Violet Tendencies Page #6

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than with us for a cause

you've always supported?

Don't worry, I'll stop by.

You act like it's such a burden.

I said I'll stop by,

so leave it alone.

Dating is stressful enough without

this extra pressure from you,

and texts from Luke.

And these super pokes from friends

on Facebook I don't even know!

Love,

Vern

It's tough being popular.

I'm gonna name my first born Daisy.

It's that time of the month, huh?

- I hate when men do that.

- Why do men always say that?

Wow.

The billionaire that got away

used to send me pink daisies.

Letting him get away

is the biggest regret of my life.

Not because we had anything

in common, we didn't.

But it was this game he loved

called Snooker:

What's that?

I don't really know.

And your point is?

My point is...

I never bothered to learn Snooker...

and now he's on a yacht in

the Maldives with someone who did.

Was the sex good?

Standard missionary.

Vern, too.

Really vanilla.

I mean just...

we don't have that much

in common, either:

Violet...

this guy sends you flowers.

He actually likes you.

He does, he likes me.

So he's got possibility.

And compatibility is not possibility.

All you've got to do now...

is fake interest

in what interests him.

And then after that he's yours

to mold any old way you want.

Am I right Donna?

What the f*** do you want?

You should want this.

He's boring.

Do you want to be loved,

or do you want to be entertained?

I want to be entertained?

No, no, no!!

What happened to my

vegan wedding?

Yeah, okay...

Yes, fine I stole

your stanky ass strap-on!

In a roundabout way, Donna

is supporting what I'm saying.

I doubt that.

And... what are you saying?

Compatibility is not possibility.

Violet...

learn the Snooker.

You watching me?

Maybe...

How are things going

at the salon?

Ahh...drama.

Had to fire my receptionist.

She was a b*tch.

Yeah.

Shall we...

call a truce to the dueling sluts?

Maybe.

You're here!!

Oh my god! Did you see

the silent auction?

No!

I made Markus put money

on Liza Minelli's g-string.

And I'm winning!

You guys are bombed.

Open bar. Hello!

What can we get you to drink?

No, nothing I can't be drunk

when I see Vern

Oh, sorry I missed your reading.

Oh, that's okay.

Violet turned down a free drink?

I know, she's... not herself.

I told you.

Thank you so much for all

your support and encouragement.

Just wait, I mention you

in my speech.

To think you used to let

people assume

you were just some dumb stripper:

Cha-ching!

I have found it's best not to

challenge people's assumptions.

Who said a go-go boy

can't be the hero?

I know...

Hey you gonna join us

on Thursday at Gym Bar?

I won't.

In fact tonight...

is sort of my cameo appearance.

Retirement?

What's that about?

Come on. It sounds like you're

running away from home to me.

I'm doing what's best for me.

Are you sure about this?

You wanna talk about it?

I'd love to...

but it's the pumpkin hour:

Congratulations.

6:
30?

You can't leave.

You're gonna miss my speech.

No, you can't leave.

Come on... stay and then...

Afterwards you can

come back to my place...

we'll bake cookies, watch Beaches.

I have Kylie Karaoke.

I love Kylie Karaoke!

Well, then say yes.

I'm terrified of rejection.

Oh, you have never been rejected!

In your life.

You have no idea.

And Zeus said you're working

on an anti-violence benefit next.

And one for the Trevor Project

after that.

I'm impressed.

Thanks.

Yeah, Zeus is really insistent

we reach out to

straight people too, which is...

kind of intimidating

since I don't know any.

Except for Violet, but yeah...

always Violet.

This sounds like a great opportunity.

Who knows there might be

hope for you yet.

What do you mean hope for me?

Just hope... you break out

of your limited gay world.

Oh, that's rich coming

from a hairdresser:

Hair-stylist.

Whatever:

Still not much hope for you.

Can you please stop with the games?

You started the games.

Well, I'm through.

You want to keep playing,

play with someone else.

I often do.

Max, I just want you to know

that you are this close to having me.

Luke, I'm really sorry

but I can't talk now.

He is on the clock.

Oh, for Heaven sake!

Zeus

kiss me.

Luke, I am flattered.

Don't be.

Just take me home and ravage me.

Ah Zeus, I've got issues.

Yes, you do.

You got issues too.

Are we gonna be alone forever?

It depends on your definition

of alone, doesn't it?

How long have you been

in the city now?

About 4 yea rs.

4 years and I have never once

seen you with a boyfriend.

Nope.

You never come

to my sex parties either:

You know I have poz events.

They're not my thing.

So what gets you going, big boy?

It's way off your radar:

I wonder if you'd even treat me

the same if you knew.

Two boys, one plunger:

Ewww, no.

Bartender; can I get a drink?

One second.

What happened to Violet?

She just bolted out of here.

What's going on with your BFF?

My BFF is MIA.

She is umm...

She's dating somebody.

What?

Wh...who?

Who's she dating?

Unicorn?

The mythical Unicorn!

Shhhh!

I'm not ready to come out yet.

Oh!

Oh you are fascinating.

Well so what? I mean

my roommate is gay.

Does he have HIV?

No.

But what if he did?

Well then I'd be concerned

for your health and safety.

See, this is why we need

to make HIV stigma-free.

Why shouldn't HIV have a stigma?

I mean it is preventable.

What about 70's high-rises

and pre-fabricated homes,

they have a stigma, right?

Okay, but we're talking about people.

People, not buildings.

What is wrong with you?

You're absolutely right.

I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated.

I've been after these Biedermeier

chairs on e-bay all day.

Oh, well...

If you're outbid, there'll be others.

You're a patient man.

It's not everyday you find matching

Beidermeier chairs on e-bay.

Where would they fit in

your apartment?

I'm shipping them back

to my folks with all the rest.

Oh, you're moving back?

Eventually.

Idaho's not really

column country, I'm afraid.

Bonneville is one of the fastest

growing counties in the country.

So there is plenty of work, and

I'll be renovating the homestead.

You'd love my folks.

Would you ever consider moving back?

I kinda moved away on purpose.

Me, too.

But I look around at my friends

and co-workers and...

they don't mean much.

I think what really matters is...

who matters.

Vern,

teach me about the Snooker

I mean the Beidermeier.

Why do you love it so?

Beidermeier is an

unpretentious classic.

Devoid of...

unnecessary embellishment.

You can keep taking things off,

you know.

Not to change the subject,

but have you had cheese today?

I don't think so.

I took this tantric class

on the sacred spot massage.

Would you let me...

help you release

some of that e-bay tension?

Babe, you could show Le Corbusier

the golden ratio in a Frank Gehry.

Now, just relax and trust me.

Ooops, sorry!

My bad.

Who's that?

Oh never mind, just relax.

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