This Is the End Page #8

so f***ing hard in here!

This, no more, man.

All over your f***ing face.

This f***ing all more.

All over the f***ing place!

I'll f***ing cum

anywhere I want!

I'll f***ing cum

on these walls!

I'll cum on

the f***ing cabinets!

On the f***ing furniture!

I'll cum everywhere!

If I see your dick

one more time,

I'm gonna f***ing

shoot it off!

You don't have

enough bullets, b*tch.

No f***ing jerking off

in my house, McBride!

Come on, man.

F*** this.

I'm just... I'm too thirsty to do this.

And the f***ing

bitter irony is

I'm not gonna have my thirst

quenched until I finish this.

God damn it, I hate it. Danny, no.

Don't walk away. Danny,

don't walk away from me!

It's too late, Seth. I've

already walked away too much.

No, you haven't. You

could still come back

and just f***ing turn around

and come back and help me.

Danny?

Daniel?

Need a hand?

Yeah, dude.

Your shift

just ended, man.

You don't have to help me

if you don't want to.

It's fine, I get it.

The f*** else

am I doing?

I appreciate it, man.

Thank you.

Done and done.

That's cool.

I don't know why I'm thinking

of this, but remember that time

that I got you a f***ing

Taco Bell gift certificate

for, like, 20 bucks,

and I bet you

that you couldn't eat

all of that in one sitting.

I do remember that.

I remember thinking,

"How much food

could 20 dollars

"possibly buy you

at Taco Bell?"

And the answer is infinite.

And we went to see

f***ing Gladiator.

Yeah.

And you sharted midway

through the movie.

I did. Due to the tigers' appearance.

I got scared of the tigers. Yeah.

Literally, when the second

tiger came out, I went...

...and then I shat.

I shat in the theater.

Jesus.

Oh, f***.

You guys okay?

I broke my ass in half.

Here.

Sh*t, they got through!

You guys f***ing did it.

Oh, my God.

F***. Did that hurt?

Oh, yes, it f***ing hurt.

I loosened this up for you,

I'll have you know.

Okay, just shut up.

It's f***ing dark down here.

Hold on, hold on.

Nice.

Okay, good.

Thank you. What is that?

That's Terrence Peterson.

My monkey flashlight keychain.

Monkey flashlight keychain?

Mmm-hmm.

What's his name?

Terrence Peterson.

You see it, Seth?

No. Where...

Are you sure

it's even down here?

Terry Pete.

Uh, not sure.

Is there, is there any

weird sh*t down here?

Nah, it's where I keep all my

stuff from my old movies.

Costumes, props.

What?

Is someone down there?

It's your f***ing stupid

cutout from Spider-Man 3.

Jesus Christ.

No sh*t!

- There it is!

- Yes! Yeah!

What, did you find it?

Yeah!

# La-da-da-da-dah

# It's the motherfucking

D - O-double-G

# Snoop Dogg!

# La-da-da-da-dahh

# You know I'm mobbin'

with the D.R.E. #

Water.

Mmm!

That is so f***ing good.

The two heroes over here,

breaking through the floor.

We did break

through the floor.

Any of you guys would

have done the same thing.

Oh, man.

That f***ing hurt.

Yeah, I'm surprised

you didn't shart again.

I think I did.

Hey, what year is this? 19...

That's a good...

That's a good year.

Hey, hey.

Yo, yo, yo!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

F***, man.

I'm just pouring myself

another glass of water

to wash down that dry-ass

Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

That's very nice,

but you can't just

pour yourself another

glass of water, man!

Will you cut it out?

Yeah. We agreed to one

glass at dinner,

we voted on it, man.

Well, man, I'm just

getting sick and tired

of all these

f***ing rules, man.

You don't see me putting rules

on you guys.

You cannot have

another glass of water.

Jay weighs 150 pounds

less than me.

Why the f*** is it fair

that him and I should drink

the same amount of water?

We should be

dividing our rations

based on our

proportionate size.

I don't want to come off

as a diva here or anything.

It's just that

I think everyone

should split

everything equally.

"I just think that everybody shoul

have the f***ing same.

"I have a goddamn earring. "

Shut the f*** up, Jonah!

You know what, Danny?

If you weren't jizzing

all the time, maybe

you'd be more hydrated.

You're making me into a

joke right now, Franco,

and you are not gonna like

the f***ing punch line.

No more jerking off! No more

water! Just sit the f*** down!

Okay, I'm done.

We're not gonna

have any more water.

Good.

All right.

Hey!

Someone help me!

F***ing grab it!

What are you doing?

You guys

made this happen!

You guys forced my f***ing

hand by ganging up on me.

God damn it, I'm gonna

f***ing kill this motherf***er!

That's what I thought.

Nerd.

All right, guys,

let's get rid of him.

What?

What do you mean?

Like, kick him

out of the house?

His f***ing reckless behavior

is dragging us all down.

I mean, he wasted

our water twice.

Two times. Two times.

Dan is under a lot

of pressure. Okay?

And he's not handling it as

good as the rest of us are.

Look at him. He's

wearing my f***ing tuxedo.

He's been eating nonstop.

The f***er's gained weight

since he got here.

The f***er's got to go.

Go.

The f***er's got to go.

This is how you all feel?

We talked about it.

You guys are gonna

vote me off the island?

I mean, I made

you guys breakfast.

Sh*t, man, you wasted half

of our food when you did that.

Just thought I was doing

something nice for you guys.

Just to apologize for

my behavior at the party.

Party I wasn't

even invited to.

I'm not an idiot.

I know why you guys don't f***ing

call me or hang out with me anymore.

It's because I party

so f***ing hard.

Always have.

Ever since I was a baby.

I wouldn't just suck

on my mama's titties.

I would f***ing bang 'em

and motorboat 'em.

Everything I've been doing

has just been a cry for help.

When I came on

your magazine, James,

it was a cum for help.

I've just been crying and

comin' and crying and comin',

tears from the tip

of my penis, dudes.

I'm sorry, all right? You

can cum wherever you want.

I don't even care about

cumming anymore.

Right now, I'm just

kind of into going.

Danny.

Danny.

Hey.

Come on, man.

I f***ed up.

I'm sorry, man.

Come on, look,

I was wrong.

I feel like sh*t, man.

I didn't want it

to happen like this.

Let's just discuss it

some more, okay?

Yeah. Let's just

talk, dude.

We're giving you an

option. It's a choice, man.

There's nothing to

figure out, all right?

You guys have said enough, and

there's no going back anymore.

I don't know if there maybe is,

like, something you guys could give me

so I could at least have some sort

of protection while I'm out there.

Danny, you don't

have to do this.

- Yeah, man.

- All right,

if you're really leaving

then you should

take this.

Really?

You don't know

what's out there.

Thank you, James.

It means a lot to you, and I

appreciate that you'd give this to me,

you stupid,

stupid motherf***er!

F***ing psychopath.

It's a prop gun!

What, do you think I'd

put real bullets in here?

You were gonna send me out

there with a f***ing gun

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