This Is 40 Page #7

Let me just grab

the candy worms.

See, your rules are ridiculous.

Don't sass me.

I'm only sassing you because you're

throwing out all the food in our house

and I'm freaking starving.

You're being stupid.

Wendy, could you go stand

in the other room, please?

Yeah.

Mom.

Give me your iPhone, now.

The nougat things are good.

I have all my

contacts in there.

Okay, if you don't give me

your phone right now,

then I'm gonna have to take away

your phone and your computer.

Jesus Christ, I need

my computer to do homework.

That's it.

No phone, no computer.

This is B.S.

This is a bunch of F-ing S.

You're acting like a B.

Kids! Time to go!

You go to your room, right now.

You are not allowed to use

iPhone, iPad,

iPod Touch, iTunes, Netflix,

Pandora, or Spotify.

She's a little pip,

just like her mommy.

So, I might have

a job tomorrow.

At least, I'm gonna go

try to give an estimate.

Do you mind taking the kids

for a couple of hours?

Um...

Okay.

This is nice.

You and I don't spend

enough time together, do we?

We spend enough time together.

We do?

It's quality time.

Then we do.

I'll go with what you think.

What else did they say?

All right,

some kid named Joseph...

I know Joseph.

You do?

He's making

a "hot-or-not" list.

What?

Sadie said, "That's so lame and

immature that you're doing that."

And then Joseph says, "Yo, girl,

we're just having some fun."

"So don't be a b*tch, yo."

That is not nice.

So then Sadie said,

"Don't call me a b*tch."

And Joseph said,

"I didn't call you a b*tch."

"I said don't

act like a b*tch."

"And by the way, you're

in the 'Not-Hot' column."

Who made him

the judge of "hot"?

Do you realize what that

could do to her self-esteem?

What a little fuckhead.

I'll kill him.

Then Sadie said, "You're

in the jackass column."

"I gotta go,

I'm bored of you."

That is cool.

That's taking the high road.

And then, for some reason,

there's an emoticon

of a panda doing push-ups.

I wonder what that means.

I don't think it means anything.

I think it's just adorable.

Aww.

Well, she's a good girl.

She was polite and she

stood up for herself.

That's pretty cool.

What?

Sh*t.

What?

I thought she was coming in.

Oh, my God,

that scared me to death.

If she caught us,

she would kill us.

She would.

She would kill us.

Huh.

I gotta make a call.

We sold how many?

612 album downloads.

Wait a minute. There

are no zeroes after that?

There are zeroes, but all

of them are before 612.

There are none after.

How is that even possible?

Well, out of

612 people chose

to download the album.

You could personally call

everyone who bought this record.

We're f***ed, we're f***ed.

Here's the deal, I want you to

meet me tomorrow morning at 8:00.

I want a list of at least 30 ideas

of what we can do to change this.

We have to change this.

I started a record label

because I couldn't get a job,

so I have no other options.

What financial problems?

Well, I mean, for one thing,

you were right.

You are missing about

$10,000 from the store.

And then, Pete's

record not selling well.

Pete's record not selling...

I thought we weren't supposed

to hear for three weeks.

We heard.

You heard?

And they're bad.

It's that and it's the money that

he's been lending his father.

That's creating a strain.

How much have we lent him?

Eighty thousand.

Did you say 8,000 or 80,000?

the past couple of years.

And then you missed

the mortgage payment.

On the house?

And you missed

the rental on the office.

Does Pete know that?

Yeah, we're on

the phone all the time.

Look, I know you're

going through a hard time.

And I want you guys to know

that we're here for you, okay?

Anything you guys need,

that's why we're here.

We're here for times like this.

What are you gonna do?

There's not much I can do.

What are you doing?

I'm drawing the album cover

for Van Halen's Diver Down.

If you spent a little bit more

time focusing on Graham Parker

instead of

drawing album covers,

I wouldn't be in

this predicament.

I'm focused on Graham Parker.

You're supposed to

help me with him.

You're supposed to

call the companies.

You're supposed to

get people to the show.

I've done

everything I can, Pete.

You had me

pushing around a corpse.

It was like being in f***ing

Weekend at Graham's.

What should we do?

I'm out of ideas.

You fly in The Rumour.

I can't sell a reunion concert

without the band, it's ridiculous.

With what?

I can't afford it.

You put this on yourself.

You wanted the responsibility.

Take it on the f***ing chin,

and stop acting like a b*tch.

What did you call me?

Chin.

Pete. Wait, Pete!

Hey, I have an apartment.

I have health insurance,

I have car payments.

I have responsibilities.

You have responsibilities? Don't

talk to me about responsibilities.

I have a life.

I have a family.

I can't afford to sit in my apartment

getting high, jerking off,

and then going to Tommy's Chili

Burgers at 3:
00 in the morning.

That's not even the order

that that happens in!

I have everything to lose, here.

Everything.

Yes, because you spent thousands

of dollars on sh*t we don't need.

You really need to spend $30,000

on a f***ing neon sign, dude?

Which is inside, it's not even outside.

We know where we work.

If you want to sign a band, you gotta

look like you're the real deal.

Princess Labia, how much is it

to f***ing fly The Rumour in?

It's 12,000.

$12,000!

All right,

you know what? Fine.

Fly in The Rumour.

Put it on my AmEx.

No, you said it was impossible.

I don't think

I said "impossible."

Yeah.

I usually don't

say "impossible."

I like to leave

some wiggle room.

You said that my fibroid

was like a giant boulder,

like the one from

the Indiana Jones movies

blocking up my uterus.

Uterus.

And I need to stop using that

reference of Indiana Jones.

I think that that's not appropriate when

talking about the reproductive system.

It's okay.

Anyway, somehow the

Eastern medicine has worked,

and the fibroid has dissipated.

That's great!

Yes.

Wow.

Yes.

Your fibroid shrunk and somehow

it allowed you to get pregnant.

What?

You're gonna have

your third baby.

Congratulations.

No.

Yes.

Would you like some water?

That's good news.

Another baby.

At 40.

Debbie?

I am thrilled.

And Pete is gonna be so happy.

So, you're okay?

What a relief.

Because I can finally

relax now, you know?

It's been, like...

It's okay.

I'm so happy, though, you know?

I really am, because, I mean...

It's good.

Great. Great.

Hey.

Hey.

Why are you in a bathrobe? It's

the middle of the afternoon.

I took a late shower.

Why are you busting my balls?

I'm sorry about the record.

You're going through financial sh*t.

This is what I live with.

This is a horrible time in human history.

What is that?

It's something that might

help both of our situations.

This is

a drawing by John Lennon.

I got it 10 years ago

for $5,000.

I don't know how

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