The Young Offenders Page #6
- Year:
- 2016
- 83 min
- $384,882
- 1,920 Views
tell me it was him?
You're f***in' useless.
Yeah, look at the ground.
Look at the f***in' ground.
Sometimes people
People will get you down
But get back up
It's not the end of the world
Heh, although it may feel
like that sometimes
It's so simple
Simple as one, two, three
Back on your feet
You gotta
hold your head high...
Dad, are you home?
Let 'em know
we right here forever
We ain't going nowhere
till the end of the world...
Nice of you
to finally come home.
You're not gonna tell me
where you've been?
Back here
when I'm talking to you.
It's so simple
Simple as one, two, three
Back on your feet
You gotta hold
your head high...
The least you can do is offer me
some half-arsed excuse!
Just leave me alone!
What happened to your face?
Nothing.
End of the world
Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing the most impressive
I plan on shaking the planet
until I'm convalescent
I only count the cost of living
It's hard to buy everything
they sell on television...
Are you alright?
Look, I'm grand.
Alright?
I just wanna be left alone.
Sometimes people
People will get you down...
Fine.
Get back up, it's not the end
of the world, yeah
Although it may feel
like that sometimes
It's so simple
Simple as one, two, three
Back on your feet
You gotta hold your head high
Let 'em know
we right here forever
We ain't going nowhere
till the end of the world.
How are you, love? Is the
battery pre-charged in this?
Should be.
Stick in the gas canister
and you'll hear a pump if it is.
What are you making?
I'm not making anything.
What's the nail gun for?
For torturing people.
That's good.
"Torturing."
one of them. They're great.
Yeah. I'll take that.
That's 375, all in.
Oh...
F***.
I don't have any money.
Fsssh...
Sorry, love,
you can't have it, so.
Careful -
those nail guns are lethal.
Arggh!
Oh, don't do that.
It's stuck in the bone.
Arggh!
Took you long enough.
I'm here now, aren't I?
Are you alright?
Yeah. Fine.
It's actually good timing,
you know?
I was just thinking
about moving out.
Can I get dressed first
before we go, yeah?
Yeah. Sure.
Do you get off on that, yeah?
What goes on in this house
is none of your business.
Maybe not.
But I think I just found
my new hobby.
Calling all Gardai.
Be on the lookout for a male
armed with a nail gun.
Made you your favourite -
chicken nuggets.
No, I've
kind of gone off chicken.
Jesus, what the f***
happened to you?
Nothing.
Are you gonna tell me where you
were for the last two days?
No.
Do you think I'm a sh*t mam?
Yeah.
Try having a sh*t son.
Go on,
tell me what I can do better.
No, you called me
f***ing retarded last week,
and there's no need for it.
You can't call your son that
or he'll grow up with problems.
Alright. Stop being a retard
and I'll stop calling you one.
That's exactly
what I mean, like, wh...
I'm messing with you.
F***ing relax.
Yeah, but sometimes
you're not messing.
Just stop calling me
that kind of stuff.
Alright.
You have to trust me
a bit more as well.
It's not you I don't trust.
It's Jock I don't trust.
- Why not?
- Because Jock's a total f***-up.
Oh, he's such a laugh, like.
He's the only fella in school
that, kind of,
makes me feel warm...
Not 'warm', like, but...
makes me feel nice, like.
Are you gay?
Is that what this is?
I mean, it's grand if you are.
Like, f***,
No, Mam, I'm not gay.
But if I was, hypopharically...
..hypoth... hypothetic...
hypothetically...
- Hypothetically.
- Hypothetically.
He'd be the guy
I'd want to be gay with.
Who says that?
Jock, is that you?
- Alright, boy?
- It's alright.
There was this weird-looking
fella there came up to me
by the garage.
Hang on a sec. Who's that?
He was kind of sloping down
and he was dragging his leg.
A zombie. A zombie.
That's what he looked like.
- Are you a guard, or what?
- Do I look like a guard? No.
- He had a picture in his hand.
- Do you know where he lives?
And he was, like,
"Conor MacSweeney."
- Conor MacSweeney.
- "Conor MacSweeney."
- "Where does he live?"
- He's a friend of yours.
He looks just like you. All
you little f***ers are the same.
- I swear to f***.
He has something
that belongs to me.
- Cocaine?
- He said nothing about cocaine.
So you didn't say nothing?
What about the rest of the boys?
Oh, one of them,
alright, no, said, um...
"We know
where he lives, actually."
He was like,
"I know where he lives."
What the f*** you doing, boy?
I nudged him. I was like,
"Are you f***ing slow?"
- I said, "Shut the f*** up!"
- Just tell me where he lives!
Get the f***...! Get...
- Come here. Come here!
- Get off me, you f***ing...
Five minutes later, then,
I was thinking to myself,
"It's Conor MacSweeney
he's on about."
Everyone knows
where that dopey mog lives.
He's still around, play it wide?
F***'s sake. Alright.
Cheers! Nice one.
- See you later.
- See you later.
Sorry,
I gotta do something important.
I'll be back later, I promise!
Look, I just don't want you to
be a total f***-up, alright?
I'm not gonna be
a total f***-up.
I'll f*** up along the way,
like, but I'm not gonna...
Do you promise?
..I'm not gonna f*** up
my whole life.
And if I'm being
brutally honest...
..you're not the shittest mam
in town, so,
that's the only compliment
you're getting
at this point in time.
I'll take that. Thank you.
Well,
that's all you're getting, so...
You're not retarded.
Most of the time.
- Oh, come on, Mam.
I'm only messing with you.
- Say one thing good about me.
- I'm only...
or I'm gonna cry!
You're a really, really good
son. You're a good son.
That's very vague.
What do you like about me?
You're really sweet.
Yeah. Now...
- And you're thoughtful.
- You're so vague!
Pr... what's... what's...
what's...
What do I do that... you like?
Do you remember that time
on my birthday last year?
- And I thought you forgot?
- Yeah?
And you bought me flowers,
and it was just...
..it was just really nice.
Cool.
It was just really nice.
Alright, but don't cry.
I'm not crying.
- It was a year ago.
- I know.
I know.
Eat your food, you weirdo.
- F***in' hell.
- You sure you don't want one?
No, I don't want one.
I don't either, actually.
It's disgusting.
Told you get the nice ones.
- What?
- Get the nice ones next time.
Yeah.
We're in major f***ing sh*t!
But I got a plan!
Jock, my f***ing mam's here.
- How are you, Mrs MacSweeney?
- How are you, Jock?
- Can we talk somewhere else?
- No. We haven't got time.
The dealer we stole the cocaine
off is coming. He's not happy.
- What?
- It's not as bad as it sounds.
Yeah, it IS as bad as it sounds.
You're un-f***ing-believable,
do you know that?
We wouldn't be in this mess
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"The Young Offenders" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_young_offenders_21699>.
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