Vamp U Page #8

Where are they?

What? Oh, look at the douche

bags, all douched up

for the douche ball.

Where are the kappa Os?

Dude, they're gonna

get with all of us.

Yeah, and maybe if you guys

sit down and quit working on

your eagle project, you'll

get some action, too.

You guys are so stupid!

They're vampires, okay?

And they're gonna kill us!

Yeah, it's super hot, man.

Where's Kyle?

He's upstairs,

banging one right now.

No, don't go up there, dude.

You're salting his game!

What the hell is that?

It's a barricade, jackass.

Calling me high

on the telephone

came by plane all alone

All right, no one leaves until

every vampires is dead.

...tell it's not enough

come and...

Kyle, are you in there?

Open up!

Dude, I'm kind of busy.

Dude, she's gonna kill you!

You can be next.

Wait. That's jacked up.

Tom!

You knew my ideas when

they were in my head

they were my secret

evening plans

All right, aim for the heart

and use something heavy.

Dude, I don't care if you

don't want to get some, but

don't ruin it for the

rest of us, all right?

Dude, Tom, Kyle's up there

right now with one of them.

We got to go save him.

Hey, bro, just out of curiosity,

just let me know... are you gay?

That doesn't change this, but just

let me know right now, all right?

Dude, I am gonna

punch your dick, okay?!

There are vampire girls in this

house, and they're gonna kill us!

If any of them come back down

before we're back, hold them

down and do what you have to do.

That's what I'm talking about!

Bam!

Wait. Wait, wait.

When should I take my pants off?

After I leave.

What?

Dude.

Mm.

Aah! Mnh!

Aah!

Kyle!

Oh, sh*t!

Dr. g!

Dr. g!

Dr. g!

Oh! Oh, okay, we're starting.

We're starting.

Hey, vampire skank...

Bet you can't catch me.

I bet I can.

Aah!

Better double-check.

Wait!

Bite me instead.

Why... 'cause your jugular

vein's easier to find?

What?

What do you want me to do?

Dude, just tell me what

you want me to do.

Aah!

Do it!

Oh!

Ohh!

Does it hurt?

Yeah.

Ohh.

It's official.

We're murderers.

You get used to it.

What?

Murderers.

Murders get used to it.

Dude, don't look at me that way.

She's my first kill... Promise.

So, how do you

preserve the blood?

You're a very

inquisitive young lady.

Well, I just think I might be

interested in running a blood

drive some day.

Mm.

I mean, they probably have to

pee, but I doubt they ever have

to take a dump, you know?

Hi, Fred.

Hi.

Um, hey, did you, uh, hear

that we're all just kind of

making out with different guys?

That's the word on the streets.

It's really too bad that

Chris called dibs on you.

I thought she didn't

care either way.

Well, I guess

it's just kissing.

I'll make out with you...

But it has to be on my bed.

Mm.

Back in town

Can I watch?

It's what we do.

I like to watch.

Okay, crazy-ass.

Okay, well, just this way.

Blood goes... pfft!

Oh.

So, should we just

start making out?

Well, why don't you

lay down on the bed?

And I will get on top of you.

You've got this all

planned out, don't you?

We have a system, and it works.

I'm down.

If you want to make out,

you'd better come alone

totally senseless I'm

gonna drive you to

Straighten.

When I'm ready

to dance with you

Oh.

Dr. g?

What are you doing here?

Oh, um... Just... just

getting my frisbee.

Do you play ultimate?

No.

Ah, you know,

neither does Maggie.

She feels pretty bad about it.

Check this out.

See her?

Whoops-a-Daisy!

Whoa-oh!

Better double-check.

Looking good.

Hey, you guys, get a room, huh?

Hey, don't kiss his neck.

He's ticklish.

I wasn't going to.

Now!

Aah!

Dude, get off now.

Hey, side boob.

Where's Chris?

Aah! Geez!

We haven't seen her.

You scared me, Dr. g.

Later, b*tches.

Mom?

Uh-huh, I like it

uh-huh, I like it

Why do you hate me, God?!

Shh. Hey.

Hey, stupids.

I saw what you did

in the backyard.

Yeah, did you see what

we did to Samantha?

No. Did you see

what we did to Jared?

He's right there.

So, did you see him?

Come on over here

Get Fred. Kill Tom.

Whoa.

Hickory. Damn it!

Come on, Tom.

It'll be a lot more fun

if you don't fight it.

I hope you know this

is an automatic flunk.

Who is it?

It's Chris.

Open the door.

Hold it.

There's a barricade.

Well, move it.

Uh-huh, I like it

uh-huh, I like it

Hyah!

Aah!

Uh-huh, I like it

uh-huh, I like it

uh-huh, I...

You're such a pervert

with your giant camera!

What?

You know, if it wasn't for

that, I probably would have

asked you to winter formal.

You would have?

Yeah. But now I'm going

to suck your blood.

Wait, wait, wait! Wait!

Don't you want to know

what I would have said?

What would you have said?

Hells no, biznatch!

Mnh!

Writhe it out.

Sorry.

I probably would have said yes.

Sorry, ladies.

Open it already!

Mrs. Keller?

Fred green, is that you?

What are you doing here?

Same thing as you.

You came to help murder Chris?

Yeah.

Oh, you found him.

They're easy pickings

at the discotheque

You dyed your hair.

Hey, look what Fred did.

Pull it out, ho-bag.

I wanted to show

you guys first.

And they never, ever check

Oh, cute.

You dyed your hair.

...that I leave

in the neck

well, if they were wise...

It's Chris' mom.

Come get some, b*tches.

Drac's back

I want to suck your

whoo

Dracula

Drac's back

Somebody throw me a stake!

Ah!

I want to suck your

whoo

Now!

Dracula

I'm gonna wait for you

on Saturday night

I'm gonna give your neck...

...a great, big bite

Come on, Fred! Do it!

Come on, stick it in her!

I give up. I give up.

I give up. I give up.

Wait.

She's lying.

I know, but I've

got a better idea.

I didn't want it to go to waste.

I want to suck your

whoo

Where's Tom?

Ohh!

Let it happen.

Whoo

Dracula

Drac's back

I want to suck your

whoo

She was in love with me.

They're not hung over, they're

just vampire who rest

He's dead, dude.

Damn it!

Guess who killed the nurse

lady and stole all the blood.

Chris.

Why would she do that?

She's a super vampire, and

she's gonna drink it all.

What for?

To turn all the

donors into vampires.

What a b*tch!

Mm, good... good b*tch.

We have to stop her, right?

Yeah.

Whoo

Dracula

Drac's back

You don't have

to do this, Mary.

I think I do.

Don't worry.

We will look back in a few

centuries, and we will laugh.

But right now, this is

really, really sad.

Well, let's just

get this over with.

Okeydokey.

Chris?

In here.

Chris, what are you doing?

Cutting this blood

with some monster.

Mmm.

Where did you get it?

Where do you think?

I saw you drive by

when I left the party.

Okay, Chris, we have to talk.

What do you want to talk about?

Why do you have all that blood?

I'm making vampires.

It's not rocket science.

Those people have lives.

Yeah, and now

they'll last forever.

Chris, you're a

really evil vampire.

No sh*t.

I love killing people, and I love

making other people kill people.

It's funny to me.

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