Ucho Page #4

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and tell them that I'm just coming...

...so that they stop that infernal ringing!

He's coming

I give you my word of honour

that I didn't do anything

- Is he coming or not?

- He's just staring

So tell him not to stare

I put some things in your case

- His old woman is with him

- Don't come with me

I put in your pyjamas

and some shirts and socks

Please... go back

I just pressed the bell

and it kept on ringing

Do you always have trouble

with the stupid thing?

No, never. But it could have happened

I must have pressed it too hard

We didn't need to ring.

Are these your keys?

That small one is for the house, isn't it?

Yes, I think they are ours.

My wife must have lost them somewhere

We said that we'd bring them.

You left them there

- standa told us to, but...

- He didn't survive the journey

Pick him up so that

his private parts don't catch cold!

This is Ludvik, my best friend

He's a minister, you clowns!

And these are my best... schoolmates

- No, my best workmates!

- Careful. No names

Yes, all members of authority

have pseudonyms

They're writers

The Brothers Grimm!

Comrade Gibulka!

Stay in that chair

- Comrade Kopackova!

- Don't you recognise me?

Remember,

we used to pick up girls in the army

You climbed in through that window

And I shacked up

with that fast piece at the station

It's me, standa

OUR COUNTRY WILL BE

BEAUTIFUL AND AFFLUEN You'll sit next to the comrade

Do you remember going to that bash?

Wasn't it great

going to a dance... by tank!

- Could I buy more of these prints?

- Of course

Come and have

a drink of dynamite cocktail

My wife is looking for me

I'll take you somewhere

where she won't be able to find you

see that one over there with the b*obs?

She's enough to make you cry

Meet my commander

Hi

Plum brandy should be old,

but your wife should be young

He was the greatest comedian

in the world!

Then we all got married

and the cage door shut!

Has the comrade gone?

He went off to show

the new ambassador Prague by night

But I've lined up people

for a photo session

Do you want me

to take the picture for you?

- Put a clean cloth on the table

- The laundry is still drying

- Haven't we got a clean table cloth?

- No

I hope we didn't disturb you, comrade?

- Haven't we met before?

- I doubt it

Make some coffee, will you?

And get that brandy

I brought back from Moscow

Annie, give us

the best brand of brandy...

I remember her coming to visit you

in the army

We had to hunt you down when you

were shacking up with that skinny bird

What did you kick me for?

I know how to behave in company

Can we smoke here?

Where are the sewage works

around here?

I have to make an inspection

Can you get up these stairs?

The one downstairs is blocked

Take it easy.

I've also got a dragon at home

A real old vampire

How did they know those were

our keys? Why did they come?

- Is this a pub or what?

- He can hear you

I want him to hear me. Throw them out!

Is there or is there not

a bottle standing there?

Did lightening strike your bog?

How come the seat caught fire?

Come and wash your hands

I left my jacket in there

Drink up.

The comrade deputy needs his sleep

There's no need to rush, boys

It's only 8:
30pm in Australia.

One for the road

Cheers!

- Let's go, gentlemen

- so soon?

We can't accept those, comrade

Ludvik's great!

I told you he's a brilliant guy

If you see some guys hanging about,

they are ours

We did over next door.

You heard Klepac, didn't you?

Yes, I did

Maybe the security guys are still there.

Did you see anyone in the garden?

- No. In the garden?

- They've probably called it a day

Bye, guys!

These are the best looking

girls from Broumov

Well built, aren't they?

You don't think they're held up

by scaffolding? Give him his award

- We've brought you this from Broumov

- It's upside down

so you can take

some good measurements at home

- Careful, the colour will wear off

- Where is this comrade from?

From our office. She's game for anything

They've locked her husband up

for opening his big mouth

We finally got her to divorce him.

You should come and visit us

Did you have to give them the cake?

You would have given our house away!

You stuff those louts

with our anniversary cake!

Forget the flaming cake

I'm just happy things

turned out the way they did

You can clear up this mess.

I won't touch anything

I wouldn't expect you to

If I want to eat off a clean plate,

I must buy it first

I'll buy you two cakes in the morning.

Go and change

I'm in no mood to play the scarlet woman

What did they say

about Kosara and Klepac?

Why should they say anything?

They must have told you

why they took them in

Didn't you ask them anything?

I'll get you your things.

Where's your nightie?

At least one of you

has to ask about Kosara

At least ask what has become of him!

Let the Ear hear this

Always having to shut the door!

Not even gypsies

have to make love in the kitchen!

Not even the Hottentots

do it on the floor!

We can go in the bedroom

I don't like being recorded

when I'm enjoying myself

If they took Kosara's wife, they'll have

to let her go. She's got children

Who would look after them?

She hasn't got anyone in Prague

This is the last one

Kosara didn't want to submit the report.

You should tell someone

- That would be a long story

- Let's talk then. We can't sleep anyway

Do I have to waffle on about it

with you too?

Do I worry about your plans?

Where are my pills?

- Have you seen my pills?

- They wouldn't work for me anyway

Don't play the poor boy with me

How often have I lain awake

with you snoring away?

Why are you looking at me like that?

How should I know

why they took them in?

Did I inform on Kosara?

They could just as easily have taken me

How do I know

what order they do things in?

But while Kosara's inside,

they come here to live it up

You know what?

Yeah. I shouldn't finish this bottle

Because Ludek

shouldn't see me in this state

I remember all you've told me

in the past ten years

- It's only ten sentences anyway

- Get stuffed

Which makes it nine now

Hey! That cigarette is mine

Who's there?

- Who the hell are you phoning?

- I tried Kosara's wife

some man answered

He used the other phone to call

the operator to find out who was calling

They'll think I phoned Kosara!

No, they won't. The Ear is listening!

Why would you want to call him

if he's inside?

You're a big help!

Put that down!

That was not my husband phoning,

it was me!

You said Kosara needed you in Prague

The truth is

nobody wanted you in Olomouc

You couldn't tell me

where my pyjamas are?

Where you last left them.

In the bathroom, I suppose

They're not in the bathroom

Don't look for them in my bed!

Take the clean ones

I gave you for the prison

Are we going to bed

or will you keep on preaching?

Leave me alone.

I'm just talking to myself

- You know who does that?

- The comrade

Kosara came to protect you

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