Vive la France Page #4

Synopsis: Muzafar and Feruz are two good-hearted shepherds from Taboulistan... a tiny country in Central Asia that no one has ever heard of. In order to bring his country into the international limelight, the son of the Tabouli president decides to try terror "advertising" and entrusts the two shepherds, more naive than evil, with the mission of a lifetime: destroying the Eiffel Tower! To meet their objective, they have to move through the most hostile territory imaginable: France! A France far different from the West they had heard described: Corsican nationalists, over-zealous policemen, dishonest taxi drivers, violent sports fans, crabby employees, unfriendly waiters, Kafkaesque administrations and medical malpractice... they are spared nothing. Luckily they meet Marianne, a young and pretty reporter who mistakes them for illegal aliens and helps shows them another face of France... a hospitable, magnificent and generous land where the living is easy. Vive la France!
 
IMDB:
5.8
Year:
2013
94 min
175 Views


As if someone put in glass

concentrated happiness...

More!

Let's get serious now.

Nanette's sausage and bean hotpot!

With cutlery.

Well?

Very good.

- Isn't it?

- Very, very good.

In the eyes!

Is it good?

Very good.

Don't give them any more drink...

Long live grape juice!

France best cooking in world!

Just a second, Moustache Man,

this isn't France.

It's not France yet?

When's France?

This is the Southwest.

Yes, it's different.

Here we have fun, we live...

- We have big hearts.

- And huge balls!

We have Cantal,

Brie and goat's cheese.

Poor Dada.

Thank you.

Best eating in all my life.

Thank you, Marianne, but now

we must go Paris.

Not just yet.

After the feast, we fight the flab.

Fight who?

This game is weird.

Marianne, what we do here?

- We must leave!

- Just a minute.

You can't refuse.

Go eat stones!

Run!

To the left!

He's one of us

He's soiled his shirt

like the rest of us

Muzafar, rugby's new man

Despite his tiny organ

Pin dick!

Marianne!

Marianne, enough!

Stop now!

Enough. I want to go Paris.

One last drink and we'll go.

Do you know Armagnac?

Don't know it.

There's nothing stronger.

Waiter! Three Armagnacs.

Wait. In the eyes!

Again!

It's...

- It's interesting.

- Yes.

- Even so...

- It's not very strong.

No, it's not strong.

That's Bastille Day!

- France...

- Fashion...

You look like a chicken.

I want to eat you.

Look at me.

A photo!

Come dance!

No, I not know how dance this.

I prefer watch you.

Feruz...

I must tell you...

I must tell you something too.

I love you, Muzafar.

I going to give you little kiss!

Don't touch, that's bad!

What you want to say?

Feruz...

I love you too.

We show them what dance is!

It's the Tawa!

That much?

I thought that was the date!

I'll teach you

another great French tradition.

The dine and dash.

What is?

Well...

First you drink...

Then you take your things...

And then... you run!

Marianne!

Hey, you!

That's Bastille Day!

We did it!

We lose him!

Where we go?

What you do?

A midnight dip!

Come on in!

I already do sport today.

Come on!

I not know how swim.

Come on...

It's not deep.

It's interesting.

I have one last French specialty

to show you...

You have?

What is it?

It's called a "mnage trois".

I'm too tired to manage anything.

Three managers work faster.

Many hands make light work.

That's true.

Room service.

Uncle found us a car.

They may be looking for my van.

I'll just say goodbye.

Ok, you lovebirds?

Get moving!

Feruz, wake up.

We must go Paris. Dress!

Good morning.

Not good morning!

We must finish job.

- Can't we stay a while?

- No!

Why not?

It's nice here.

I know.

What you do?

Call now. She not here.

Not with her phone!

Hello?

You wet goat!

Who is it?

I didn't mean you.

It's Yannick.

We soon arrive in Paris.

Why you not in Paris yet?

It very complicated here.

We not even know

if we in France.

But we find very kind woman.

You think you there

to go to dancing party?

Hang up, she come back!

For explosives,

metro La Courneuve

10 sharp tomorrow.

10 sharp, La Courneuve.

You explode Tower at 13 hours.

13 hours the Tower.

Or Dada no longer

miss bullets.

No, not Dada.

I count on you.

- Don't do...

- Repeat please.

Hang up!

Stop!

Ready?

What's wrong?

5 hours with you

is going to be fun.

Let's go.

These will help.

Perfect.

White line!

Sh*t! The cops!

- You not stop!

- Or we charter Baghdad!

Ok, I know!

Drive!

Turn right!

Do something!

Calm down! Are they there?

Yes! No! I don't know!

Broken.

Uncle won't be pleased...

Lost. We never arrive in Paris.

All because of her!

Stop shouting Marianne.

She try help us.

We should never have trusted woman.

Drop the Middle Ages attitude!

Female scum.

They find us?

They armed? They kill us?

No, they're hunters.

They only shoot birds, not people.

Hello, gentlemen.

We wanted to take a short cut

but we got lost.

Do you know if anyone could help us?

Nothing.

It's nothing.

Ok...

Thank you very much.

Savages!

I didn't understand a word.

I think he called Cazenave

to ask if garage open.

He say garage open and come

in 20 minutes with tow truck.

Are you making progress

on the attack?

Yes, Dad. A minor hitch

but nothing serious.

I hope not.

Stop!

I need to pee.

Come on.

Come here!

Yes, Dad?

Remember your brothers

Maruf and Ouloukbek?

No, Dad. I never knew them.

Exactly.

That's because they disappointed me.

So don't disappoint me too.

Get lost now!

Get lost!

Hermet, pack the bags.

- Your bags?

- Our bags!

We're taking a trip.

You can't count on anyone.

Here you are.

This is it.

Welcome to Paris.

Paris!

We'll go to the hospital

first thing tomorrow.

Don't worry, we'll make it.

Make yourselves at home.

I'm going to...

a short break... because...

It's so...

Stop!

What you do?

Come.

But...

We are the RTT.

You now.

Go on, give me hate!

We claim responsibility...

We claim responsibility

for attack on Eiffel Tower

on July 16th at 13 hours!

What you do?

What you do? Come back!

What is it, Feruz?

I not really understand

what we do here.

Yesterday, I have incredible day.

It's true.

I not want paradise up there now.

I want to live down here.

And live in shame?

For betraying your country,

your village

and your family?

We have no choice.

We must finish mission.

What mission? His plan sucks.

Plan A, Plan B...

Exploding people

by exploding yourself.

That's shame.

All for a leader we put up with

for 36 years now!

I want no more leader!

Cut off his head!

I want

to eat snails,

drink grapes.

I not want explode myself.

I want to have blast!

You let Marianne influence you.

Remember what they did.

You like losing kidney?

No.

And Fragada...

Was that blast?

No way.

So?

I feel more alive here

in one day than in rest of my life.

Coward!

I finish mission alone.

Martyr...

Shame on you, Feruz.

Shame on you.

Muzafar...

Yannick?

Kevin. Move your ass!

Climb on.

Don't take forever.

You don't look like a Yannick.

I am. Yannick Noah.

I'll see how it's going.

Sit here.

I'll come and fetch you.

Ok.

Here you go.

What do you fancy?

Kevin! Set the table!

Just a sec, Mom, I'm working!

Hungry? You like veal olives?

I don't know.

If you're hungry or you like that?

I don't know.

What d'you need?

Explosives.

Man, you're making my day!

You lucky f***er,

I'm doing an offer on Semtex.

The terrorist explosive.

10 of these

will down the Eiffel Tower.

I want 10!

10? Treating yourself?

No problem.

You won't regret it.

This stuff sells like hot cakes.

It's wild.

Need it gift-wrapped?

No, it's for me.

Ready-to-wear?

Respect, man.

Martyr.

Take a look at this...

The suicide bomber vest.

Fully adjustable.

F***ing awesome on you!

I like you

so I'll throw in for free

the cell to start the show.

Very kind.

That way you'll come back.

Stop feeling yourselves and come eat!

I'm not feeling myself!

Check this out.

Let me show you this before you go.

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Michaël Youn

Michaël Youn (born Michaël Benayoun; 2 December 1973), also known under the name of Fatal Bazooka, is a French actor, singer, comedian, and TV and radio personality. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Vive la France" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/vive_la_france_22918>.

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