Urge Page #3

i delegate,

I make things happen.

The stage show, the experience.

All of it.

It's my art.

It sounds like a dream.

In dreams

begin responsibilities.

Delmore Schwartz.

Wow, I can't believe

i got a dealer

who quotes delmore Schwartz.

Spectacular.

We'll talk again soon.

Wait, really, that's it?

You're not gonna

sell me the stuff?

Oh, I never was.

The red bastard

will see you out.

Can you snap the brink?

You've been puffed?

Had your pill pricked?

- Have you done urge?

- No.

Okay, that is

the right answer.

Watch and learn.

Urge.

Makes you feel so wonderful

you think you're gonna die.

And afraid you won't.

I think we're just

looking to get high.

"High."

High is old paradigm.

Urge is way beyond that.

So, are you ready?

Where? Here? Now?

Give me your face.

A good old fashioned rush.

- I don't feel anything.

- What?

Nada, I mean...

that's rare.

Maybe a little

trippy at first, but...

- You really feel nothing?

- Nah, nothing.

Give it awhile, I'm

sure it'll kick in.

There is one more thing

we have to discuss.

We need to discuss the rule.

- Rules?

- Not rules, rule.

There's only one.

But it's a doozy.

Supposedly it blows the doors

off of anything

you've done before.

There's no hangover

and it's perfect,

but you only have one shot.

You can only do it once.

Wait, you mean once tonight.

No, no, no, like once ever.

That doesn't make any sense,

I've never heard of any

sh*t like that before.

That's stupid.

Jesus, Joey, can

you spell addict?

We haven't even tried it yet!

It sounds kinda sketch.

I tried it.

- What?

- And?

You guys try it and tell me.

I don't think it's

really kicked in yet,

but it's supposed to be

some next level sh*t.

Yeah?

So who told you

this one time rule?

I mean...

You know, something tells me

not everyone's

following that rule.

You guys do what you want.

I'm just telling you

what they told me.

Guys, this conversation

is great and all,

but we all know we're doing it,

so if you will.

- Okay, let me show you.

- Please do.

I get it now.

F*** yes!

Took you guys long enough.

She is everything.

I'm here.

My God, I can't believe the way

I feel, I've never

felt like this before.

Yeah.

Have you seen me dance?

Did you see me dance?

I was like really

f***ing dancing.

Not like white guy dancing,

but dancing for real.

It's like a piece

of self in my body,

it just feels like it's

in the right place,

it's like I'm f***ing

hallucinating reality.

Reality's perfect,

reality's perfect.

I'm glad that

you reached nirvana

'cause I don't feel sh*t.

- What?

- What a crazy f***ing night.

I'm in heaven.

God, I feel amazing.

Hey, hey, he's not

feeling anything.

- I don't...

- what?!

How?

How is that possible?

This guy is not

affected by urge.

When you're pure ID,

you don't need

to shake your superego.

Let's not forget

I'm a philistine please.

When you're not on a leash,

you don't feel anything

when you're off one,

it's just business as usual.

I don't know about that.

I think so.

You lucky f***er.

So you feel like

this all the time?

Like...

None of this weight

on your chest?

Because I could

get used to that.

Maybe we've all been

wrong about you, Jason.

You may simply be more

enlightened than we are.

Oh, come on.

- Oh, okay.

- Whoa!

Okay, so Jason's

the ascended master.

Oh, no, no, guys, I just think

i need a bigger dose.

No, baby. You're the only man here

who doesn't need a dose at all.

Now can we get back to having

the best f***ing night ever?!

All right, I'm bringing it up.

Hey, all right, you two f***ing

on the dance floor last night?

I'm sorry, I guess

i was just raised

a little differently

than you sluts.

No, no, we didn't.

Yeah, you did.

And you did hard.

Real hard.

- Mmm-hm.

- Mmm-hm.

Yeah, well I guess

i never realized

how much I like an

audience before.

I guess I never

really realized

how much I like

being in an audience.

Oi!

Show some respect.

I respect everything

you guys did last night.

You're not funny.

Come on, relax.

We had such fun

last night right?

I mean what kind

of a club allows

you to do that in

front of everybody?

I mean who condones

that type of behavior?

Party still raging.

- Woo!

- Yeah!

Oh, Jason, last

night that girl

I was with asked me to give her

a shaved bat?

Ew!

I don't know what

that is, is that awesome

or is that disgusting?

A, I have no idea

what a shaved bat is,

and b, if you're involved

it probably is disgusting.

- Oh, hello.

- Hey!

Neil wanted me to

give these to you.

- What?!

- How nice.

Good morning, little babies.

- Good morning!

- Hello!

Believe it or not,

today is going to be

even better than yesterday,

and yesterday was f***ing epic.

Understatement.

Now you all have today's

agenda on your iPads.

We are going to begin with

deep tissue thai massage.

After that you have a choice.

Tennis lessons with

Pete Sampras, he's a friend.

He won wimbledon, no big deal.

If you're not into that,

scuba lessons off the shore,

or private yoga sessions with

this famous yogi that

Theresa found on TV.

He's ours for the weekend,

everything's taken care of.

Whatever you choose

will be amazing.

Trust me.

Easy, control freak.

After that I have glam squads

coming for the ladies.

Gentlemen, steam baths

at the local Russian joint.

I bought the whole

place out so we don't

have to stare at any

sad old man balls.

Ooh, sadder and

older than yours?

Wow.

Oh my God,

i might have to marry you.

Charming.

Tonight, dinner at acadia.

Chef's table inside the kitchen.

Ten course meal

with wine pairing.

It's going to blow

your f***ing minds.

That sounds amazing.

What?

What is it, are you

guys not feeling this

because everything's

taken care of.

Whatever you want.

Guys, I even had dj z-trip make

you all personal

relaxation mixes.

Really?

Yeah, maybe that was

a little overboard huh?

So...

It's just that...

We all had a really

great time last night.

It was like the

best night ever.

I don't wanna sound

like a dick about it,

but the only thing that

i actually wanna do,

the only thing I'm

thinking about is...

Dude, we just wanna urge out!

We can only do

it once, and yeah,

we had our shot at it,

and it was as advertised.

Perfection.

Come on, what's the issue?

Why can't we do it twice?

I wouldn't mind

doing it again.

Great!

We're taking urge hitting

everything in the agenda!

Hold on,

hey, wait, wait.

Obviously it didn't work on me,

so you guys go ahead,

have fun, but I'm out.

- Have fun.

- Oh, come on!

You are so

doing more urge, Jay.

Come on!

Yes you are.

You guys are gonna

be the death of me.

Look who's uptight now.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's been a beautiful day,

but it's now time

for the main event.

Finally.

I have to be honest.

I'm a little nervous.

- Aw, let's just do it.

- Yeah.

Jason?

Bottoms up, b*tches.

Oh, bravo, bravo.

Who the f*** are you?

You just staring at me?

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