Trainwreck Page #8

AARON:

Again I feel like that applies moreto you. I don’t even live inCleveland. But I appreciate thethought.

LEBRON JAMES:

Cleveland, Ohio? Home of the Rock n

Roll Hall of Fame? Or maybe we godown to Canton to the Pro Football

Hall of Fame. You know Superman wascreated in Cleveland.

AARON:

Yes I know. You told me that

several times.

LEBRON JAMES:

Did you ever see a Cuyahoga sunset?

AARON:

No.

LEBRON JAMES:

Did you know Cleveland’s great forthe whole family?

AARON:

Yes, I do. You tell me that all the

time. You randomly text me that.

59.

LEBRON JAMES:

What’s wrong with that? I’ve gotfree texting.

AARON:

It’s weird. Why are you alwaystrying to sell me on Cleveland?

LEBRON JAMES:

When are you gonna come to

Cleveland?

AARON:

I’ll come when I have time. I don’t

have the time right now. I’m justreally busy.

LEBRON JAMES:

You visited me in Miami all the

time.

AARON:

Yeah but that’s Miami.

LEBRON JAMES:

What’s the difference between Miami

and Cleveland? It’s the same.

AARON:

You’re right it’s the same.

LEBRON JAMES:

Exactly.

LeBron looks at the bill.

LEBRON JAMES (CONT’D)

Okay you had the salmon. Fourteendollars.

AARON:

What are you doing man?

LEBRON JAMES:

Two Cokes.

AARON:

Are you trying to split the bill?

LEBRON JAMES:

I told you the refills weren’tfree.

60.

AARON:

We’re not splitting the bill. Justpick up the check.

LEBRON JAMES:

Why do I have to pick up the check?

AARON:

Because you’re Lebron James.

LEBRON JAMES:

Don’t look at me different justcause I got a little money. I don’thow long this could last. Anythingcould happen. I’m not gonna end up

like MC Hammer. You owe thirty twodollars and forty three cents.

AARON:

I’ll pay for it. But you’ve got topick up a check every once in awhile.

LEBRON JAMES:

No. Just pay your part. It’s betterfor our friendship. Equals forever.

AARON:

I’ll put my credit card in. Put acredit card in. We’ll split it.

LeBron looks for his wallet.

AARON (CONT’D)

F*** you. F*** you.

LEBRON JAMES:

I think I left my wallet in the

car.

AARON:

F*** you.

LEBRON JAMES:

It’s right in the car.

INT. OPERATING ROOM - DAY

Amy’s watching Aaron perform shoulder surgery. ‘Uptown Girl’by Billy Joel plays over speakers. Aaron hums while he works.

We hear the song. When an incision is made, a ton of fatpours out. Amy vomits.

61.

INT. OPERATING ROOM - SCRUB AREA - DAY

Post-surgery, Amy and Aaron talk by the sinks.

AMY:

So, that was disgusting.

AARON:

Yeah.

AMY:

Why Billy Joel? Why Uptown Girl?

AARON:

I love that song.

AMY:

That’s probably the worst BillyJoel song. I’m pretty sure evenBilly Joel hates that song.

AARON:

He shouldn’t, it’s great.

AMY:

Ok.

AARON:

So off the record, do you want togo grab some dinner?

AMY:

Yeah, Aaron I think you are sogreat. But I’m a writer, I’m yourwriter and you’re my subject. Fromnow on we need to keep itprofessional. You know?

AARON:

No. I think we really like eachother and we should start dating.

AMY:

No. I’m saying-- I’m confused. Am Inot communicating this right?

AARON:

No, I hear you. I’m saying Idisagree. Do you like me?

AMY:

Yes.

62.

AARON:

I really like you, so we should bea couple.

AMY:

No, no. I have plans.

AARON:

What are your plans?

AMY:

Dentist.

AARON:

Is that true?

AMY:

No.

AARON:

Then let’s go out.

Her phone rings.

AMY:

I'm sorry my dad’s place is

calling.

(into the phone)

Hello. Why didn’t someone help him?

I’m on my way.

(to Aaron)

My dad fell. He’s in assisted

living. I need to change.

INT. GORDON’S ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY - DAY

Amy and Aaron rush down the hall. Gordon sits on a hospitalbed, a gash on his forehead. An attendant, TEMEMBE is holding

a rag on it.

GORDON:

Hi baby.

AMY:

What happened?

GORDON:

Nothing.

TEMEMBE:

He is supposed to ring the callbutton if he needs to get out ofhis chair. He fell.

63.

AMY:

Where’s the doctor?

TEMEMBE:

They are ignoring my pages. If Iwanted to I could treat him. I was

a doctor in my country.

GORDON:

I’ll let you know if the wound getsinvaded by evil spirits.

AMY:

Are you in pain?

AARON:

Can I take a look at it please?

Aaron starts washing his hands.

AARON (CONT’D)

It looks a lot worse than it

actually is.

GORDON:

Who’s this moondoggy?

AARON:

I’m Doctor Conners. Your daughterand I just officially starteddating.

AMY:

No, not officially. Not at all.

GORDON:

Welcome to a very large club.

AARON:

You’re going to be getting stitchestoday.

GORDON:

Not a chance buster. What’s the

point? Just leave it. What do Ineed to look like Kate Middleton

for? I don’t give consent. No

consent.

AMY:

Shut up dad.

We see the stitches going in. We show them poke through theskin and Gordon wincing. It is disgusting.

64.

Amy and Temembe are holding Gordon’s hands while Aaron

stitches him. There is a good amount of blood. Aaron ishumming.

AARON:

I need to you to stop moving.

GORDON:

I feel like a pin cushion. What’she humming?

AMY:

Billy Joel.

AARON:

Uptown Girl.

GORDON:

That’s the only thing that’ll save

you. I like Billy Joel. I saw himat Nassau Coliseum. Nylon CurtainTour.

AARON:

That’s awesome. I saw him with

Elton John at Shea Stadium. It was

great.

GORDON:

Of course you did. Nothing betterthan down to earth blue collar

Billy Joel with Elton John, theQueen of England.

AARON:

Amy tells me you’re a Mets fan.

GORDON:

I’m a supporter of the New YorkMetropolitans. What about it?

AARON:

You wouldn’t mind some trivia?

GORDON:

What are you trying to distract melike a school girl getting her earspierced? What do you got?

AARON:

Can you name the nine major leaguesports teams that don’t end in theletter S?

65.

Gordon winces a little from pain but the distraction works.

GORDON:

Child’s play. Utah Jazz, MiamiHeat, Red Sox, White Sox.

Temembe pulls Amy to the side to talk.

TEMEMBE:

I shouldn’t be telling you this. Hehas been hoarding his painmedication.

Aaron continues to stitch.

GORDON:

Ease up Martha Stewart.

Norman wheels by.

NORMAN:

Hey. Water aerobics. You coming?

GORDON:

I’ll be right there.

NORMAN:

Meryl’s wearing a two-piece.

GORDON:

The guy died three years ago andnobody alerted him.

EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Aaron and Amy walk to his car.

AMY:

Thank you so much. My dad’s reallynot a bad guy. You just caught himon an off day.

AARON:

He was fine. I’ll check up on himnext week. I told him about

Tecidera. It’s a new drug that

inhibits the immune cells. I’ll

call his doctor.

Amy is overwhelmed. After a beat.

AMY:

Will you please come home with me?

66.

Aaron thinks about how to respond.

AMY (CONT’D)

Forget it.

AARON:

No. You know what? Let’s get somefood. Do you want to get someraviolis? I know a place and theyhave great raviolis.

AMY:

I would love to get raviolis.

They kiss.

AARON:

Yeah?

AMY:

Yeah.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - LITERARY WALK - DAY

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