Walk of Fame Page #4

Are those even the lines?

Shut up, soldier!

You're a sorry excuse

for a human being!

Scene!

Whoo-hoo!

Groups two and three?

You have advanced

to Evan Polus' class!

Whoo!

Drewy, we smashed it!

Uccellini!

Suckers!

Tomorrow, 2:
00.

Everyone coming with me.

Oh, I got work in the morning.

Drew, are you sure?

Positive.

That's fine.

I'll just pick

something up for him.

Tout's presh.

Ugh.

Move.

Uccellini!

Okay, okay.

I'll tell them.

- Adrian can't make it.

- Well, let's just go inside.

Honestly, I really don't

wanna wait for Rubisio.

We said that we would, Rowe.

We have to wait for him.

Que se dice?

What's up, ladies?

Anybody up for a little game

of two on one?

Hi, Rubisio.

You're looking nice today.

Well, thank you, Hannah.

You look mighty fine

yourself, woman.

Come on.

Let's go get our shop on.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I'm not giving

these little rats a dime.

Rats?

How can you say no

to those girls?

They're so precious.

They stand right outside

the entrance,

pressuring everyone

with their hard sale tactics.

Rubisio, they're kids.

They are not employing tactics

to move cookies.

Hello. Would you like to buy

some cookies for charity?

Que se dice, little lady?

We'd love to, but unfortunately

our friend here

can't be within 100 feet

of children.

What? No, no, no, no.

That's not true.

- Tell her that's not true!

- It is true.

I'm so sorry.

That's not true at all.

That's not cool at all!

What are you doing?

Hey, shut up.

I saved you 7 bucks.

Where the f*** is chance?

Chance!

This place is gross.

Oh, that's not very nice.

You know, you gotta stop

being such a bully.

You guys ready?

Yeah. I'll take the bacon burger

with no lettuce.

And your choice

of a house salad,

regular or sweet potato fries.

I'll take the house salad.

Okay. And you?

Yes, I'm gonna enjoy

the Turkey burger

and Caesar salad, please.

Great, and I'm pretty sure

they're out of the grape soda,

so is cola okay?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

- Who said grape, drew?

- Chill.

She probably got you confused

with somebody else.

Chill? Look, man,

the day my skin color

does not dictate

the fallacious assumptions

of ignorant individuals

is the day I will chill, brotha.

That sounds like something

I heard last February.

Oh, now we're hating on

black history month, huh?

All this over a purple drink.

How many goddamn times

do I have to tell you

we have an appointment to do

our headshots right f***ing now?

- I do not remember.

- What do you expect?

Me to just float up

onto that horse, you fuckface?

Get your ostrich ass

out of this thrift store

and into the urine-filled

streets now!

If I hit something,

you're dead meat.

Now, look, I don't care

how long this takes.

You were late,

so now you're gonna pay.

Now are you ready?

Hold on.

Let me warm up.

Yeah!

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

- Okay.

- Why don't you check your lens?

Is it even working?

Mm-hmm.

We're done.

- Why are we shopping here?

- I'm a struggling actor.

I can't afford anything else.

You're not an actor.

You're an idiot.

Cool, I'm an idiot.

Freeze, pervert!

Put your hands up in the air!

- What did I do?

- Grab him, rookie.

Oh, it's on now.

Come here!

Oh, my god!

Why are you so big?

- Ow! Ow!

- Shut up, you little pervert!

I literally didn't do anything!

Tell them!

Tell them I didn't do anything!

Get your ass

up against this bike.

You lie to us one more time,

and you will be tased!

- I never lied.

- Put him on the ground, rookie!

Absolutely.

Yeah!

You think it's funny?

- No! No!

- You think it's funny?

Do you think it's funny?

Ow! You're too tight!

Ow! It's too tight, sir!

Too tight?

How 'bout this?

Oh, my god! Ow!

Oh, my god!

You think it's funny?

Enough, rookie!

Enough!

Bacon burger with a salad.

Thank you very much.

Fried chicken, burnt pork

and sweet potato fries.

Fried chicken?

I ordered a salad.

Oh. I thought you said

sweet potato...

Salad.

We don't have

sweet potato salad.

Free at last, my black ass.

This is bullshit.

Okay?

You eat the chicken wing.

Sir, I didn't even know

half fingers were included.

Just like you didn't think

acting like a pedophile

was against the law?

- Sir, I didn't...

- You didn't? You didn't?

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, now you know, Mary.

If I ever see you blink

in the direction of a child,

you will be tased,

no questions asked.

Are we clear, Mary?

- Mary?

- Are we clear?

Yes, sir.

Now get out of my face,

and get out

of the shopping center.

God! What the f***?

What the f***? Oh, my god!

You did good, rookie.

You made him run

like a little b*tch.

- Hey, you.

- Hannah, hey.

I got you two medium shirts,

one blue and one purple.

I figured they'd look

good on you. I...

I hope you like them.

Oh, uh, thank you.

Oh, my gosh,

you didn't have to do that.

- Wow. These are nice.

- Yeah.

Um, can you just...

Oh. Yeah.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

So how did...

Oh, um...

My aunt has an equestrian farm,

and one day I was practicing...

My uncle's tractor backfired

and spooked the horse.

Wow.

I fell and, um...

I pretty much lost the sensation

in the right side of my body.

I get pissed off

when my leg falls asleep, huh?

That's not what I meant.

I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry that happened.

- No, it's okay.

What about you, drew Thomas?

I finished law school

last spring.

You're a lawyer?

Well, uh, not exactly.

I'm a minimum wage telemarketer

until I can pass the bar.

Then what are you doing

at Starmaker academy?

Thank you for calling

grove your Booty,

revolutionary backside workout

paired with all your

favorite groovy tunes.

Yeah, is this the machine

for to make my ass so fly?

Yes, and for calling right now

it can also...

You know if it works or not?

'Cause like I used to have

a Jennifer Lopez ass.

I could shake it like, you know,

Shakira on crack, you dig?

Fools used to get all sprung

when I walked by, you dig?

We here at groovy Booty

promise results

in just 15 minutes a day

for 30 days.

No! Get out.

For real though?

Yeah, yeah for real.

Money-back guarantee.

Before you know it,

your husband will be

getting all sprung again.

Who said nothing

'bout no husband?

Now let me tell you something,

silver spoon boy.

We ain't all chillin',

eating caviar,

drinking red Merlot.

You dig?

I said you dig?

Yes, ma'am.

What I get for free?

You all walked in here

below average at best.

But let me tell you,

by the time

I'm finished with you,

you'll have seen more red carpet

than the streets

have seen urine.

Now, to my new students,

it's simple.

You just do exactly

what I tell you to do

and how I tell you to do it.

Okay, let's just take it up a

notch, have a bit of fun here.

Who can we get?

Nikki, why don't you come up?

Give me that.

You have just returned

from the war.

While you were in combat,

you stumbled on a land mine.

It exploded,

killing three in your infantry,

but luckily, you survived,

but not before it blew off

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