Vamp U Page #7

for a burrito at "Chipotel."

I'm almost there, all right?

Dude, it's pronounced both ways.

Mom?

Hey, Chris.

Hi, Tom.

So, I guess it's

supposed to rain today.

I wish I had the foresight to

have bring my umbr-r-r-Ella.

So... Ah, yeah.

I see you guys all

got yours open.

Mm. Just preserving our skin.

Ooh, very smart.

So, what do I do with it today?

- What is...

- Oh, this is for the blood drive at your house.

Didn't you know about it?

Yeah. I guess I just assumed

it was canceled, 'cause...

Why would it be canceled?

Weather.

This is for skin cancer.

Oh.

So sorry.

Okay.

Hey, don't let Fred come.

Why not?

I-I'm like 100% positive

he has a heart murmur.

But you should come.

I see how it is.

Well, I guess I've

got to go to class.

- If you'll excuse me...

- Thank you.

You know, if someone would

have told me four months ago

that, by the end of the

semester, I'd be plotting to

kill my... True love 'cause she's

a psychotic vampire, I would

have been like... "No way."

But now that we're actually doing it and...

I just look back

on that imagined scenario, and

I-I just want to grab myself and

I want to say,

"listen to this guy.

He knows exactly what

he's talking about."

Dr. G!

Son of a b*tch!

Damn!

I'm sorry about that.

Tom, hey, you look like

you've seen a ghost.

More like a bunch of vampires

that are trying to kill me and

my fraternity.

A blood drive?

They're still having it?

Yeah, and they're out,

passing out flyers.

And Chris said you couldn't come

'cause you have a heart murmur.

I don't have a heart murmur.

Then she's a

liar and a vampire.

Why doesn't she want me there?

This... that doesn't

change anything, okay?

This just lets us know

where they're gonna be.

Now, let's put on

our thinking caps.

Bury me good.

You wanted to see me?

Hi.

Ah.

Chris invited me to the blood

drive, and I told her that I

couldn't make it.

But then I got to thinking...

how selfish of me.

Is this your blood?

It is.

Mm.

I hope it's enough.

Um, I actually feel

a little faint.

Um, could you see

that Chris gets this?

I'm sure she'll know

what to do with it.

Sure thing.

Well, um, I think, uh, I think I'll

turn in a little early tonight.

You're gonna sleep in here?

Oh.

You have no idea how

comfy this thing is.

Don't drink and drive.

You almost done?

All done.

We got to hurry.

The salon closes

earlier on Fridays.

Hey, tweedle-dumbasses,

what is this?

Uh, it's our new coat rack.

Why the hell do the hooks go

all the way to the floor?

Just in case a

little kid comes over.

Kids aren't allowed here.

Clean this sh*t up

before the party.

Resistance is futile

Wait a second.

Aah! Jared! Jared! Ow.

And I am gonna

drink your blood

We're here to set up.

Fred... I didn't

think you'd be here.

Well, I guess a lot of things

happen that you'd never, in your

wildest dreams, would

think would happen.

Kappa hos!

What's up, ladies.

Well, hello, Kyle.

Sweet.

You guys all look like hookers.

All right, we got to go.

So... You won't be here?

Well, then, do you

want me to be here?

Well, I guess it doesn't

matter either way.

So it's like that, then?

Like what?

We'd best skedaddle.

So, excuse us.

Friends, family, Ludmila...

take a good look at me now

because this could be the

last time you see me alive.

Just know that I love you

and I did it for you.

And to the kappa Os...

buckle up, b*tches.

We 'bout to ride

your asses to hell.

Ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

ah-ah

Hey, are you guys

done playing grab-ass?

Almost.

And what the hell is this?

Dude, it is what it is.

You guys need to come upstairs.

The kitchen looks disgusting.

Maybe if you play your cards

right and clean up your room,

you'll get laid tonight...

I'm fixing to hit you

by girls this time.

I'm fixing to hit you

Mary, please help me kill her.

It's out of the question.

Hey, I'm getting

another call here.

Hold on.

I'm fixing to hit you

What's up?

Hey, yeah, Fred's being really

anal right now, but we'll

be there fairly soon.

All right.

Hey, I got to go.

But if you change your mind,

there will be a bunch of people

murdering each other

at 1637 Benton.

So... Bye.

Da-da-da-da-da

da-da-da-da-da da-da-da

So, she doesn't care either

way, but, at first, she wasn't

gonna kill me, but now

she's gonna kill me?

What the hell?

Dude, she was

always gonna kill you.

She just wanted you for herself,

and then she was like, "oh,

whatever," you know?

Fred, it's not you.

Get down!

Hey.

Go tell the girls it's time.

But we're gonna be here all

night, so don't get caught.

Where'd Mel go?

I know.

This is getting lame!

Dude, ease up.

They said blood drive outside...

party on the inside.

Who cares?

Let's just go out there.

No, I'm not gonna run around

like fricking A.C. Slater.

Dudes, the b*tches

aren't coming!

I:

I went to the beach

the b*tch was so hot

she came to me and said

do you like the

beach, b*tch?

Sweet.

How do I look?

Were we supposed

to get dressed up?

Oh! Ugh!

Hello, ladies.

What's up?

You're all wearing

Dracula teeth.

No sh*t.

How do they stay in so good?

Same as yours, dickface.

Hey, come upstairs with me.

I got something I

want to show you.

Mm. I'd love to, but Carly's

already got dibs on you.

Is that gonna be a problem?

Oh, hells, no.

Come on.

Raise your hand if you want

to make out with a vampire.

Me, me, me.

Oh! Me, me, me.

Okay, check it out.

Look, you're gonna take

this girl right here.

Go upstairs and

make love to her.

Don't have sex... make love.

And, look, you, buddy, come on,

take this girl right here.

Um. No, you're a douche bag.

All right, I'll open the

window from upstairs.

Can you fly up there?

I may be king sh*t, but

I'm not super king sh*t.

I'll climb up.

All right.

Are we ready to do this?

Are you ready pound a stake through

the chest of your one true love?

Why you got to

say it like that?

Hey, hey, hey.

Tom's trying to get you in the

right frame of mind, okay?

We can't afford any

hesitations tonight.

We put in the hours to do this,

and then, like, you're...

you're upset, but take

it out on yours...

I'll do what needs to be done.

Well, let's hope no one

lands there now, I guess.

Oh!

Oh.

Say, Chris,

what's the big idea?

I hate being tripped.

Sorry, no girls inside tonight.

I saw kappa O girls

going in there.

Yeah, it's a kappa O/STD party.

Aren't they all?

Too bad you just died.

The b*tch said, "yeah"

the b*tch said, "yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"

the b*tch said, "yeah"

the b*tch said, "yeah"

the b*tch said

oh, yeah

hell, yeah

damn, yeah

I went to the beach

Dude, Jared, I thought you said

there'd be plenty to go around.

Yeah, I did, and

there will be, bro.

Good, 'cause you totally

screwed me over.

No, listen.

I'm gonna take

care of you, okay?

I didn't even give

anything to myself.

That's how leader I am.

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