Trainwreck Page #4

GORDON:

After seven o’clock, after dinner

it turns into Caligula around here,

trust me. It’s a madhouse. Like

the Playboy Mansion for Chrissakes.

AMY:

This place?

GORDON:

Yes. You got my Mets stuff?

AMY:

Yeah.

GORDON:

Amy?

AMY:

I’ll bring it by.

GORDON:

Amy? Look at me. Amy.

AMY:

Kim made me throw a lot of it away.

GORDON:

Kim made you. Your little sister.

AMY:

She’s mean as a dog.

25.

GORDON:

Jesus.

AMY:

I tried. I’m so sorry.

GORDON:

What do I care, it’s all

memorabilia? I’m memorabilia at

this point.

AMY:

Don't say that.

INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION - DAY

Amy walks through the lobby.

INT. DOCTORS OFFICE - DAY

Amy knocks on the door. DR. AARON CONNERS is at his desk.

AMY:

Dr. Conners?

AARON:

Hi.

AMY:

Hi. Amy Townsend.

AARON:

Great to meet you.

AMY:

Thank you so much for letting me

come in.

Amy sits across from Aaron in his office.

AARON:

How does this work?

AMY:

Today’s really just to go over

schedules.

AARON:

Oh ok.

AMY:

If that’s cool.

26.

AARON:

Yeah. That’s great. I have neverbeen interviewed for a magazine.

LEBRON JAMES pops his head in while knocking.

LEBRON JAMES:

Hey..

AARON:

Hey Lebron.

LEBRON:

Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.

Did I leave my sunglasses here?

AARON:

I don’t know. Did you?

LEBRON JAMES:

I was sitting...

LeBron spots them.

LEBRON JAMES (CONT’D)

Here they are.

He grabs his glasses off the couch.

AARON:

Did you just drive forty minutesback here to look for yoursunglasses?

LEBRON JAMES:

Yeah, of course. You think I’m

gonna give Sunglass Hut another

thirty dollars for these? Youcrazy? Hey, how you doing?

AMY:

Hi.

AARON:

Your watch costs more than my

apartment.

LEBRON JAMES:

This? This was a gift. We watching“Downton Abbey” later?

27.

AARON:

If I get out of here on time, yeahwe could watch it. If not let’s do

it tomorrow.

LEBRON JAMES:

What? Listen I’m watching ittonight. Cause I’m not going topractice in the morning and all theguys are talking about it and I’mleft out.

AARON:

Do what you got to do.

LEBRON JAMES:

Can you validate my parking please?

AARON:

I don’t validate. You should talk

to Cheryl.

Aaron points to the reception area.

LEBRON JAMES:

Ok, take care. Nice meeting you.

LeBron exits.

AARON:

Bye Lebron. Thanks buddy.

LEBRON JAMES (O.C.)

Cheryl, can you validate my parkingplease?

AMY:

Tall.

AARON:

Yeah I know, right? Did you knowwho that was?

AMY:

Yeah I know, he’s a basketball

player.

AARON:

He’s Lebron James. He’s kind of

like “the” basketball player.

AMY:

Oh yeah I think I saw one of hissoda commercials.

28.

AARON:

You follow sports?

AMY:

Oh my God, sports. I love them.

AARON:

Who’re your favorite teams?

AMY:

The, uh, I like smaller teams, like

not the big leagues. Like the LongIsland... Mediums. The Acorn...

Pinecones.

AARON:

I haven’t heard of them.

AMY:

The Fire Island Penguins. I likethe Cincinnati Thunderwizards.

AARON:

You can stop.

AMY:

The Orlando... Blooms.

AARON:

You can stop. You don’t follow

sports.

AMY:

I’m sorry, I don’t. I don’t knowanything about sports.

AARON:

That’s okay. I didn’t really followsports either until I got into thisfield, to be honest.

AMY:

Really? Oh my God you have no ideawhat a huge relief that is. I wasassigned this, this was not even mypitch.

AARON:

Right, so you’re doing the articleon me?

AMY:

Uh huh.

29.

AARON:

Awesome.

AMY:

I think they’re just kind of weirdand strange. Grown men, wearingjerseys with another man’s name onit. Like are you in jail? Are youhis b*tch?

Aaron points a framed jersey on his wall.

AARON:

Kind of like that one?

AMY:

That’s different because it’s in a

frame.

AARON:

I think sports brings peopletogether and forms a community.

AMY:

That’s what I was saying.

AARON:

Obviously. I’ll tell you anotherthing that’s great about this jobis that I work with a lot of

athletes, which means I work with a

lot of...

Amy looks around. Lots of pictures of him and black athletes.

AMY:

... Black people?

AARON:

Injuries. What did you just say?

Did you say black people?

AMY:

No.

AARON:

Do you have a problem with blackpeople?

AMY:

No, I love black people. I preferblack people.

30.

AARON:

Do you have black friends?

AMY:

Endless black friends.

AARON:

Can you show me pictures of yourblack friends on your phone?

AMY:

You wanna see pictures on my phoneof my black friends?

AARON:

You gotta have a lot of them.

AMY:

I have so many. I’m just decidingwhich one because there’s so many.

Here we go.

AARON:

Great let’s see.

AMY:

You’re gonna be eating your words.

You ready?

AARON:

I’m ready.

AMY:

OK. Black friend.

AARON:

That is you and a white friend andthat is a waiter. Pouring your

water.

AMY:

Let me find another one, oh wait myphone died. Alright, well, I’ll

just let you go back to doctoring.

AARON:

Great.

AMY:

I’ll talk to your...

AARON:

Cheryl.

31.

AMY:

Cheryl, about when we can meetagain.

AARON:

Great.

INT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT

On screen:
title sequence of a Noah Baumbach-y black and

white indie movie. Daniel Radcliffe in The Dogwalker. DANIEL

is walking eight dogs, leashes clipped to a dogwalker belt.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

No we’re not going into the park.

Amy approaches Steven who is sitting in the theater.

AMY:

Sorry I’m late.

STEVEN:

No, that’s ok.

AMY:

What is the movie?

STEVEN:

Daniel Radcliffe is a dog-walker.

But he’s got a chip on hisshoulder. A real edge. Sundanceloved it.

On screen:

MARISA TOMEI:

What’s your technique?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

I put them on a leash and walkthem.

Amy pulls out a small box of wine and takes a swig.

STEVEN:

Amy.

AMY:

What’s up?

STEVEN:

Is that wine in a box?

32.

AMY:

I have a red too.

GUY IN THEATER:

Is this guy ever gonna shut up?

AMY:

Please watch the movie.

STEVEN:

Stop, that’s not right don’t dothis to me.

AMY:

What? Why’s he yelling?

STEVEN:

You always do this to me. You showup at places, and I’m a big guy,

everyone wants to fight the big

guy.

GUY IN THEATER:

Hey, Mark Wahlberg, shut your b*tch

up.

STEVEN:

Mark Wahlberg? Me?

GUY IN THEATER:

Who else looks like Mark Wahlberg?

Your girl?

STEVEN:

Mark Wahlberg’s like a hundred and

fifty pounds. I’m two hundred andfifty lean. I look like MarkWahlberg ate Mark Wahlberg.

GUY IN THEATER:

Your muscles aren’t the fuckingproblem. It’s your yappinggirlfriend.

AMY:

Just say f*** you.

STEVEN:

I will f*** you. Alright? I will

enter you.

GUY IN THEATER:

You’re gonna enter me? Did you hear

what he said?

33.

AMY:

What are you talking about rightnow?

STEVEN:

I’m just trying to intimidate him.

AMY:

You’re just talking about rapinghim.

GUY IN THEATER:

You’re not about that life champ. Ican see it.

STEVEN:

I am about that life.

GUY IN THEATER:

No you’re not.

STEVEN:

No I am about that life. You like

movies? I will make a movie. We’ll

make Momma Said Knock You Out

starring my fist and your dickhole.

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes