Top Five Page #7

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He's scared I'm gonna need him.

No. He's scared

you're not going to need him.

It's staring you

right in the face, all right.

Every Planet of the Apes movie

is about race. Every one.

Okay, I'm assuming you're talking

about the trilogy

that starts off with Charlton Heston

frolicking naked with a black astronaut.

That typical sci-fi movie

that's about the future

and about how the human race

is out of control.

Yeah, it's about race,

but the human race.

No, no, no. It's about

the white man's fear of a black planet.

The darker apes

are bigger and stronger.

The lighter apes are smarter.

That's racist bullshit.

Do you realize

that the original Planet of the Apes

came out on April 3, 1968?

Now, we both know

what happened the next day.

Martin Luther King was killed.

Why don't you just jump in?

You're telling me that James Earl Ray

saw Planet of the Apes

and decided to shoot

Martin Luther King?

Perhaps.

It wasn't the fact

that he was organizing

the Poor People's March

on Washington...

- That, too.

- ...or criticizing

the war or our foreign policy.

What got him shot was talking apes!

Go, Hammy! Go, Hammy!

Go in!

Jump in already!

What I'm saying is,

it's not a coincidence

that a movie about niggas taking over

the world comes out the day before

the most powerful black man on earth

is assassinated.

It's not a coincidence. It's not.

You actually believe that.

Okay, you know what?

I will give it to you.

There are some subliminal messages

in that movie.

Yes, there are.

But you know what? It's just a movie.

It's never... It's never just a movie.

Yes, sometimes it's just a movie.

It's never just a song!

It's never just a book.

I don't care what Michelle Obama says.

I'm like, fry or die.

Give me some fries.

I thought you didn't want none.

Fry or die.

Now, do you always keep

hot sauce in your bag?

Yeah, I like my sh*t hot.

In my apartment, I keep a bottle

in every room, like smoke detectors.

Hammy! Hammy! Hammy! Hammy!

Jump in already!

Come on, hurry up!

Hey!

Bill Murray?

Bill Murray's like,

you know, perhaps top three

funniest human beings

to ever walk the earth.

And the guy you most likely

want to hang out with

and drop his name, like,

"Yeah, I know Bill Murray.

"I was just talking to Bill Murray

the other day."

- Charlie Chaplin?

- Charlie Chaplin.

He started this sh*t.

He's the KRS-One of comedy.

The KRS-One.

He's the Grandmaster Flash of ha-ha.

I don't think people

actually read Capote.

That's one of my tests to people.

I say that and they're like, "Yeah,

"you know, I really loved

Breakfast at Tiffany's."

And I'm like, "You haven't read

Truman Capote. Stop."

Bill Cosby is the greatest storyteller.

- Richard Pryor?

- Richard Pryor is like

the most honest human being.

Even Jesus

didn't tell his followers everything.

Like Rich...

Eddie Murphy.

I once saw Murphy and Michael Jackson

within two months of each other,

and Eddie was better.

- Love in the Time of Cholera.

- Yes, yes.

And he says, "Too much love

is as bad for this as no love at all."

That kind of broke my heart.

Yeah, I mean, it's hard to

f*** somebody on a pedestal.

- Beautiful. Taraji!

- Andre!

Gabby, over here!

- This way, Gabby!

- Hammy, this way!

Andre, over to the right.

Big smile, Gabby.

Married.

You're getting married, huh?

You couldn't tell me?

Can I get you two to smile?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Taraji, this way.

How can you keep your private life

separate from your public life

when you're going through

something this weekend

which combines the two?

Your upcoming marriage

is getting more press than this movie.

I mean, I'm watching,

like, television...

Everybody's talking about that.

Nobody's talking about this.

Can we talk about the movie?

What kind of ratings

do you think you're gonna get?

I was hoping for a little more comedy.

Okay, you got two minutes, everybody.

Two minutes.

Do you think they only wanna see you...

You maybe stereotyped yourself

and, you know,

that people don't wanna accept you

in a serious role?

We want to see you funny.

I already told you.

I ain't got time for your bullshit, Silk.

I'm seeing somebody.

Hey, no problem. Come on.

If you don't get the f*** out my face...

How do you think it went?

The press was all over the place.

I'm just glad they showed up.

I mean, honestly,

the most important thing right now

is that people come out

and see the movie.

You mean,

the most important thing isn't

the "Wedding Spectacular Spectacular"?

I did not say that.

Okay, so you don't wanna be funny.

Excuse me.

So, you don't wanna make

funny movies anymore.

And they don't want to take

your "serious" seriously.

I'm sorry.

So why not embrace

the wedding spectacle?

I'm a guy, come on.

I didn't grow up dreaming of a wedding.

There's no Grooms magazine.

They don't have a groomal registry.

Weddings aren't for guys.

I'm not talking about guys.

I'm talking about you.

Why don't you embrace it?

If you hate it so much,

why are you even doing it?

Erica helped me get clean.

I don't have time for this, Dre.

I'm not gonna be your audience.

"I'm not gonna be your audience"?

Audience to my bullshit.

If you don't have an audience,

it's hard to put on a show.

Brad?

Hey.

- Happy birthday. Oh, my God.

- Thank you.

How are you? I tried calling you all day.

I was so worried.

Yeah, yeah... No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I was just in meetings.

Hey, Andre Allen!

Hey! White Brad!

Happy birthday.

Thank you, man.

I cannot wait to see the movie.

I'm so glad somebody's

finally telling Boukman's story.

I mean, no one talks about

the Maroon slaves.

I know, they're so overlooked.

- It's crazy.

- It's crazy.

Okay, so what have you

been doing all day?

Well, it's my birthday.

You know, I've been treating myself.

Went uptown, did a little shopping,

didn't find anything.

What are you doing here?

I just was, like, going to check out

the gift shop. 'Cause you never know...

Is that Ryan?

Yeah, Ryan's here.

Hey, Ryan!

Ryan, look who I ran into.

Hey, Chelsea. How's it going, guys?

I'm also here because Ryan,

was just showing me the lounge here

because he knows

the manager of the hotel

and he's thinking maybe

I could be spinning here soon, so...

And that's why you couldn't contact me?

My phone is, like, going nuts lately.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm changing plans.

Is he wearing the shirt

that I bought you?

I have to go.

Look, I was gonna call you, okay?

How much longer are you guys

gonna be doing this thing?

I think you should go after him.

Look, it's Hammy!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, you okay?

Yeah. No.

I'm...

I'm going to call my sponsor, okay?

I'm sorry.

Just because he had a room key

and was wearing a shirt

you bought Brad,

that doesn't mean anything.

I mean, guys trade clothes

in hotel rooms all the time.

Maybe it was chilly,

you know what I mean?

Maybe they called up each other...

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