wouldn't get

the chance to talk to you again.

WELL, I'VE BEEN WORKING

ON A LITTLE CRASH PROJECT.

I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU

TONIGHT ABOUT, UH, 7:30?

OH.

OH, I DO WAN TO TALK TO YOU.

UH, I HAVE TO GO

TO AN ART GALLERY TONIGHT,

A RECEPTION:

FOR A NEW ARTIST,

THE FIRST TIME HIS PAINTINGS

HAVE BEEN HUNG.

IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND

EATING EARLY,

maybe you'd like to come

to the gallery with me.

IT'S THE FIRST TIME

I EVER TOOK A GIRL TO A HANGING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

BYE-BYE.

EVENING, MA'AM.

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

WELL, GOOD EVENING THERE,

BONAPARTE.

WE'LL BE OUT IN A COUPLE HOURS,

FEINBERG.

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

GOOD EVENING, MR. TYROON.

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU

THIS EVENING.

WELL, THANK YOU.

COMMENDATORE, BUONASERA.

QUELL'ONORE.

COMMENDATORE, BUONASERA.

QUELL'ONORE.

SIGNORINA, BELLISSIMA.

[ SPEAKING ITALIAN ]

MOLTA CARINA, BELLISSIMA,

SIGNORINA.

WAKE UP.

ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CIGARS,

MR. TYROON.

FAVORITE CIGARS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

GRAZIE, GRAZIE.

THANK YOU, ZELDA.

THEY CERTAINLY HAVE CHANGED

THIS PLACE, HAVEN'T THEY?

AND THAT HEADWAITER --

DID HE TURN OUT TO BE YOUR

LONG-LOST FATHER OR SOMETHING?

WELL I FIGURED IF THE BAR IS MORE

PROFITABLE THAN THE DINING AREA

AND PEOPLE LIKE TO BE

SHOVED AROUND,

WELL, THEN, YOU DOUBLE THE SIZE

OF THE BAR:

AND SHOVE THEM:

A LITTLE HARDER.

GOOD EVENING, MR. TYROON.

GOOD EVENING, MADEMOISELLE.

GOOD EVENING, CLYDE.

NOW WE HAVE A 100-FOOT DOOR

ON THE WINE CELLAR.

THEN I FIGURED,

WHO WOULD LOAN ME ENOUGH MONEY

TO BUY THIS PLACE?

SIMPLE.

A FIRE-INSURANCE COMPANY.

MR. TYROON,

Y-YOU BOUGHT THIS PLACE?

CHEZ-HENRI.

"HENRI" IS THE SAME AS "HENRY,"

AND HENRY IS ME.

- MR. TYROON --

- NO, NO, NO.

YOU CAN CALL ME HENRI,

LIKE IT SAYS ON THE MENU.

YOU BOUGHT THIS PLACE.

WELL, YOU SAID YOU'D LIKE TO

EAT HERE EVERY NIGHT.

WELL, NOW YOU CAN.

SEE WHAT WE GOT TONIGHT.

NARDO! NARDO?!

WAIT FOR CHUCK!

POTTSFIELD IS SUCH

AN ANTISEPTIC PAINTER.

AT FIRST GLANCE,

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE HE USES

ONLY WHITE PAINT.

WELL, HIS PAINTINGS

ARE GERM-FREE.

BUT THEN WHEN YOU'VE SAID THAT,

YOU'VE SAID EVERYTHING.

[ LAUGHS ]

PERSONALLY,

I LIKE HORSE PAINTINGS.

HENRY, ABSTRACTS ARE ALWAYS

HARD AT FIRST.

IT'S AN ACQUIRED TASTE.

NOW, YOU HAVE TO TRY

TO UNDERSTAND,

WHAT IS THE ARTIS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE?

A FEELING,

BUT HE AIN'T MAKING IT.

BUT I CAN' THIS SATURDAY, SPIKE.

I'M GOING TO THE CAPE

TO EXPAND.

FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND?!

Man:
NARDO!

NARDO, THERE YOU ARE!

OH, HIS WORK IS GHASTLY,

BUT IT DOES HAVE

A CERTAIN OBSCENE POWER.

COMMUNICATION IS VERY DIFFICUL AT FIRST, HENRY.

MM-HMM.

WELL, I AIN'T HAVING

ANY DIFFICULTY.

HE IS.

I DON'T THINK WHAT TED IS DOING

IS AWFUL AT ALL.

AFTER ALL,

DEE DEE AND SALLY ARE TWINS.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING, HENRY.

WELL, I'M WILLING TO TRY,

BUT HE'S GOT TO TRY, TOO.

OH, EXCUSE ME, HENRY.

$500?

I THINK I GET THE MESSAGE.

NARDO!

NARDO, YOU DEAR, DEAR BOY!

I READ YOUR BRILLIAN LITTLE PIECE IN ART WORLD.

OH, SO ACRID,

SO DELICIOUSLY NASTY!

NOBODY ELSE:

COULD DO IT!

NARDO, YOU MUST COME

AND HAVE TEA WITH ME.

THERE'S THE MOST EXCITING

NEOREALIST PAINTER

I WANT YOU TO MEET.

HE'S A SLOB, DARLING,

BUT HE'S A GENIUS.

LET US IN ON IT, NARDO.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY

ABOUT THE EXHIBITION?

YES.

THIS EXHIBITION:

IS GOING TO MAKE HISTORY.

THAT'S WHAT I'LL SAY.

WHAT STANISLAS:

HAS ACHIEVED HERE

IS ESSENCE:

RATHER THAN APPEARANCE

BY USING SPACE ON LIGH INSTEAD OF LIGHT ON SPACE,

AND THAT, OF COURSE,

IS THE WHOLE MYSTIQUE

OR GEIST, IF YOU WILL,

OF THE STANISLAS METHOD.

HE'S BROUGHT MYSTICISM

TO PAINTING,

BUT HE HASN'T FALLEN

INTO THE TRAP:

OF BRINGING PAINTING

TO MYSTICISM.

OH, MY DEAR.

HE'S A GENIUS.

ONE THINKS OF BAUDELAIRE AND

THE OTHER FIN-DE-SICLE POETS,

BECAUSE, WELL,

ONE JUST DOES THINK OF

BAUDELAIRE SO OFTEN THESE DAYS.

OH.

[ SOBBING ]

OH, I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE

A SCENE.

SEEMS THIS PICTURE

BROKE THAT YOUNG FELLA UP.

OH, DON'T WORRY

ABOUT HIM.

HE'S A PAID WEEPER,

ONE OF THE BEST.

UH, YOU KNOW

THIS FELLA STANISLAS?

I AM STANISLAS.

SEEMS TO ME THAT, UH,

YOU USE SPACE ON LIGH INSTEAD OF LIGHT ON SPACE.

SIX OF ONE...

YOU'RE BRINGING MYSTICISM

TO PAINTING,

BUT YOU AIN'T BRINGING PAINTING

TO MYSTICISM.

WHAT ARE YOU,

SOME KIND OF RELIGIOUS NUT?

TELL ME, STANISLAS,

IS THIS AN ASKING PRICE,

OR IS THAT FIRM?

FIRM.

SOLD FOUR ALREADY TONIGHT.

OF COURSE,

IF YOU'RE A TEXAS COLLECTOR,

I MIGHT WORK SOMETHING OU ON A JOB LOT.

AFRAID I CAN'T AFFORD

A HOBBY LIKE COLLECTING.

OH, IT'S NOT A HOBBY.

IT'S AN INVESTMENT.

REMEMBER THAT REMBRAND THAT SOLD FOR $2 MILLION

A BIT AGO?

YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW YOU COULD HAVE BOUGH THAT ONCE FOR 20 BUCKS?

FROM WHOM?

FROM REMBRAND WHEN HE PAINTED IT.

NOW, MY STUFF

GOES FOR 500 CLAMS,

BUT IT'S GO 1,000% PROFIT POTENTIAL.

YEAH, BUT REMBRAND AND THAT BUNCH,

YOU KNOW,

THEY'RE OLD MASTERS.

THEY'VE ALL BEEN BID UP.

THIS NEW STUFF,

IT'S LIKE WILDCATTING.

IT MAY GO UP,

BUT THE ODDS ARE AGAINST IT.

IF I READ YOU RIGHT,

YOU GO FOR WILDCATS.

I ALWAYS LIKE SOMETHING

ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF A PRODUCER

WHERE NOBODY'S

BROUGHT ONE IN --

NOT TOO EXPENSIVE,

BUT THEN, NOT TOO LEFT-FIELD.

I BELIEVE I KNOW

OF JUST SUCH A FIELD.

NOW, WHEN THE COLLECTION

NEEDS A CURATOR --

A CURATOR?

A FOREMAN.

SOMEONE TO RIDE THE HERD

AND ALL THAT BEAUTY.

WELL, I ALWAYS

GIVE MY ASSOCIATES

A PIECE OF THE ACTION.

LET ME LAY THIS ON YOU.

THE COMING FIELD

IS GERMAN EXPRESSIONISTS.

[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]

Molly:
I HAVE THE AWFUL FEELING

THAT THE AX:

IS ABOUT TO FALL.

"HOW ARE THINGS GOING,

MISS THATCHER?

WE CAN'T KEEP ON GIVING

YOU CHANCES, NOW, CAN WE?"

LET THE AX FALL.

WORK UPTOWN:

AND BE A GIRL AGAIN.

HOW CAN SOMEBODY

JUST DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS?

HENRY?

WHO ELSE?

WELL, HE COULDN'T GO AROUND

IN PUBLIC FOREVER.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

ANSWER THAT, WOULD YOU?

MY HANDS ARE WET.

[ VACUUM SHUTS OFF ]

YES?

FINE, THANKS,

BUT MY HEAD'S HOT.

HOLD ON.

HELLO?

HELLO, HENRY.

OH, I'M FINE.

OH, NO.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'VE BEEN

TERRIBLY BUSY, TOO.

I-I TRIED TO REACH YOU,

BUT YOU CHECKED OUT.

HENRY, I NEVER DID GE A CHANCE

TO EXPLAIN TO YOU

ALL ABOUT WIDGET AND...

HALF AN HOUR?

WELL, I'M REALLY

AWFULLY BUSY,

BUT, UM, I GUESS I COULD MAKE I IN A HALF AN HOUR.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, I-I'VE GOT TO GET IN

SOME CLOTHES.

WOULD YOU RINSE:

THOSE THINGS OUT FOR ME?

SURE. RUN ALONG.

DOES MY HAIR LOOK

ALL RIGHT?

FOR A DOWNTOWN GIRL,

THAT'S AN UPTOWN QUESTION.

BETTER NO LOOK AT THIS ONE.

IT'S A SHATTERING EXPERIENCE.

LOOSENS YOUR TEETH.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE SOPPING UP

THE FLOKES, FLACK,

AND 'DINSKYS, ALL RIGHT.

ABOUT TO GE THE NOLDES CORNERED.

HOW WE DOING:

ON THEM GORKYS?

WELL, IF YOU CAN EXTEND

YOUR BANK CREDIT,

I CAN GRAB THE TWO GORKYS

IN THE ROTHSCHILD COLLECTION.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

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