Unfaithfully Yours Page #4

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227

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Then your whole family is contaminated. No man

who employs detectives should ever be disappointed.

228

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I hope every time

you've engaged these vermin...

229

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you've discovered that you had antlers out to here,

that you were the laughingstock of the city...

230

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that you came crawling out

of the agency, your face aflame...

231

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your briefcase stuffed with

undeniable evidence of your multiple betrayal...

232

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dishonor dripping from your ears

like garlands of seaweed.

233

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I forgive your insults on the grounds

that you are excited.

234

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I forbid you to forgive me anything

on any grounds whatsoever...

235

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and I may still punch you

in the nose at any instant!

236

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Get out of here and never speak to me

again unless it's in some public place...

237

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where your silence might cause comment

or embarrassment to our wives!

238

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Oh, dear.

239

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I don't imagine that you'd be much interested

in the operator's report.

240

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- Yes, I would!

- Although it contained a couple of passages...

241

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- that I, for one -

- That you for one what?

242

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Now get out of here

before I do the same to you.

243

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I suppose I'll see you at the concert this evening.

I've already bought two tickets.

244

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I suppose so.

I'm usually there on the nights I conduct.

245

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I see.

246

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[ Door Opens, Closes ]

247

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[ Clattering ]

248

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What is that supposed to be?

You angel.

249

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It's supposed to contain flowers.

It might easily turn out to be a rowing machine.

250

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[ Sighs ]

You sweet love.

251

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Well, I just wonder where we're going

to find anything big enough to put them in.

252

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- I wonder if the kitchen would have anything.

- You really do love me, don't you?

253

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- What?

- You really do love me, don't you?

254

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I don't know what I'd be doing here if I didn't.

255

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I don't either.

256

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By the way, you didn't do anything

you shouldn't while I was away, did you?

257

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I mean, like, falling in love with anyone else,

or anything like that.

258

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How could I fall in love with anyone else

when you took my heart with you?

259

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No man ever had a better answer than that.

260

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Will you meet me at La Lotte's about 1 :00

on the way to lunch?

261

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- La Lotte's? What for?

- 'Cause you haven't a thing to wear.

262

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I'd like to buy you a little something.

Would you do that for me?

263

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- But, darling, I have closets full of-

- And then lunch with me?

264

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[ Sighs ]

Of course I will. But I don't really need a thing.

265

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- I have -

- It says here in very small type.

266

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- I'll see you at La Lotte's.

- All right, darling.

267

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j&j& [ Classical ]

268

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j&j& [ Surges ]

269

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j&j& [ Ends ]

270

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[ Alfred ] And now, gentlemen, merely to follow

the wishes clearly expressed by the composer...

271

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pizzicato con molto vibrato.

272

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Like a dentist chipping out an old filling.

273

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- [ Laughing ]

- j&j& [ Resumes ]

274

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j&j& [ Humming With Melody ]

275

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Keep playing, gentlemen.

I don't want to waste your time.

276

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- Dr. Schultz.

- Yes, Sir Alfred?

277

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Yours is my favorite instrument

in the entire orchestra.

278

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I've been looking at you,

but I can't hear you.

279

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I was afraid of being a little loud, Sir Alfred.

You know, vulgar.

280

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As a small boy I was learned always

never to be vulgar.

281

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Be vulgar, by all means,

but let me hear that brazen laugh.

282

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j&j& [ Cymbals Crash ]

283

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[ Chuckling ]

284

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[ Laughing ]

285

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- j&j& [ Continues, Faint ]

- Okay. Follow your nose to first door...

286

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open door, walk through,

come to wall, stop.

287

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j&j& [ Humming With Melody ]

288

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Shh.

289

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j&j& [ Cymbals Crash ]

290

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j&j& [ Cymbals Crash ]

291

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j&j& [ Cymbals Crash ]

292

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j&j& [ Ends ]

293

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Splendid, gentlemen. Splendid.

It's already much too good for them.

294

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[ Laughing ]

295

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Besides which I've got an appointment

with a beautiful young lady.

296

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- I'll see you later.

- [ Chattering ]

297

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j&j& [ Humming ]

298

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This gentleman says

he has something for you.

299

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- He's from the hotel.

- And I ain't a gentleman. I'm the detective there.

300

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- You remember me, don't you, Sir Alfred?

- Yes, I think I've seen you skulking around.

301

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You're what's known

as the house dick, aren't you?

302

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That's me.

Can I see you alone a minute?

303

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I suppose so. I shan't enjoy it.

304

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[ Sighs ]

Hot work.

305

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I'd like to make this alone,

if it's all the same to you, buddy.

306

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Oh, very well.

307

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- [ Man ] Beautiful music, sir.

- [ Alfred ] Thank you.

308

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Just beautiful.

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