Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day Page #6

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They have dope in Cuba.

They don't. It's Communist country.

Randy!

Just f*** off with the ''Randys''!

Hey, guys!

Off the deck, please. Off the deck.

Okay.

Julian, right?

Yeah.

Your car was reported stolen

last night. And we found it.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, it was incinerated.

At 4 a.m., under the bridge.

F***! What were you

doing this morning?

I was paintin' a car last night

in there.

Anybody working with you

who could verify that?

No.

Well, so far,

Julian's gotten away with it.

You know...

he's a person of interest though,

in the arson of his own car.

They're investigating him.

I appreciate what he was trying to do.

It was a nice thing, but...

F***!

Hey, Bubs!

Hey, Mr. Lahey!

The job of Garden Manager comes

with deluxe accommodation, Bubbles.

The salary starts at 16.5,

with full pension benefits.

Guaranteed, it's an awful lot easier

than say...

working at a body shop for a living.

Spent a lot of time

setting this up.

Very well-appointed kitchen.

Extremely comfortable bed, and...

full shower,

once we get the sewer hooked up.

So... did Julian mention anything to you

about anything?

No, not really. I mean, he's

pretty busy with Success Auto Body.

How's that going?

Good!

Hey, Chris! What's up, man!

What's up, Ricky?

Can I park here?

Small tokes, man.

This stuff's f***ing potent.

Thanks, man.

Ricky.

Jail Outreach. Grade 12.

Yeah, cameras.

You gotta do the whole searchy.

I'm telling you right now:

I got something on me.

Yeah. Just a bit of green.

I tell you, man.

I don't plan on coming back here,

but if I do,

I just want you to put that away.

You smoke just as much as I do.

Yeah, I'll just give you

a couple of those.

Thanks, man.

Want to boost me up

so I can hide this somewhere?

Okay, cool.

So, this must be the...

the recording device. Is it?

Yeah.

Nice.

Hey, buddy!

Yo! Yo! What's going on, T?

What's going on with you, man?

Yeah! Je-ah! How are you feeling?

I'm just working, man!

Let me ''aks'' you something

real quick, dog.

Anyone all up in your eyes

about that arson bullshit?

No, man.

Ain't nobody talk to me, man.

You shook?

I didn't shook, man.

Julian didn't shook. I didn't shook.

Well, I didn't shook.

I don't shook about nothing in my life

right now, dog.

I'm livin' large, man.

Record label comin'

to my show tonight, boy.

Man, don't even talk to me about that

record label sh*t, man.

You're always...

Don't suck your teeth at me, man.

Don't suck your teeth at me!

Don't suck your teeth at me!

Don't give me no reason to suck them

and I won't suck them!

Once he realizes not to

suck his teeth at me, you know,

we can have a nice conversation,

and be boys and stuff.

But it could have got really ugly.

And I don't like it when motherfuckers

suck their teeth at me, man!

So don't be sucking your teeth at me.

I don't like sucking them.

you know what I mean?

When I sucked them. I was like...

''T, man! Where'd you go, dog?''

I don't even recognize

that motherf***er no more.

'Cause we had a dream, the 2 of us.

Now, he's talking about how he doesn't

believe in the dream no more.

Now suddenly. I'm one motherf***er

having to believe

in the whole dream by myself.

It was more dope when it was

'cause it was only 50% of the dream

each of us was responsible for.

Whatever happened to the 2 of us?

You know what happened, man.

Big change.

What happened? Where did you go?

Big change, big things.

Where are you at?

Big change, go on.

Go on to your oil change.

Can I get you another wine cooler?

Sure!

No more wine coolers.

Do you want a tall boy?

You drank all my wine coolers?

There was only a couple left, Randy.

For f***'s sakes!

We're having a couple of problems,

you and I.

No sh*t!

Yeah. I want you to tell me something.

Tell me what the f***

you got in this bag.

What? Start talking.

It's old stuff.

I don't even do that anymore.

Listen, if you're gonna be

so goddamn nosy,

why don't you explain why you're hiding

pictures of Julian in your shaving kit.

I don't hide pictures of Julian

in the washroom.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You promised me you were never

gonna go on the street again.

And I haven't! You promised me

you weren't gonna drink again.

And you are!

Beer or wine coolers is not drinking,

Randy.

It is drinking! I think you've been

lying to me all along.

We agreed. No more man-whoring.

You're the liar.

You're out of your goddamn mind!

You turned real tough

ever since Ricky shaved your head,

did you.

If you go on the hard liquor again,

I'm out of here.

Are you ready, Bubs?

Moment of truth.

F***, I get nervous about things

like this.

I hope we've wired it right.

Well, if we didn't, we'll just fix it.

Nice work!

Yeah! Yes!

Hang on, they're smoking a bit.

It's just the foil.

It'll smoke for about an hour.

How's it going, boys?

F***ing incredible.

How did you do on your test, man?

You know what, Julian?

I think I f***ing aced it.

No way!

Yeah!

Congrats, man!

Good job!

Check this sh*t out, boys!

I think you're onto something good.

Dope is success.

You don't need business plans or charts

or pictures or any of that bullshit.

You hiring?

What, you'd actually come work for me?

If that means getting his cats back,

yeah, I'll help out.

Well, I got no problem with that,

but I'm in charge.

This is my thing.

You're the boss, bud.

Julian, look at them.

Think of the money we can make

going door to door selling these things.

Who the f*** is that coming?

F***, it's Lahey.

He's in the fuckmobile, boys.

Howdy, guys!

Guess who's back

on the liquor...

F***. I'm sorry, Jim.

I thought you were the garbage.

What the f*** do you want?

Actually, Ricky,

I was just driving around,

looking for someone to be my friend.

Looking for friends, are you?

So, who do we got tonight?

Friendly Lahey out for a couple

of drinks...

or Fucky. The Drunk Clown?

Ricky, you never know...

when the circus is gonna come to town.

You better stand back, buddy.

You f***ing drunk prick!

I should've f***ing known it.

Why is it that every f***ing thing

I try to do always gets cocked up?

I probably don't need

to point this out,

but we have another massive failure

on our hands.

Goddamnit!

F*** this bullshit!

We're going to the animal shelter,

and we're breaking my cats out tonight.

I got this planned out,

so get suited up, we're doing this.

And don't argue with me.

But I can't...

Don't do it!

Why do we have to f***ing back in?

'Cause I'm in charge, Ricky.

And I want us to pull in the right way

to make a getaway. Okay, boys.

Now listen. Stick to the plan

and it should go off without a hitch.

All right? This is a McMillan 383.

I researched this.

Now the excess magnetization

from a hotel card...

coupled with the reverse polarity

of a high interest rate credit card,

should allow a Nova Scotia health card

modified to...

Come on, baby. Ching, f*** it!

Come on, boys. Okay, now wedge

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