Uncommon Law Page #5

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No.

Melissa!

(SQUEALING IN HAPPINESS)

(LAUGHING)

(SHOUTING IN HAPPINESS)

Well someone's in a good mood.

I did it, I did it!

Ugh!

Well congratulations on your... sex?

No!

My article got accepted.

Oh, oh that is awesome!

I know!

Now finally I'll have something published

I can force my students to read.

I thought you said you hated it

when your professors made you do that.

Yeah, but they were old and stuffy.

I'm young and hip.

And, you have b*obs.

So did Dr. Baumgartner,

but mine haven't been

around since World War II.

So what does your dad have to say?

I haven't talked to him yet.

I figure since we're married,

you get first dibs on the juicy tidbits.

Oh, yeah I guess that makes sense.

So, did Cody find anything out?

Yeah.

Uh, he said he can handle it.

Okay, good.

There's just...

Well there's one little problem.

What's that?

Us living together.

What?

He says it's going to

be hard to prove that

we're not in a relationship if

we're still living together.

We can't be roommates?

Well I don't know, maybe.

But I mean with Cody lawyering it up?

We can't be roommates.

Well if you want to keep the apartment,

I can try and find a new place.

No, no, no no, it's fine.

I'll move out.

Zabrina needs a roommate, I

can stay with her if necessary.

Great.

Everything works out then.

Is this what you want?

What?

Me moving out.

It's not what I want, but...

But this is how you want

to handle the situation.

Look Cody's not really

an expert or anything, so...

I know, but, if you want

me to stay, I'll stay.

Well, this is just like our best option

if we wanna get out of this marriage.

Okay, I'll go see if Zabrina

wants me to move in with her.

Why don't you just call her?

I should go.

Well, don't forget your

letter, you're gonna wanna...

(WISTFUL GUITAR MUSIC)

I watched the cars go by

And I can't help my wandering mind

I have to wonder if you might be

Riding by the driver's side

And it's a sign and a hopeful thought

But I don't think that you forgot

About how much I loved

just driving you around

But you insisted on your leaving

Which to me was not appealing

Although I know you

only live in the next town

And if only you lived with me

Then I think that you could see

Just how perfect our

lives together would be

If only I could give you more

Although I'm not fully sure

What exactly I was

lacking from the start

If only I could understand

Why I felt our two piece band

Was consisting of a banjo and a harp

Why it was was consisting

of a banjo and a harp

I wish could turn

back this humid weather

And maybe bring us back together

Back when we were freezing

walking through the park

With my arm over your shoulder

It couldn't have been any colder

But I can feel the warmth

exuding from your heart

Yes those were better times

I had a lighter heart and a clearer mind

When broken glass couldn't harm my feet

And everything felt so complete

But things have changed and so have you

And now I'm treading without boots

You'd be surprised how much

the hollow heart pollutes

Your love was like the heavy rain

And when it all poured

out it finally felt the same

'Cause I never thought these showers

could ever come to an end

But I never knew that you'd affect me

I never knew that you'd select me

I never knew how much

the hollow heart could ache

What do you say, pick you up at 8?

Well that's the last of the big stuff.

And that should be

the last of the boxes.

Oh, what's in this?

Science books.

What, carved out of stone?

Just the geology ones.

What's in this?

Paperbacks.

I have a lot of paperbacks.

You know, we'll take the truck over,

and muscles here can start unloading.

No respect.

Well I guess that's everything.

Yeah.

Oh um.

You know it's just not gonna be

the same around here without you.

It's not gonna be the

same anywhere without you.

You remember how we first met?

Yeah, freshman year of

high school, spirit week.

What was it, future day?

Uh, decade day.

I just picked the 2040s.

Oh right, everybody was dressed up like

a greaser or a hippie and you were

walking around like you were the Tin Man.

I just thought the guy on

the Santa Monica Pier

was ahead of his time.

And you made the same

bad joke back then too.

You forgot to dress up,

and you came in and had to

borrow my silver hair paint

and join the robot revolution.

Yep.

Took forever to get that out.

Small price to pay for

a keen fashion sense.

Did you ever give that back?

Oh I didn't tell you that part?

I don't think so.

Did you lose it?

Not quite.

I was too afraid to talk to you again.

Why?

Thought you were cute.

Really?

Yep.

I spent two weeks avoiding you

until you caught me in the

cafeteria and we got to talking.

I didn't give it back to you

because I was too embarrassed.

Wow.

I'm glad Cody broke his arm. (LAUGHING)

What?

Cody broke his arm skateboarding,

so he didn't show up that day.

I was scanning the room for

a familiar face, saw you.

Best thing that ever happened to me.

(PHONE BUZZING)

You should get that.

Sorry, I uh...

Don't get emotional on me now.

It's not that, I just...

I should go.

I mean they're moving all my stuff,

lord knows where it's going to end up.

I mean, I'll talk to you later.

You uh.

Hi mom.

Yeah can I call you back?

To new beginnings.

New beginnings.

So you're starting over as an alcoholic?

Just for tonight.

Thought the bottle looked low.

It's actually bottle number two.

I suppose it's been one of those weeks.

One of those weeks

implies a sense of normalcy.

This was not the week from hell,

this was the week from the resort

that Satan decides to go to when

he feels hell's getting a little soft.

I guess that's fair enough.

But no more.

Tomorrow's a new day.

No more letters telling

me that I'm married,

no more having to move all

my stuff out of my apartment

because some idiot made a clerical error.

No more wine.

Starting tomorrow.

Hey, I got a call from

a literary agent today.

He's read the blog,

and he wants to meet with me

about a possible book deal for...

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE BUZZING)

Oh!

Either this is payback,

or you take reconnecting literally.

Jake, hi.

Hey.

Uh, if you're just gonna lay there,

I feel like I should buy you dinner first.

Unless you're still trying to

figure out if you're married?

Oh, no, no, this was

a big misunderstanding.

I'm so sorry.

It's alright.

I'm training for Rugby season,

so the contact is good.

Really?

Well, no, but it's manlier than saying

I've gotten a little

soft around the edges.

Nothing wrong about admitting

you've put on a few pounds.

Oh, so you're saying

I've gotten a little fat?

Just around the edges.

Then it must be true.

Especially if you confused

me for part of the track.

Hey, in my defense,

you are wearing black.

Oh, and that is the one

characteristic of a track.

It's an easy mistake to make.

Good, I'm glad you see things my way.

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