TiMER Page #3

Cindy, can you can give us a minute?

Bye, Cindy.

So I think I might need braces,

but I'm no expert, so what do you think?

This-- Look, I...

Come on, how cute

do I look in this bib?

You can't do this, OK?

This is my place of business...

Okay, look, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to freak you out,

I just...

I think you're really cool

and I think...

We should hang out.

Mikey, I...

I'm just a check-out guy.

- No! That's not it.

- Okay, good.

I'm a musician. And I'm

very passionate about my work.

Your real issue is my Timer?

Yeah, it is.

Girls like you think I'm cheating

on someone I haven't met yet, right?

No, I just think that if

you have a countdown,

if you're lucky enough

to know your path to...

True love. You can say it,

I'm not gonna laugh.

Yes, to true love.

Then you should honor that.

See, that's what's stupid

about the Timer--

it says you have one path,

and you can't take detours.

I mean, life is about detours.

You know what? You sound like

a credit card commercial.

I'm looking for my One,

and you're not him.

I get it.

So will this thing buzz, or light up?

Both, I think.

So, Guy, why have you never

gotten a Timer?

Romance has never really

been a priority for me.

Is this thing working?

Was it as magical as you hoped?

You know, it doesn't all have

to be chemistry from the jump.

Feelings can grow over time.

Yeah, sparks are fleeting,

nothing to talk about

can last a lifetime.

Thanks.

Have at it. I'll be right back.

Hey, we're Truckbeef.

Thanks for coming out.

This is our last song.

It's called:

"Mom, can I call you back?

I have to dispose of the body."

- Shut the door.

- Huh?

- Shut the door.

- Oh, yeah.

Don't worry, the guys'll be at

the bar for a few more hours.

Taking turns with our groupies.

I think it's really cute that

you all live together.

I remember when I was a little girl

and the Bangles broke up...

I imagined them rolling up their

Care Bear sleeping bags, and...

packing up their makeup kits...

My God!

Dragging them out of this really big loft

they undoubtedly shared together.

Who were the Bangles?

No, no! Silk.

I'll do it.

Oh God, okay.

Okay.

Hey, Mikey!

- Oh yes, Mikey, come on!

- Gotta go to the bathroom!

Goddammit!

Can't a brother catch a break?

Okay, hold on...

Have some cereal,

I'll be right back.

You were awful tonight.

So bad.

Shut the f*** up!

Okay. Guys, seriously.

This girl...

is so far out of my league

I have no idea how the f***

I got her back here.

P*ssy.

If I'm a p*ssy, I'm about to

have the best lesbian sex

of my entire life!

So I'm asking you all to

not f*** this up for me.

Hi.

Hi.

Samuel? Is that you, Samuel?

Uh... No.

Samuel, the kids don't

come by anymore.

And Margaret's impossible!

I think you have me confused

with someone else.

I miss you.

I have trouble sleeping without you.

Uh... Me, too.

Sadie, I'm pretty sure that

that's not Margaret either.

Sorry if the natives are bothering you.

What can I do you for?

Um... I'm here to see Dutch Solomon.

Oh, he's probably napping.

So. Where are you from, originally?

Rhode Island.

I work at the university.

I love how you say that, like

there's only one in town.

Hey. You lay off my grandson.

What, you cock-blocking me,

old man?

He's here to humor his elder,

not flirt with the help.

He can make up his own mind.

- What's your name, soldier?

- Uh, Dan.

Dan the Man. I'm Steph.

Hey, Steph.

Ooh. No Timer. Yawn.

I told you I was

looking out for you, angel.

I know your type.

Come on, Daniel. This Scrabble

game won't play itself.

- Nice meeting you.

- Likewise.

Oh, you're up.

You're an ass.

Now you can tell me where

you went last night?

Oh, my god!

Tell me what you did or

I'm gonna pee on your bed!

I met this guy...

Timer?

Mm-hm.

How long?

Four months, and some change.

Hot!

The closer they get to D-Day

the more inclined they are to

throw you around a little bit.

It was so hot. It was just so...

unbelievably hot!

He kisses like, um...

Uh, I don't even know.

And he has really big hands!

I'm so proud of you.

Seriously, Oona.

You've finally got laid proper.

See? One night stands.

That's what it's all about.

Yeah, though, I don't really

know if I'd classify it as a

"one night stand" though.

Uh, well, you're not gonna

see him again, right?

Oona?

Even if your mismatched Timers

weren't a recipe for disaster,

he's not gonna want a repeat

of last night, they never do.

But! It was fun, right?

Yeah, no, it was so fun.

Fun.

You want animal pancakes?

Uh, when do I not

want animal pancakes?

- Ten.

- Ten.

- Nine.

- Nine.

- Eight.

- Eight.

- Seven.

- Seven.

- Six.

- Six. Come on, Jess.

- Five.

- Five.

- Four.

- Four.

- Three.

- Three.

- Two.

- Two.

- One.

- One.

Midnight!

The next time it makes that noise

is when you make eye contact

with your One.

But it'll be much louder.

Scared the sh*t out of me.

Be ready.

- Can I go to bed now?

- Honey...

How can you sleep?

This is better than Christmas!

Sometime in the next 24 hours

You are gonna meet the girl

that you will spend the

rest of your life with!

Yeah.

With his large hands the color

of Madeleine's afternoon tea

Mowgli encircled her tiny waist.

Her inhibitions melted.

"Oh Mowgli, missionary work is

so much harder than I imagined."

She quickly discovered it

wasn't all that was hard...

Oops! Naughty bits.

Oona? How did it go with Guy?

It's okay.

I don't really think

there's much there.

Well, you can't be sure

until he gets his Timer.

No stone unturned, sweetheart.

Okay, Mom.

Girls, you don't realize

how lucky you are.

Your generation has been spared

the emotional carnage of divorce.

The soul-crushing pain of

unreciprocated infatuation.

The humiliation. Not to mention

possible venereal fallout

of reckless promiscuity.

It used to be so awful.

What a mess.

We are so lucky that

since your Mom died, Steph,

and my disastrous marriage.

Paul and I found each other.

How perfect is our family?

- Perfect.

- Perfecto.

And don't you two feel like

you were meant to be sisters?

- Yes

- Yes

And it's all thanks to the Timer.

Jesse!

Jesse! Is that her?

- I gotta go.

- Bye.

Excellent, Marion,

now spit on your hand and go

wipe something off his face.

That's not her.

So?

Did it happen?

No.

What's wrong with an impromptu

pizza night with Sheila's girls?

Yeah. Some snacks, an arranged marriage.

I'm just saying it's not up

to you to orchestrate this.

Luz. Are you leaving?

Si, Mrs. Marion, ya me voy.

Hola, Eduardo.

Oh, is that your daughter?

Si, es mi hija.

Soledad! Por favor.

Saludale.

Hello Mrs. DePaul. I'm Soledad.

It's nice to meet you.

She's lovely, Luz.

This is my daughter, Oona, and

my stepdaughter, Steph.

And this is Jesse.

Well!

Eduardo!

This is terrific!

Isn't this terrific, Jesse?

Here she is!

Hi.

Que paso?

Sono la cosa.

- Con el?

- Ya el sound Timer.

- Esta luz segura que...

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