Tomcats Page #6

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Got to find something to put this in.

Where'd it go? Where'd you go?

Where'd you...

...go?

You can't be in here.

Hold the sticky buns. Give me these.

- Stand in Line.

- Give them to me.

You have to...

...stand...

...in...

...Line!

Doctor!

Do not eat that!

Did you get it?

Yep. I got it.

Wow. So that's what a nut looks like?

That's a nut.

Thanks, Mike. You're a lifesaver.

I appreciate it.

Remember our deal, banging every girl

in the world? That's on you now, pal.

I'll get right on that.

Call me.

Don't get too comfortable.

You have got to wait your turn.

Hurry up, Michael, I'm next.

- Give me a couple of minutes of rest.

- Kyle doesn't take this Long.

Two, three minutes

and he's always done.

Hurry if you want to get every

woman in the world.

Please, Let me shut my eyes, for like,

literally 30 seconds...

...and then just a Little sandwich.

Michael. It's Carlos.

I know you got three days

and 14 hours to go...

...but since you've run out of sh*t

for me to take...

...l remind you,

if you don't pay, you die.

No problem. I'll have it.

You're as bad a liar as you are a

gambler, Mr. Delaney. See you Friday.

How's it going, man?

I'm just kidding, man.

I'm all better.

I'm fine.

I bring this everywhere I go.

Thanks to you.

Thanks for showing up today.

I really wanted you to be here.

Here for what?

You're busted, Mike.

Natalie told me what you did.

She what?

How you found her.

I can't believe it.

Kyle, I am so sorry.

You tracked her down after hearing

my story to see if we'd fit.

Who does that?

Thank you. You're the best, pal.

She tell you she's a cop?

That whole cosmetics counter thing?

That was an undercover gig.

Very clever.

Thank you.

You know what?

When death has Literally

got you by the balls...

...everything you've been afraid of

suddenly seems unimportant.

There are things that I can do now...

...that I never could do before.

For instance:

Officer Natalie Parker...

...I have been arrested

by your beauty.

And I'd love to serve

a Life sentence...

...in the jail of your heart.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Of course I'll marry you, Kyle.

I can't believe it. I've delivered

Natalie right into the devil's lair.

I finally feel I can have

something real with someone.

You know, something solid. Built on

trust. Like what you and Tricia have.

Now she's going to go off

and marry him.

Step up, man. Tell her how you feel.

Tell her you love her, you puss.

Have you been listening?

She loves Kyle.

Steve, it's so weird.

For the first time in my Life...

...someone else matters

more to me than...

...I matter to myself.

Well, you changed after all that sh*t

you went through.

I'm exercising. People change.

You know what?

Maybe Kyle has changed too.

All he went through.

Maybe he's a changed man now.

Oh, yeah, baby!

All right! Ooh, give it to me.

I'll be right back, baby.

What's up, having fun?

Calm down!

How rocking is this?

What's the matter? You're not having a

good time, buddy?

Get a load of some of these women.

They're amazing.

You see that one there? In the blue?

You wouldn't believe what she can do

with Ping-Pong balls.

It is showtime!

Come on, come on!

Mike, did you see this?

Yo, Cherry, come here! Come here,

Cherry.

Hey, sit down. This is Michael. And

she's a student.

Right now I'm concentrating on my

actressing.

Come over here, Cherry.

You sexy Little actress thing, you.

- How about we go in the bedroom?

- Can I bring a friend?

It's my bachelor party.

The more, the merrier.

Oh, hello there!

You're cool with this?

Everybody's entitled

to a Last hurrah.

You want to go in the bedroom

and start warming up without me?

I'll be there in a minute.

Thank you.

What do you mean, "Last hurrah"?

I just figure you're getting married

tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m.

You know, you're entitled one

Last dip in the bachelor pool.

You're funny. You're hysterical, man.

You're joking, right?

- I thought you loved her.

- love's got nothing to do with it.

Natalie will be a great baby-maker.

I could still sleep around.

She'll be at home with the kids.

She'll never know.

Hey, girls! What's up?

I thought you were going to go

warm up in bed without me.

You did it, man.

You won the bet, man!

You'll be rich.

Tomorrow morning at 9,

you're gonna be rich.

Rich!

No, Steve. No, I'm not.

I have got a wedding to stop!

I cannot believe you Let Kyle

plan this wedding.

It doesn't matter.

You're going through with this?

Hey. Look at me.

Do I Look amazing or what?

We're in luck. My uncle Murray's

performing the ceremonies.

He's my hero.

And the witnesses sign in triplicate.

That's three, tres, trois...

...and then...

...I stamp a Little, I notarize,

I file it.

Voil.

Can't you just feel the romance?

Oh, no. Oh, no!

No!

Where are my clothes?

Where are my clothes?!

Clothes. Where are my clothes?

Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am?

Excuse me, ma'am. Please get up.

Have you seen a pair of pants?

I'm gonna borrow your jacket, okay?

There we go.

Please. Okay. There we go. Okay.

Here we go.

I promise I'll return this, okay?

Slow down!

That was close.

I can't believe this. It's terrible.

Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.

Fur coat!

What are you--? Stop it!

Marriage is a state...

...that is not entered into easily.

It is damn hard, kids.

It requires dedication

and a lot of sacrifices.

Like for instance, if you have

a mother-in-Law...

...who figures she can stay over with

you whenever she damn pleases!

She comes in and stays in the toilet

for an hour and a half!

Who reads Warand Peace

in the toilet?!

Mommy!

I'm a good stranger. It's okay.

Hey, you! Stop!

I'm not weird. We were just talking.

Kyle, do you promise to make love

to Natalie...

...and only Natalie...

...until one of you is dead?

I wasn't Looking at you.

Don't do that.

Be advised, we're Looking

for a peeping Tom.

This guy is really twisted.

And do you, my handsome nephew...

...take Natalie to be your

lawful wedded wife...

...through the good times

and the bad times...

...and the times she won't talk

to you for months...

...and even worse, when she will...

...so you pretend you're asleep

so she'll leave you alone...

...but you Lie there Listening to her

grind her teeth...

...hour after hour...

...Like a f***ing hacksaw?

I made it.

Nice dress, bonehead!

Sorry. My mistake.

Stop the wedding!

I love you!

I thought you said you were

done with all that.

It's not Peter.

I don't even know who this guy is.

I'm curious, Mr. Delaney.

How did you get the money?

I guess you could say I sold my soul.

Yeah, I see a Lot of that.

Way to go. Marry the best woman in

the world and it's not enough for you.

What?

You're married?!

Thanks, a**hole.

You got something on your nose.

You were in on it together.

Take me for a ride.

What do you mean? You got it all!

Why'd you tap me on the nose?

You really don't know, do you?

On our wedding night.

I thought everything was fine.

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