Waiting For Guffman Page #7
- R
- Year:
- 1996
- 84 min
- 1,868 Views
and to cook our food.
Done.
Oh.
Oh.
That will be quite enough
of that, billy whittaker.
Just one kiss?
There'll be plenty
of time for kissing
when we get
to california.
lfwe get to california.
Oh, we'll get there.
Blaine fabin will
lead us there.
Hark! A rider approaches.
Blaine fabin
returns!
Whoa!
Ho there!
Whoa, steady.
Gather round
for i have news.
What news?
What did your keen and
perceptive eyes behold?
Just up yonder,
there is a ridge.
How high a ridge,
i could not tell,
for the sun had set
and darkness fell
before i reached
its pinnacle.
Then... a strange thing
happened.
My nose started twitchir.
There was a mysterious
scent in the night air.
What? What kind
of scent?
What was this
mysterious scent?
It was the scent
of salt water!
Oh!
Salt water!
Salt water?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have reached
our destination!
We have
reached the pacific!
Welcome to california!
Yay!
Yay!
Grab your feller
by the hand
Welcome him
to the promised land
Grab your lady
by the arm
Take her out
behind the barn
Everybody dance!
Whoo!
That was great!
Shut up.
I can't believe...
oh, my!
and the town of blaine kept
a-growir and a-changir.
Every time you looked around,
Hurry, agnes.
I am trying to hurry.
There we go.
You got my hat?
Where's my hat?
Your hat? Right here
is your hat, darling.
Mcgillicuddy's orchard became
the blaine elementary school.
They even laid track for
that newfangled invention,
the iron horse,
which brought a pretty
important visitor to blaine.
Yay!
It's president mckinley!
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Good people of blaine,
they told me
my next stop was wichita,
but i said,
"what about blaine?"
Yay!
Hurrah!
I guess i need
a new travel agent.
Mr. President,
in honor of our visit...
yourvisit toourtown,
i present you humbly
with this fair key
to our city.
Well, i do declare,
i believe the key to this city
is larger than
the city itself.
Wait, mr. President!
What have we here?
It's a footstool.
I make them.
Well, isn't
that interesting?
I'll take this back
to washington with me,
and every time
i rest my feet
i'll think of blaine.
Yay!
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
Now, we all know
that politicians
aren't used to keeping
their word...
he's here.
He's here.
I told you
he was gonna come.
Should we start
over again?
He didn't see
covered wagons!
Well, before you know it,
everyone rich and poor alike
had to have a blaine stool
in their home.
The little town never
knew what hit it.
Footstool factories
sprouted up like toadstools.
Everyone had a good job,
everyone was making
a good wage.
Blaine was on the map.
By the pool
In the school,
by the fires of yule
It's the rule
There's a stool,
there's a stool
Stools are where
Once upon a time
you'd find a chair
A chair's for fools
Everybody wants stools
Stool boom
From the parlor
to the pool room
We're the center
of a stool boom
?
Everyone knows our name?
Working, building
Never stopping,
never sleeping
Working, making
Some for selling,
some for keeping
You will drool
At the splendor of
these magic stools
It's the rule
Everyone has a stool
Just 3 legs
It's a thing
Hock your jewels
Use the money for stools
Stool boom
Just 3 legs
and watch the sales zoom
Like a fever,
it's a stool boom
And it's spreading out
from blaine
Working, building
Never stopping,
never sleeping
Working, making
Some for selling,
some for keeping
Working, building
Never stopping,
never sleeping
Working, making
Some for selling
Some for keeping
Whew.
I can't wait
to see the second half.
Allan, his dramatic work...
i mean,
i knew he was funny,
and i knew he could move, dance,
'cause he's that way,
but i think his dramatical work
is so moving that, um...
well, i mean,
i called joyce and i said,
"joyce, bring joshie 'cause
i gotta feed him halftime
'cause i'm just busting."
This is good.
Boy, they're moving.
They're dancing
all over the place
and the songs
are very catchy.
Uh, very catchy.
Can't get a few of them
out of my head.
Almost to
an annoying point,
but i think it's good
when a song is catchy.
From the little experience
i have in show business.
I knew corky that could act
and direct and produce,
but who knew he was going
to act and sing and dance?
You know, he can just do
everything there is to do,
and there's only one
other person in the world
that can do that and
that's barbra streisand.
He is...
I don't know.
An inspiration to this town.
That's... that's what he is.
And i, for one, am very glad
to see that johnny savage
dropped out of the show,
because a couple years ago,
he came into the drugstore
and he tried to steal
my stamp machine,
and that kid is no good.
You could tell just by
his parents he's no good,
and he would not have added
anything to this show.
Where corky
on the other hand...
Iook at him! Did you see...
god, i wish
i was in the show!
I hear that
french girls...
are very pretty.
That they wear
the finest of clothes.
I also hear
that they are experts
in the ways of love.
Ima, i'm going to fight
for my country.
To fight, and yes,
perhaps die
so that young men
from here to timbuktu
can feel the wind of freedom
blowing through their hair.
Oh, monty, i didn't
mean to doubt you.
It's just sometimes i feel
as if i don't really know you.
I would still pay.
A penny for
your thoughts
A dime
for your dreams
Would a shiny
new quarter
Buy a peek
at your schemes?
And when you are away
So far from my side
I will cherish
my penny's won'th
Till at last
i'm your bride
A penny for
your thoughts
Let's call it
a deal
I don't have
any secrets
You know
how i feel
That's it. No, no.
Hey, here.
Where?
You know where
i like the curl.
Ron, i have to get
myself ready.
There it is. Nice.
Now, a little fluff here
and you can work on yourself.
A penny for
your thoughts
It's settled
and done
I'd have offered
a million
I'd have done it
for none
I reckon
we're in love
And married
we'll be
And all
for a penny
A bright
copper penny
The penny
that brought you
To me
It was so good.
I told you you'd be able
to lift me like that.
Ha ha! You were right!
You lifted me up!
boys returned from the war,
things got
back to normal in blaine.
Until one summer night
in 1946,
when unexpected visitors
put us back on the map.
Where are we?
How did we get here?
Is this a dream?
Look,
what is it?
I don't know.
It looks like one of them
new feed storage bins.
That ain't no
feed storage bin!
How did it
get here?
It must've flew!
But it don't
have any wings.
Then i guess
it just dropped...
from somewhere
up there.
Citizens of blaine,
do not be alarmed.
We will not harm you.
We come in peace from
a planet far, far away.
A place we call mars.
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"Waiting For Guffman" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/waiting_for_guffman_22984>.
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