Topsy-Turvy Page #12
Good night, girls! | I don't want to be late for supper.
Oh, Bunny, you look charming!
It's a fine comic song. | He sings it splendidly.
Does the paying audience | not deserve to hear it?
I agree, Walter. They do.
Rotten luck for poor old Temple.
- I'm not convinced it's an immortal song. | - Nobody said it was, Mr Lewis!
It's not the Holy Grail!
Despite your reservations | about the song...
...you must concede | it is an original performance.
He should have cut | one of Grossmith's songs.
- Mr Grossmith is poorly. | - Then he should have stayed at home.
I think it's a misjudgement. | Someone should tell him.
- Tell who? | - Gilbert.
- He's only a man, like the rest of us.
He's not the devil incarnate.
He scares the living daylights out of me.
- What about us? | - Beg pardon, Price?
- Why can't "we" speak to Mr Gilbert?
Well, we could all go together.
There's no reason why we shouldn't.
Is there?
Tell a man you admire his lyrics, | he can only be gratified.
It's a splendid notion, Mr Price.
Well, here's food for thought.
Gentlemen, I have been a chorister | in this company for 28 seasons.
It is my intention to remain one | for at least another 28.
- I'm sure you shall. | - Be very careful, Mr Price.
You must consider yourself...
...and your position.
This is tantamount | to professional suicide.
Oh, WJ, that is a little excessive...
Gentlemen, let us repair | to The Coal Hole in the Strand.
Don't be long, chaps.
- Good night, gentlemen. | - Good night.
- Take heart. | - You'll be wonderful.
Quite so.
Is that not right, wee Durward?
Ach, he'll be grand, Helen.
This has taken us all quite by surprise.
And we all know Mr Gilbert.
- I'd have thought it was a fine song. | - It is.
Thank you.
Is there anything | we can arrange for you, Mr Temple?
No, thank you, Miss Lenoir.
I'll be fine.
It's very late. Congratulations, Lely.
- First class. | - Ach, no. Did you think so?
- Oh, yes. | - Better and better.
Thank you. "Grazie. Grazie."
- The Beefsteak? | - I'm ravenous.
- Gentlemen, good night. | - Good night.
- Good night, Butt! | - Good night.
Dickie! "Courage."
Well, there you have it, Dickie.
He's an absolute bastard.
I knew something of this order | would happen.
I sensed it, I told you so!
This really is unconscionably cruel.
You've missed your last train, Dickie.
It's too late to telegraph | the Mrs Temple now.
What'll you do?
I suppose I shall toddle across the river | to my mother's. She never sleeps.
There's g'aye few like us...
...and they're all dead.
My father used to say that.
Laughter.
Tears.
Curtain.
- Good afternoon, Bovill. | - Good afternoon, Mr Gilbert.
- Good afternoon. | - Good afternoon, Miss Russell.
Good afternoon, Rhys... Good heavens!
- Afternoon, Mr Gilbert. | - Good afternoon.
- Might you, er... spare us a moment? | - Of course, we're here to rehearse!
- Please, Mr Gilbert, sir. | - Yes, Price, what is it?
- We, er... | - Hmm?!
The... ladies and gentlemen | of the chorus...
Yes?
Concerning Mr Temple's song, sir.
Ah, the Mikado's song.
Yes, sir.
What of that mercifully | released aberration?
- We all consider it... a very fine song, sir. | - Indeed we do.
Gratifying, I'm sure.
That must be a matter of opinion, | mustn't it, Price?
Well, yes, Mr Gilbert, | but we believe it a great loss.
- Do you? | - Yes, sir.
Especially after all our | extremely hard work.
And, of course, Mr Temple.
I'm really very sorry for you, | but as we all know, it's an unjust world.
We all feel it would have been | of great benefit to the opera.
And that perhaps | the audience should decide.
Is this the considered opinion of you all?
It is, sir.
- I am not party to this, Mr Gilbert. | - Ah, Mr Kent.
As ever, the sole voice of reason.
Temple, what do you make | of this occurrence?
I do beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert.
But I have absolutely no idea | what is taking place.
There has been a request | that your song be reinstated.
Ah.
Ah.
A most forceful request, I have to say.
Afternoon!
Do clear the way.
Oh. I beg your pardon, sir.
This is surprising indeed, | ladies and gentlemen.
And somewhat overwhelming.
Temple. Would you be prepared to sing | the song at this evening's performance?
Yes, sir. I would.
Then please be so good as to do so.
- Hip-hip...
- Hooray! | - Rehearsals in five minutes.
Seymour, where's D'Auban?
- Congratulations, Temple. | - Thank you, good chappie.
Right you are, Pidgeon! | Come along! Make haste!
- Sir, it's seven o'clock, sir. | - Ah, there you are, Willie.
Willie! Willie!!
The carriage is waiting, sir.
Sir!
- Out of my way, Pidgeon! | - I do apologise, sir.
Willie! We must be leaving!
We don't want to be late.
- You look beautiful, madam. | - Oh, thank you, Mrs Judd.
Oh, it's most pleasant to be appreciated.
Don't worry, madam.
- Good evening, Cook. | - Evening, sir.
- Come in!
- GG! | - Arthur!
- Your very good health. | - Yours too, Arthur.
- Splendid piece. | - Thank you.
We shall both be splendid tonight.
Too many words.
- I thought I'd just pop in. | - Much appreciated.
So very frightened of losing...
One had to stay by the door, | don't you know?
- I beg your pardon? | - 50 per week isn't too much to ask.
Behaves more like a man than a woman.
GG.
- Try to remember to breathe properly. | - Yes, yes, yes.
This year... next year.
Too much noise.
George. Shall we fetch you a doctor?
I know doctors!
Coming in here, | picking and fussing over one!
Magnetising the children.
We shall have a great triumph, you know.
What is the time, by the way?
A quarter past. | The dreaded hour approaches.
Now...
Take a deep breath.
Very good.
- Who is it? | - Gilbert.
Do come in, Mr Gilbert.
- A brief intrusion. | - How are you, Mr Gilbert?
As well as any condemned man | can expect.
- How are you, ladies? | - Oh, a little anxious, Mr Gilbert.
You have every right to be anxious | under the circumstances.
I don't suppose | you'll be with us this evening.
Indeed not. Why on earth | should I consort with the foe?
Oh, but I'm quite sure | we shall have a great success, Mr Gilbert.
I wish I possessed your confidence.
Well, Jessie!
Bonne chance!
- Thank you. | - And you, tortoise.
Thank you, Mr Gilbert.
Very good.
I shall put on my kimono now, | please, Emily.
Oh! Very well, Miss Braham.
- Good evening, Cook. | - Sir.
- Is Mr Grossmith respectable? | - I'm afraid not, sir.
- We'll return later, George. | - Oh, thank you.
- Good evening. | - Sir.
No, Cookie!
- Gilbert! | - I beg your pardon, sir.
May I come in?
I'm in my birthday suit.
- Ah. Are we not receiving? | - No, sir.
Good luck, Grossmith! | And be careful with the sword.
Righto!
- Walk, boy! | - Yes, sir.
Permission, Mr Cook.
Permission withheld, sir. On your way.
Thank you, sir. Good luck, sir.
Five minutes, sir.
# Miya sama, miya sama
# On n'm-ma no maye ni
# Pira-Pira suru no wa
# Nan gia na
# Toko tonyare tonyare na?
# Miya sama, miya sama
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"Topsy-Turvy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 2 Feb. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/topsy-turvy_22105>.
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