The Wheeler Dealers Page #8

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BO BLUEDOG:

ON THE OTHER RADIO PHONE

AND HAVE HIM CALL ME

AT W-1-H-K-K?

UH...

CONNECTICUT, I'D SAY,

HEADING SOUTH.

[ TELEPHONE BUZZES ]

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU, PAT.

HENRY TYROON'S OFFICE.

YES, HE IS.

OH, JUST ONE MOMENT.

IT'S SOMEBODY

CALLED BILLY JOE.

THANK YOU.

HI, BILLY JOE.

HOW ARE YOU?

YEAH, YEAH.

BILLY JOE, I TOLD YOU

I'D HAVE THE MONEY ON SCHEDULE.

I FIGURE TO SWING A BIG PIECE

OF CHANGE ON A RESTAURANT.

YEAH, AND I ALSO GOT A PIECE OF

THE ACTION WITH SOME PAINTERS.

YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.

PAINTERS.

WELL, I HAVEN'T GO THE WHOLE $1.2 MILLION,

BUT I'M MOVING, BILLY JOE.

I'LL GET IT SOMEHOW.

YOU JUST RELAX:

AND HAVE BO CALL ME

WHEN HE GETS BACK FROM

HIS COFFEE BREAK, YOU HEAR?

THANK YOU, BILLY.

I HAD A TALK WITH

THADDEUS WHIPPLE THIS MORNING.

I WANT BO BLUEDOG TO GE HIS DRILLING CREW TOGETHER.

DON'T BE SO MYSTERIOUS, HENRY.

WE'RE PARTNERS, REMEMBER?

YOU KNOW:

THAT LITTLE WEED PATCH

- WHERE THE FACTORY BURNED DOWN?

- MM-HMM.

WELL, I MADE A DEAL WITH WIDGE FOR THE SUBSOIL RIGHTS.

THE DRILLING RIGHTS?

YOU MEAN TO SAY:

YOU THINK THERE'S OIL

THERE IN MASSACHUSETTS?

[ TELEPHONE BUZZES ]

HENRY TYROON'S OFFICE.

JUST ONE MOMENT.

I'LL SEE IF HE'S IN.

ARE YOU IN?

IT'S FOR YOU.

HELLO?

OH, HI, JACK.

HOW ARE YOU?

JACK? NOT BO?

IT'S JACK GRAHAM.

HE HEARD I WAS AT THIS NUMBER.

JUST A SOCIABLE CALL.

WHAT'S THAT, JACK?

OH, WELL,

IT'S KIND OF PARTLY CLOUDY.

IT'S A NICE DAY, THOUGH.

NICE DAY YESTERDAY, TOO.

HOW IS IT DOWN THERE,

HOT AND DRY?

JACK SAYS IT'S HOT AND DRY

DOWN IN TEXAS.

OH, THAT'S A LOAD OFF MY MIND.

[ TELEPHONE BUZZES ]

HENRY TYROON'S OFFICE.

YES, HE IS, BUT HE'S BUSY

ON THE OTHER LINE JUST NOW.

WILL YOU HOLD, OR SHALL I

HAVE HIM CALL YOU BACK?

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT NICE

OF YOU, JACK.

JACK'S FLYING SOME PEOPLE

TO SUN VALLEY.

WANTS TO KNOW:

IF WE WANT TO GO SKIING.

IT'S FOR YOU.

OH, HEY, JACK,

I GOT ANOTHER CALL.

I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO PASS

THIS TIME.

RIGHTO.

THANK YOU, JACK.

HELLO?

OH, HI, BO!

HOW ARE YOU?

WELL, IT'S KIND OF PARTLY

CLOUDY, BUT IT'S A NICE DAY.

I HEAR IT'S HOT AND DRY

DOWN THERE.

TERRIFIC WEATHER REPORT.

COSTS ONLY $300 AN HOUR.

BO, GOT A LITTLE PROJEC FOR YOU.

YEP. WHIPPLETON,

MASSACHUSETTS.

NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.

THE UNIVERSAL WIDGET SITE.

WE'LL DRILL RIGHT THROUGH

THE ROCK TO THE EOSINE.

LET ME KNOW:

WHEN YOU GET THERE, BO.

BO, SKIP THE QUESTIONS.

I GOT A REASON.

YOU JUST CALL ME

WHEN YOU GET TO THE HOTEL.

RIGHTO.

NOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

THAT THERE'S ANY OIL

WITHIN 1,000 MILES

OF MASSACHUSETTS?

MOLLY, YOU GO A LITTLE OLD COMPANY

THAT'S GOT A LITTLE OLD

WEEDY PIECE OF LAND.

IT NEVER HURTS:

THE STOCK IN I TO SET UP A DRILLING RIG

AND DRILL FOR OIL.

[ TELEPHONE BUZZES ]

HELLO?

NO, THIS IS W-1-H-K-K.

YEAH.

YOU BETTER HURRY

IF YOU'RE GONNA GET DOWNTOWN

BEFORE THE STOCK MARKE CLOSES.

YOU CAN HAVE A HAIRDO

OR A RIDE IN A CONVERTIBLE,

BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

COME IN!

DOOR'S OPEN!

All:
AFTERNOON, MA'AM.

HOWDY, HENRY.

WE JUST GOT IN.

HI, JAY RAY,

RAY JAY, J.R.

HENRY, THEY REALLY GO OIL IN MASSACHUSETTS?

WELL...

A MAN CAN'T EVEN USE

A RADIO PHONE ANYMORE.

YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO DRILL

THROUGH THAT HARD ROCK

TO THE EOSINE, SON?

WHAT'S THAT MASSACHUSETTS

ACTION, HENRY?

NOW, YOU BOYS

ARE A WEE BIT EARLY.

THIS IS:

AN INVESTMENT SITUATION.

I'LL KEEP YOU INFORMED.

HENRY, COULDN'T I

SELL THEM SOME?

I'LL TAKE AN EIGHTH,

WHATEVER IT IS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'LL TAKE AN EIGHTH.

TAKE AN EIGHTH OF YOUR EIGHTH,

RAY JAY.

FOR THE EIGHTH OF THE EIGHTH,

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO --

GIVE YOU A RIG I GOT STACKED

AND THROW IN A HELICOPTER.

I DON'T NEED NO RIG.

I'LL SWAP YOU TWO

OF MY EXPRESSIONIST PICTURES.

RAISE YOU AN EXPRESSIONIS AND THROW IN ANOTHER HELICOPTER.

WELL, NOW, SIR,

I'LL JUST SEE YOUR RAISE,

AND I'LL RAISE YOU TWO MORE

OF MY EXPRESSIONIST PICTURES.

NOW, WHOA, WHOA.

HOLD ON, BOYS.

THERE'S NOTHING

TO SELL YET.

WELL, HENRY, IF WE'RE EARLY,

DON'T YOU FORGET ONE THING.

WE STILL BUDDIES.

- YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

- YEAH.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HOW CAN YOU BUY SOMETHING WHEN

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS?

WELL, YOU SEE, MA'AM, HENRY HERE

IS A REAL WHEELER DEALER.

AND A WHEELER DEALER

IS SOMEBODY:

THAT LOVES TO FIND PLACES

FOR MONEY TO GO.

IT'S LIKE HITCHING

ONTO A STAR.

YOU MAY ZOOM UP TO THE SKIES

ON A MIGHTY PRETTY RIDE.

AND IF THE STAR FALLS?

WELL, THEN I FIND SOME WAY

FOR THE GOVERNMEN TO TAKE THREE-QUARTERS

OF THE LOSS.

YOU SEE, MISS THATCHER,

THAT'S THE MARK

OF A REAL WHEELER DEALER.

YEAH.

AAH!

INVESTORS!

THAT STREE IS FULL OF INVESTORS!

[ GROWLING ]

Man:

OH, STOP IT, VANSON.

LOOK AT THEM:

DOWN THERE, BOSS.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY --

THAT'S ALL THEY WANT.

RELAX, VANSON.

RELAX?

HOW CAN I RELAX?

I DOUBLE-CHECKED

THE CONSOLIDATED SILICON

STOCK TRANSFER.

IT'S ALL PERFECTLY LEGAL, BOSS.

THE COMPANY'S IN THE CLEAR.

BE PATIENT.

SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS

IS BOUND TO COME ALONG.

WE HAVEN'T HAD

A REALLY GOOD VICTIM

SINCE WE SMASHED

ZIRCON AVIATION PRODUCTS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T AROUND

FOR THE CRASH OF '29.

IT WAS HEAVEN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH. YEAH.

I'VE GOT LOTS OF STATISTICS,

LIKE LABOR SUPPLY

AND POWER CONSUMPTION

IN THE AREA:

AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

THAT WON'T DO IT,

SWEETHEART.

WE NEED ROMANCE --

WAVES OF THE FUTURE,

RIBBONS OF CONCRETE

ACROSS THE LAND,

THE COUNTRY GROWING,

GROWING, GROWING.

WE GOT TO BUILD A BANDWAGON

FOR THESE PEOPLE TO JUMP ON.

I SURE HOPE:

YOU LIKE GARLIC.

WE HAVE GOT TO FIGURE, WHO ARE

THE BIG INVESTORS TODAY?

NOT THE MORGANS:

AND THE ROCKEFELLERS ANYMORE.

NO, IT'S THE PENSION FUNDS AND

UNION FUNDS AND MUTUAL FUNDS.

RIGHT. NOW, YOU TAKE

ONE OF THESE MUTUAL-FUND FELLAS.

MAILMAN BRINGS HIM $20 MILLION

EVERY DAY TO INVEST.

HE CAN'T GO SPECULATING

ON NO WILDCATS.

NO, HE GOT TO

PLAY IT CAUTIOUS.

HE HAS GOT TO INVES JUST LIKE

ALL THE OTHER MANAGERS DO.

NOW, WE'VE GOT TO CONVINCE

EACH ONE OF THEM

THAT THE OTHER:

IS BUYING WIDGET.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

YOUR SOCKS.

I NEVER SAW THOSE BEFORE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER

WITH MY SOCKS?

WELL...

YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNNY.

I LOOK LIKE A BUNNY?

MM-HMM.

I CAN JUST SEE YOU

AS A LITTLE BOY.

LITTLE TINY WHEELER DEALER

TRADING A RED WAGON

FOR A BICYCLE.

AND YOU LOOK SO MUCH

LIKE A BUNNY,

NOBODY COULD GET MAD.

IT'S TIME FOR BUNNY'S

EVENING NIBBLE.

[ SIZZLING ]

MM! MM!

SCALLOPINI'S BURNING.

I APPRECIATE THE JOB YOU BOYS

DID PUBLICIZING MY RESTAURANT.

- IT WAS GREAT.

- HA! GREAT!

DID HE SAY GREAT?

LISTEN TO HIM, BUSTER.

HE CALLS IT ONLY GREAT.

ONLY GREAT, MR. TYROON?

THE JOB WE DID:

WAS ONLY MAGNIFICENT!

- ONLY STUPENDOUS!

- ONLY FABULOUS!

THAT'S ALL IT WA--

GET THE BOOK. GET THE BOOK.

YOU'LL READ THE BOOK.

YOU'LL LOOK IN THE BOOK.

YOU'LL SEE.

LOOK. EVERY PAGE HAS GOT A PLUG

FOR CHEZ-HENRI.

OKAY, OKAY.

I AGREE.

NOW I'VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE

FOR YOU TO TAKE ON.

YOU NAME IT, WE'LL MAKE I A HOUSEHOLD WORD.

UNIVERSAL WIDGET.

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