Topsy-Turvy Page #13
# On n'm-ma no maye ni
# Pira-Pira suru no wa
# Nan gia na
# Toko tonyare tonyare na?
# From every kind of man
# Obedience I expect
# I'm the Emperor of Japan
# And I'm his daughter-in-law elect
# He'll marry his son
# He's only got one
# To his daughter-in-law elect
# My morals have been declared
# Particularly correct
# But they're nothing at all
# Compared with those | of his daughter-in-law elect
# Bow!
# Bow
# To his daughter-in-law elect
# Bow! Bow!
# To his daughter-in-law elect
# In a fatherly kind of way
# I govern each tribe and sect
# All cheerfully own my sway
# Except his daughter-in-law elect
# As tough as a bone
# With a will of her own
# Is his daughter-in-law elect
# My nature is love and light
# My freedom from all defect
# Is insignificant quite
# Compared with his daughter-in-law elect
# Bow! Bow!
# To his daughter-in-law elect
# Bow! Bow!
# To his daughter-in-law elect
# A more humane Mikado never
# Did in Japan exist
- Get off! | - Be good, be good.
- What are you do...? | - I'm good, I'm good.
- Get your hands off me! | - Oh, don't rub your smell off on me!
You stinking b*tch! | Just let me go, you cow!
- Oh, you're a lovely big boy! | - Don't touch me!
Who made the world, arsehole?!
# The criminal cried | as he dropped him down
# In a state of wild alarm
# With a frightful frantic fearful frown
# I seized him by his little pigtail
# And on his knees
# Fell he
# As he squirmed and struggled | and gurgled and guggled
# I drew my snickersnee
# My snickersnee
# Never shall I forget the cry
# Or the shriek that shriek-ed he
# As I gnashed my teeth | when from its sheath
# I drew my snickersnee
# We know him well
# He cannot tell
# Untrue or groundless tales
# He always tries to utter lies
# And every time he fails
# He shivered and shook | as he gave the sign
# For the stroke he didn't deserve
# When all of a sudden
# His eye met mine
# And it seemed to brace his nerve
# For he nodded his head
# And kissed his hand
# And he whistled an air, did he
# As the sabre true
# Cut cleanly through
# His cervical vertebrae
# His vertebrae
# When a man's afraid
# A beautiful maid
# Is a cheering sight to see
# And it's oh, I'm glad
# That moment sad
# Her terrible tale
# You can't assail
# With truth it quite agrees
# Her taste exact
# For faultless fact
# Amounts to a disease
# Now though you'd have said
# That head was dead
# For its owner dead was he
# It stood on its neck
# With a smile well-bred
# And bowed three times to me!
# It was none of | your impudent offhand nods
# But as humble as could be
# For it clearly knew
# The deference due
# To a man of pedigree
# Of pedigree
# And it's oh, I vow
# This deathly bow
# Was a touching sight to see
# Though trunkless yet
# It couldn't forget
# The deference due to me
# This haughty youth
# He speaks the truth
# And in this case
# It all took place
# Exactly as he says
# Exactly, exactly, exactly
# Exactly as he says
- # For he's gone and married Yum-Yum | - # Yum-Yum
# Your anger pray bury | for all will be merry
- # I think you had better succumb | - # Cumb-cumb
# And join our expressions of glee
- # On this subject I pray you be dumb | - # Dumb-dumb
# Your notions, though many | are not worth a penny
- # The word for your guidance is mum | - # Mum-mum
# You've a very good bargain in me
# On this subject we pray | you be dumb, dumb-dumb
# We think you had better | succumb, cumb-cumb
# You'll find there are many
# Who'll wed for a penny, | who'll wed for a penny
# There are lots of good fish in the sea
# There are lots of good fish in the sea
# There's lots of good fish, | good fish in the sea
# There's lots of good fish, | good fish in the sea
# In the sea, in the sea, in the sea
# The threatened cloud has passed away
# And fairly shines the dawning day
# What though the night | may come too soon
# We've years and years of afternoon
# Then let the throng our joy advance
# With laughing song and merry dance
# Then let the throng our joy advance
# With laughing song and merry dance
# With laughing song and merry dance
# With laughing song
# With joyous shout
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
# Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
# Inaugurate their new career
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
# Inaugurate their new career
# With laughing song and merry dance
# With laughing song and merry dance
# With song
# And dance
Pish, Peep!
Mikado!
Ah!
- How bad was it? | - Utterly dreadful. A joke! I jest!
- And Grossmith? | - A lamentable spectacle.
- Are you ready, Gilbert? | - Ready for what?
The gibbet?
And... full company!
Ladies and gentlemen, bow!
Thank you very much.
There's something inherently | disappointing about success.
Climax and anticlimax, Willie.
I don't quite know how to take praise.
It makes my eyes red.
It must be rather pleasant | to receive it, nonetheless.
I suppose so... | if one feels one deserves it.
I don't think anyone would deny | that you deserve it, Willie.
I know my limitations.
I should rather like to be an actor, | upon the stage.
- An actor? | - Yes.
Wouldn't it be wondrous | if perfectly commonplace people...
...gave each other a round of applause | at the end of the day?
Well done, Kitty! Well done!
Well done, Kitty! Bravo! Encore!
Thank you, Willie.
- Well, you must be tired. | - Must I?
I shall leave you to your beauty sleep.
No, don't go.
Any thoughts racing round | in that old brain of yours?
Thoughts of what nature?
Concerning your next piece.
Ah! That monster.
No, not as yet.
Perhaps you should do something | completely different and unusual.
- Such as what? | - Oh, well, I don't know!
Come along, suggest something!
Oh...
Well, you should have | a young and beautiful heroine...
...who grows old and plain.
As she gradually becomes | older and older...
...the ladies' chorus | becomes younger and younger.
Ah. Topsy-Turvy.
Yes.
How would it commence, | this comic opera of yours?
With the gentlemen's chorus, of course.
A chorus of fat leeches.
- Leeches? | - Yes!
No, they'd be gentlemen.
They'd be in their carriages | and they'd be rushing across the stage.
The horses would be | galloping across the stage...
...with the ladies chasing after them | to talk to them...
...but they wouldn't be listening, | they'd be far too busy.
Hmm.
Expensive to stage.
And there'd be dozens of doors...
...and ticking clocks on the stage.
He's made a vow to give her the key...
...but he never does.
Who might "he" be?
Well, he's her husband, I suppose.
The hero.
No, not the hero.
Anyway.
One day...
No.
Late one night...
...she suddenly decides to try the door...
...and it opens!
Ah. So it wasn't locked after all.
And she climbs up the stairs...
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"Topsy-Turvy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 2 Feb. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/topsy-turvy_22105>.
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