Waiting... Page #7

I just sat you.

You're gonna love them.

Hey, there, ladies.

My name is Monty.

Hey, Floyd, make sure there's no bacon

on that chef salad. It's against her religion.

- All right?

- Yes, master. Right away, master.

Ain't gonna be no bacon

on the salad, master.

No bacon. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no. Please. Oh.

Oh, no.

No bacon on the salad

So, is there anything else

I can get you folks this evening?

I think I'd like

a hot fudge sundae.

That does sound good.

I'll be right back with that for you.

Like that b*tch needs to be

eating dessert anyway.

You know, if you ever want counseling

in anger management or...

alcoholism, I'd be more

than glad to do it for you.

You'd do that for me?

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

But I think I'd rather you just

wash the f***ing dishes

and shut the f*** up!

F***ing psychobabble-bullshit

a**hole!

F***in' b*tch.

Son of a b*tch, cocksucker.

F***in', I hate her.

I hate her!

F***in' Nick and T-dog!

That is why we are always on guard

for guests. You never know when-

- Sh*t.

- So you have to make sure they-

F***! Man, no!

If we're gonna beat last year's numbers,

I need you to be more hands-on.

I need you to be sure things

don't fall through the cracks.

Basically, I need you

to be more like Dean here.

I question whether you can

see that by me serving food,

but thank you anyway.

- How is everything, guys?

- Everything's perfect.

You're a master of your craft.

Thanks.

You keep this up, I may just try

to lure you away from this place.

All right.

Well, thank you, sir.

Let me know if

you need anything, guys.

You're probably wondering what makes

Shenaniganz such a great restaurant.

So I thought I'd share with you

a few key examples

of why we've had so much success.

First of all,

our entres are always cooked

exquisitely to perfection.

Our deserts were designed

by gourmet chefs.

We always treat our guests

with respect and dignity.

Did you see the tits

on table 12?

We treat each other

with respect and dignity.

F***in'- ass pervert!

Remember, the difference between ordinary

and extraordinary

is that little extra.

The penis just looks ridiculous.

It's like a shriveled roll of dimes or something.

I know. It's a joke.

- She's in love.

- Hey, Tyla.

You gonna talk to your girlfriend all night

or make my drink?

That's okay.

I understand how it works.

Birds of a feather

flock to vagina.

Get off your ass and get help!

You want some help, b*tch?

Here you go.

Theodore! What the heck

are you doing?

How many times I told you?

My name is T-dog, b*tch!

My name is T-dog, b*tch!

My name is T-dog, b*tch!

Hey, sweetie. It's almost 9:00.

I just came to say good-bye.

Hey, baby.

You wanna go in the car

and have a little sex?

So what if there's plenty of parking spaces?

It's the principle of the matter.

Hey, you're preaching to the choir here.

Know what I mean?

The lord giveth, the lord taketh away.

Damn, come on.

What the f***?

Here you go, sir. Once again,

I hope you enjoyed everything.

- Thanks.

- See you guys.

Dean, I wanna tell you,

you did an extraordinary job.

Oh, thank you, sir.

- How old are you?

- I'm 22.

Well, you're obviously

a very intelligent young man.

Let me give you my card.

Ever get tired of this place,

you're looking for a new opportunity,

- you give me a call.

- All right.

Thank you, sir.

I honestly appreciate that.

Great. All right.

Have a good night, guys.

Thanks again. Thank you.

Well, I hope he calls.

Mama said they's my magic shoes.

Mama said they'd

take me anywhere.

Of course, Mama used to beat me

with a rubber hose, call me a retard.

Dude, please stop.

Stop. Okay?

I appreciate what

you're trying to do. I do.

But, dude, I'm really not in the mood

for smiling, all right?

Okay.

- What?

- The old lady at table 37 wants you to sing

the birthday song

for her grandson.

His name is Timmy,

and he's eight years old.

I need birthday singers!

- Come on, people! We need birthday singers!

- F***.

There he is.

There's the big winner.

- Yeah!

- Hey.

All right. Attention, guests!

Today's a very speciaI occasion.

It's Timmy's eighth birthday!

Big round of applause.

He's earned it.

He's got his whole life ahead of him.

The sky's the limit.

I don't know but I've been told

Someone here is getting old

Good news is dessert is free

Bad news is we sing off-key

Happy birthday

To you

- Look at the camera!

- Picture time.

- All right. All right.

- Cry it off.

Well, we can't go

in the parking lot.

Can't go anywhere

in the kitchen.

Well, maybe we could-

We are not having sex

in the bathroom.

- But-

- No. No way. Forget it.

Oh. Come on, baby.

Come on.

Okay.

- Okay, but this is the last time.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So where do you girls

go to college?

Actually, we're still

in high schooI.

You're kidding.

How old are you girls?

Sixteen.

Wow.

You look a lot older than that.

I would've guessed 19, 20, maybe 21.

Yeah, we get that a lot.

Here. Let me give you

a hand with that.

It's the stupid childproof lighters.

Hey, Bishop. Can I talk

to you about something?

Yeah, sure. Have a seat.

Thanks.

All right, so I went

to my mother's this morning.

You've been working here, what?

About a year and four months, right?

Yeah, I guess. About.

- But anyway, we have a good relationship-

- About three years ago,

this restaurant went through

quite a low point.

Okay, I'm sorry. Did you wanna hear

what I was gonna say or-

Please. See, the store morale

was beginning to slip.

Clientele base began

dropping off.

That of course, led to lower tips,

which in time,

led to an even lower

store morale.

Basically, the entire restaurant was going

through quite a downward spiraI.

Okay.

Then Raddimus began

working here.

And with him came the penis-showin' game

you all like to play.

Okay, I- Why are you

telling me this?

Restaurant began to improve.

Employees started having more fun at work.

They started joking around a lot more,

which led to a raise in the clientele base,

higher tips

and so on and so forth.

Yeah, I still don't understand, Bishop.

Point is,

the penis-showin' game

became a catalyst

for the change necessary

to be made in the restaurant.

So, when things in your life

become stagnant.

You know, you're no longer happy

with what you're doing.

Then you figure out

what's important to you.

Then create your own

penis-showin' game.

Metaphorically speaking,

that is.

Okay. Okay, thanks, Bishop.

So do you think taking the assistant manager

job would be like my penis-showing game?

Is that what you're saying?

Okay.

Where the hell is it?

It's been over half an hour!

Told you it'd be up in a minute!

Get out of my face or I'II lose your ticket!

What? What do you want?

Get back to the training room, you ass cock!

Goddamn it! I hate these f***in' cooks.

I hate them!

Twenty minutes for two medium-rare steaks?

This is bullshit.

What the hell? They need to get rid of every

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