This Is 40 Page #11

you're better than this.

F*** you, Jill. You're a

horrible f***ing woman.

This is why everybody

hates you, Jill.

This kind of sh*t. Ineffective.

F***ing bullshit hair.

And I'm glad your husband died.

Because you're a f***ing a**hole.

He probably killed himself.

Okay, Catherine, I think we

know what's happening now.

Now you know what

we're dealing with.

I'm not gonna eat that chicken.

Why not?

Because I feel like I'm

gonna be a vegetarian.

Can you become a vegetarian tomorrow?

Uh-uh.

You guys

have been reading my texts?

No, we haven't.

Yes, we have.

We're supposed to

keep an eye on you.

How did you find out?

Joseph told me that you flipped

out on him and his mom.

And you guys are nuts,

and I agree.

All right, you know what?

Don't be disrespectful.

You're the ones

who are disrespectful.

Reading my texts is like

reading my diary.

And you were really

sweet on your iChats.

We were really proud of you.

Yeah, we were going to give you

your computer and phone back.

F*** you!

Okay, there's the first

official "f*** you."

Okay, that is not how we talk

to each other in this house.

You guys talk to each other

like that all the time.

And to Joseph and his mom.

You made Joseph cry.

Joseph has a crush on you.

You like a boy who cries.

Shut up, Charlotte.

You guys so desperately want me to be

so perfect and to make no mistakes.

Well, you two

are f***ing insane.

Okay.

All you do is fight, or you don't

fight, which is even worse

because it looks like you

hate each other for weeks.

You obsess over

every little thing I do,

and you don't trust

in me or believe in me.

Well, I'm f***ing sick of it.

Yeah, I said "f***."

F***, f***, f***.

Ground me forever, I don't care.

I don't care about anything.

I hate everything.

Everyone's going crazy. I don't

care if I have no friends.

Are you still upset about Lost?

Of course I'm upset about Lost!

You guys took away my sh*t before I

could watch the last two episodes.

And I don't know

what the f*** happened!

She's becoming just like us.

I hope I never get my period

if this is what happens.

Where did you find this?

I stole it.

Thank you.

No big deal.

Our kids are f***ing crazy.

And it's our fault.

Do you think there's anything we

can do to turn it around, or...

Sadie's 13. She might

be a lost cause.

Where did she learn

that kind of language?

We don't talk like that.

I have no f***ing idea.

Do you think Sadie

is this crazy because of us

or is it hormones and Lost?

J. J. Abrams.

He's ruining our daughter.

Yeah.

That f***ing geek.

I feel bad for us.

I feel bad for us.

All of a sudden, we're like

a magnet for negativity.

Why do people

keep attacking us?

What did we do?

We're just doing our best.

Should we talk about our fight?

I think we're

under enough pressure.

Let's just let

it go, this time.

Yeah.

We can give each other a break.

All right, great.

Thank you.

And I'm sorry about my dad.

You're right.

I'm sorry that he's just

an endless mooch.

The truth is that

this isn't about us.

It's about our parents.

We're not even mad at each other.

We're mad at them.

Exactly. Exactly.

Let's just take away our

parents' power by loving them.

Can we do that?

Yes.

Thank God.

I kind of feel

better already, do you?

Do you?

I do.

I love you.

I love you, too.

It's not us, it's them.

Totally.

What are you doing? We have

to get ready for the party.

I just watched

the last episode of Lost.

Okay.

You know what? We don't have

time for this right now.

We have a lot of

people coming over.

They're all dead.

What?

Jack, Kate, Sawyer...

I don't care about the show right now.

Jin, Sun...

Okay? I need you to just get

in the shower, get dressed.

Let's just put it on hold.

Walt, Juliet...

All those people.

Don't think about Lost today.

Tomorrow, Lost, all day.

I can't wait to hear about it.

Jack? No way, really?

Right now, shower.

I don't make fun of

your stupid Mad Men.

First of all, I don't get

worked up over Mad Men.

That's because Mad Men sucks.

What Don Draper

has gone through

beats whatever Jack is running

from on some f***ing island.

Bunch of people smoking in an office.

It's stupid.

It's about a lot more than that.

And you don't have any kind

of understanding about what

it was like in the '60s.

You do cry during Mad Men.

I don't cry over it. I appreciate it.

Right.

You're getting me off topic.

Just, please, get dressed.

Hello.

Hi.

I'm glad you're here.

I need a buffer

in case it gets weird.

Oh, well, I'm ready to buff.

Grab these napkins.

Let's buff. Okay.

So, that's the girl

who works for you.

Yeah. That's her.

Works for Debbie.

She seems nice.

My wife would never let me

have a hot employee like that.

Yeah?

No.

Every woman who works for us

looks like they've been in some

kind of horrible accident.

I'm taking control,

and now you're my slave.

Are you comfortable with that

around your husband?

Oh. Pete wouldn't know

what to do with that.

Do you think our wives are

looking at us right now?

Oh, definitely.

Yeah.

They look like pedophiles.

Thank you. The girls are

so excited you're here.

They're all outside.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, how are you?

How are you, man?

Good to see you.

Happy birthday, Pete.

How wonderful to see you.

Thank you, Grandma Molly.

You're wonderful.

And look at my gorgeous,

gorgeous, gorgeous.

No, I get that. I'm just

wondering why I should do it.

Pete, Jason's here.

Peter, hi.

Hey, how's it going, Jason?

You look well.

Thank you.

How do you like what I've

been doing to your girl?

How you like

Debbie's "after" body?

It's nice.

Come on. Show him.

Look at this.

It's beautiful.

Look at that "after" ass.

Now, it starts here.

But it used to start here.

And I brought it up.

You're welcome.

So, are you a trainer?

Yes.

Oh.

But not just physical. Spiritual.

I'm sort of a guide.

Mm-hmm. You guys should talk.

I think you'll get along.

Come here, honey.

I gotta tell you something.

Yeah.

Who's that in the pool?

Mine.

Hello.

Hello, Debbie.

How are you?

Good.

Remember my husband, Pete?

Oh, right. I didn't recognize

you with the long hair.

Oh, yeah.

I've been growing it.

Happy birthday.

Thank you so much.

Very old Scotch.

Wow. You know...

I hope it hasn't expired.

No, Scotch doesn't expire.

It improves with age.

Yeah. No, I know.

Thank you so...

That's nice. Come on in. Sure.

Sorry.

So, what do you do

in Chino, Oliver?

I'm a surgeon.

Wow. What kind?

That's great.

Mainly of the spine.

My specialty is

scoliosis surgery.

My mom used to talk to me

like I had scoliosis

because I'm a little hunchy,

but that's a different thing.

Well, you definitely

don't look right.

Hey!

Hey!

Sorry we're late.

I was in the lab,

cloning myself.

We're gonna have

another seven tomorrow.

We cut their hair differently, so

we can finally tell who they are.

You like the new

haircut, Travis?

I'm Jack, damn it!

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