This Is 40 Page #4

Synopsis: Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) are turning 40. But instead of celebrating, they're mired in a mid-life crisis with unruly kids, debt and unhappiness mounding. Pete's record label is failing and Debbie is unable to come to terms with her aging body. As Pete's 40th birthday party arrives, Pete and Debbie are going to have to rely on family, friends, employees, fitness trainers, aging rockers and ultimately each other to come to terms with life at age 40.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Judd Apatow
Production: Universal Studios
  2 wins & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
59
Rotten Tomatoes:
52%
R
Year:
2012
134 min
$65,200,000
Website
3,194 Views


Are you serious?

How much?

$12,000.

Oh, God.

And Desi's taking it?

Well, I don't know.

That's what Jodi said.

We really need

the store to work.

It is.

Don't put that kind

of pressure on me.

No, no. It's not

what I mean. I'm just...

Are you nervous about money?

Are we okay?

Yeah.

All right.

Maybe we just suck it up

because she's clearly

earning so much more than

any other employee we have.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

We can't fire her.

We're barely

breaking even with her.

That's why we have to keep her.

Look at this. She's

making out with somebody.

Is she screwing him?

That might be like a dry hump.

Look at the position

of her skirt.

That's too grainy

to know for sure.

Oh, my God. This is in the middle of the day.

Customers could be in there.

At least she's getting some.

What did you say?

"At least she's getting some"?

Yes.

What are you talking about?

We had sex the other night.

You gotta give me

a little credit for that.

It's not about credit.

It's about...

We need to have more passion.

Like this.

That's not passionate.

It looks passionate to me.

What?

What is she doing? Okay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh.

Don't do that.

What am I doing?

Don't fart in the bed.

I'm not. It's the springs.

This is why we never have sex.

That's disgusting,

you're gross.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You're so...

God!

Sadie, Sadie,

Sadie, Sadie, Sadie

Charlotte,

I'm doing my homework.

Okay, watch this.

Watch this.

There's a haunted cow

back here.

I'm pretty sure

it does not have milk.

Moo.

Moo!

See that?

They took me away.

You're no fun.

You never want to play.

Charlotte, how many times

do I have to tell you?

Sadie, Sadie, Sadie

Sadie is boring

You're so mean since

your body got weird.

Close the door.

You're no fun.

If you can just move

just a little bit more.

Oh, sh*t.

Ah!

Ow. Ow.

No, my boob is in there!

Did I tell you that my

son's going to Stanford?

No, that's great. Great for

us, and great for him.

Cough again.

Great school.

Everything looks good.

Your face is close to my face.

Descending colon.

I'm about four

feet in right now.

That's what he said.

Just try to breathe

through your nose.

That's your mouth.

Breathe through your nose.

Are you all right?

Are you a grinder?

Do you grind your teeth?

I grind all night.

Oh!

I think we need to

turn the gas down.

Turn it up!

No, we're going to

turn it down.

Turn it up!

Ooh!

Do you have to breathe

right on my neck?

Sorry.

What are you all

doing for Christmas?

Um, I don't know.

You have a tree and everything?

Mm-hmm.

Isn't that fun?

In the spirit?

Sorry, I just had

one quick question.

On your form, you said

you were born in 1974,

but your paper, it said '72. So I

just need to know which it is.

It's 1974.

Oh, wait.

Because on your last form,

you said that you

were born in 1975.

Didn't you tell me

you were born in 1976?

No.

That's funny.

So, you want to go with 1974?

I'm not gonna "go with" 1974.

It is 1974.

Okay.

Just remember to write

"1974" every time.

It's okay. It's 1976.

I lie about my age, okay?

Okay.

Okay? Okay? Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

You're tightening up.

Oh, my gosh.

I know how old you are by

counting the rings.

A little gyno joke.

Oh, my God. Please.

What are you doing?

Getting ready to

go for my ride.

You want a blowj*b?

Yeah. Why?

I really want a cigarette right now.

Wow, happy to help.

Charlotte,

where is my backpack?

Hello?

Mom's busy!

Why are you locking the door?

Mom, what's going on in there?

Mom, I can't be late

for school. I have a test.

Mommy can't talk right now!

This isn't funny, Mom.

I need to go!

Mom, let me in!

Please!

That's not gonna help!

Put on your shoes.

We'll meet you in the car.

Ow. Sadie hurt me!

I didn't!

So, hit her back!

She's faking.

- I'm not!

- Go downstairs!

Please! Sadie gave me a...

Stop crying!

Stop crying!

Stop it!

God damn it!

Quit killing each other!

Mom, please come out.

Shut up!

Stop it!

- Open the door!

- Go away!

Open it up!

Please!

Forget it.

No, don't forget it, don't forget it.

Don't, don't...

Oh, God.

Hey, boychik!

Hey!

It's the 11:
00

from London.

Drop something valuable,

you sh*t!

How you doing?

How are you, bubeleh?

That's loud.

Every eight minutes, buddy.

You look pretty good.

Your hair is different.

Yeah, I'm growing it out.

I'd get it cut.

Daddy, you never play with me.

I do, but right now,

look who I'm talking to.

Hi.

It's your brother!

Hi. You don't look

like my brother.

I told you, honey, that's

because of the egg donor.

Remember?

I came from a test tube!

How's business?

It's not good.

Nobody wants curtains.

They think of it like a luxury.

It's not a luxury.

You need shade.

You need privacy.

Who wants to have

other people watch you f***?

I know how you feel.

My business is going through

some growing pains right now.

Daddy!

Daddy!

Dont jump on Daddy. Be

careful, dont jump on Daddy!

Remember,

Daddy has high blood what?

High blood pressure.

That's right.

My daddy's old.

Can you go outside

without me for a little bit?

Yeah. Don't go near

that little pool!

All right? We're going

to pee in the pool.

Do The Three Stooges routine

you were practicing.

I can't tell them apart.

I swear to God, I need tattoos.

Look, I wanted to

talk to you about

scaling back a little bit.

You know, Deb and I are... We're

thinking about selling the house.

I think that house

is more than you need.

I think it was too big of a

purchase when you made it.

Yeah. In the meantime, I'm going

to have to make some changes.

I'm going to have to cut back.

I understand.

What do you mean?

With you.

Oh.

I'm sorry. What?

I can't lend you

any more money.

No, that's a bad idea. That's

not the way to cut back.

I have three children here.

What about Claire?

Can't she get a job?

Claire takes care

of your brothers!

What do you want her to do?

If she goes to work,

then I gotta hire somebody!

Well, you've got to

figure something out

because I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Okay, fine.

Why don't we kill them?

Come on,

we'll kill two of them.

I'll keep the best one.

Really, it'll save us

both a lot of trouble.

Come on.

Line up!

Line up for murder! Come on!

Who wants to be killed?

I do!

Okay, we're eliminating one already.

We're cheaper. You're gone.

Murder me.

Okay. Boom. Dead!

I'm dead!

You're dead! You're dead!

Kill me, kill me! All right,

the kids are murdered.

That will save us some money.

Daddy is the best!

Why would you have

three kids, anyway?

I mean, you're 60 years old.

You have no money.

Because Claire wanted a baby.

If we didn't at least try,

she would have left me.

She was 45 years old.

Nobody thought it would take.

The doctor, when we're doing in

vitro, is winking at me like...

"Don't worry, don't worry."

We were very unlucky.

And now, we have these

three beautiful children.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow (; born December 6, 1967) is an American producer, writer, director, actor and stand-up comedian. He is the founder of Apatow Productions, through which he produced and developed the television series Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Girls, Love, and Crashing and directed the films The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Knocked Up (2007), Funny People (2009), This Is 40 (2012), and Trainwreck (2015). Apatow's work has won numerous awards including a Primetime Emmy Award, a Hollywood Comedy Award, and an AFI Award for Bridesmaids (2011). His films have also been nominated for Grammy Awards, PGA Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and Academy Awards.His producing credits include Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Superbad (2007), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Pineapple Express (2008), Get Him to the Greek (2010), Bridesmaids (2011), The Five-Year Engagement (2012), Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013), Begin Again (2014), Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016), and The Big Sick (2017). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "This Is 40" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/this_is_40_21791>.

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