Walk of Shame Page #7

Jordan Gether, CNB.

Dan Karlin, KZLA.

So, Miss Miles?

Where is she?

Oh! Well, normally, Meghan

would be here by now,

but knowing Meghan, she's out

in the field doing research.

Daddy, look. Look.

I think that's Lindsay Lohan.

No, honey.

Just keep walking.

Operator. How may I help you?

Yes. Hi. Yes, I need help.

I'm in trouble and...

Let me transfer you to 911.

No police.

I don't need the police.

I just need help making a call.

I don't know any numbers

and I don't have any money.

I can call collect for you or if

you know of any toll-free numbers.

I know a toll-free number.

Uh... Yes. Okay, listen.

Can you please connect me...

KZLA tip line.

What's your news tip?

Yes, hi! Hi! Hallelujah.

It's Meghan Miles.

Oh! I just need to speak

with Dan Karlin, please.

If you'd like to speak

to an employee,

you can call him or her

on their private line.

Okay, great. Can you give

me Dan's number, please?

No. Because it's private.

No. Okay, it's Meghan Miles.

From the news.

If your news is that you're

Meghan Miles from the news,

then that's not news

because it's not true.

Now, if you don't have any

news, please hang up.

No. I need to speak

with Dan...

So, you drove her home

in her car.

Yes. That's right.

Why didn't you take your car?

I don't have a car.

You don't have a car

in the city of Los Angeles.

How do you get around?

I take public

transportation, mostly.

I will take the bus to work, normally.

Sometimes I take the subway.

You son of a b*tch!

Oh!

You killed her!

Denise, Jesus!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

He is lying to us. There's

no subway in Los Angeles.

Yes, there is.

Where? How come

I've never seen it?

It's underground.

Right. Okay.

Sorry about that.

Okay. So, she left her phone.

What else did she leave?

I don't know. She didn't come in with much.

She had her phone and...

Her keys. I had her keys.

Well, where did you put them?

Over by the door, on the table.

The keys aren't here. So,

she probably has her keys.

She has her key?

That's great!

She has the Keytective key

service on her keychain.

What in God's name

are you rambling on about?

It's a little thing

that goes on your keychain,

and it has

a little computer inside

and it blinks a little light and

then it goes up to the universe,

and somehow they can figure

out where the heck you are.

I auditioned

for their commercial.

Anyway, I told Meghan about it.

She thought it was sensible.

That's our girl. Okay.

Let's call from the car and see

if the service number's in there.

No, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

She just got a text.

"Miles, wrong day to be MIA.

WTF."

What the f***?

"Network is here.

"Job's yours if you can just get

here for newscast. Karlin."

Karlin is her boss. Oh, my God.

We have to find her!

So, Mr. Karlin,

to your knowledge,

any questionable

Flickr images, tweets,

pics, IMs, emails,

Facebook status updates,

Yelp reviews, anything at all

associated with Meghan Miles?

No. Meghan Miles

is a good girl.

Okay.

Come on.

Locked.

Lady, what are you

doing with my bike?

I'm really, really sorry.

But I'm going to need

to borrow your bike.

I got to get to my car.

I got to get my life back.

Have you ever had

one of those days

where everything

you do just goes wrong?

And no matter how hard you try,

or how good your intentions,

life just keeps beating,

beating you down, huh?

I could really

use a friend right now.

So, if you just

let me borrow your bike,

I'll have it back to you in no time.

Really, I promise.

It would just be so great

if you could help me out.

Okay.

Oh, kid.

You're an angel.

Show me your b*obs and I'll

let you borrow my bike.

Boobies.

I had higher hopes for you.

All right, let's go.

Get over here. Come on.

Get in close.

Close your eyes first.

I'm calling your mother.

What are you doing?

That's my bike!

Hey!

X22. Olympic Public Library.

Bike stolen. Suspect is

female in yellow dress.

It really seems

like she wants to get caught.

She's like a criminal beacon,

sending off signals.

Where did you get that from?

The detective's exam manual.

Detective's...

Written by what, Oprah?

Good afternoon, Los Angeles.

Carpocalypse is in full swing.

So, if you're crazy enough

to be on the freeways,

may God have mercy on you.

Which he won't.

Gordon, this is

what a car looks like.

Oh... Thank you.

All right.

This is so exciting!

Keytective. Right here in her phone.

Calling. Awesome.

Keytective

operator assist. Who am I speaking to?

Uh...

- Meghan.

- Miles.

Miles. Meghan Miles.

That's me.

Okay. Mr. Miles?

What is your password?

Uh...

The password is...

Is it mother's maiden name?

The hint is your pet's name.

Mr. T!

My dog's name is Mr. T.

Yeah, we went deep last night.

I bet you did.

Let me just run a trace

on your ignition key's GPS.

Great.

They're running a trace.

Wow. So, you actually

banged Meghan last night.

I am really proud of her

for letting go. I really am.

Was she a freak?

I bet she was.

I'm not talking

about the details with you.

Did she juggle your balls?

Did she slap you around a little

bit, tell you you're pretty?

Because you're pretty.

You saw this lady in a yellow

dress steal your bike?

She was really scary.

You got a good look at her?

Yeah. She had these,

like, crazy eyes.

All right, kid. Come with us. Hop in.

We'll do a ride-along, okay?

But when we find her, I want five

minutes alone with her, okay?

Not okay, creepy kid.

Get in the back.

Be happy you're coming.

Let's concentrate on

apprehending the perp, okay?

Christ, it's like

the f***ing Goonies.

What? No. I wouldn't want

that even if she'd agree to it.

Why? Is that

something that you like?

It's just a pinky.

Sorry for the delay.

I can see that

the key is at

Rossmore and Normandie.

But it seems to be moving.

It's moving west on Normandie.

West on Normandie.

Okay, great. Rose,

go to Norton and Wilshire.

I don't know where I am.

Three more blocks.

And then make a right.

Hey, driver, you got to go faster.

We have to find the bike.

It's "Officer."

"Driver"? What's your dad,

rich or something?

My dad's taxes pay your bills.

Find the bike.

Kid, if you don't shut up, I'm going

to drop you off right on this corner.

How about that?

God, I just want to

find my bike!

And I just want

to be f***ing fishing!

Oh, my God.

Oh, come on.

There you go. You've really

hurt his feelings now.

Well, the kid's an a**hole.

And here we are on the 101.

Looking down at the gorgeous

San Fernando Valley.

Home of the porn industry,

where I had the opportunity to

work at one point in my career.

I worked the boom mic.

But did that stop me

from getting gonorrhea?

Well, I think we all

know the answer to that.

What are you smoking?

It's an e-cig.

Fake cigarette.

That's dumb. I smoke weed.

Great.

Now we have to arrest you.

No, I was kidding.

Well, you're already

in the back.

- Why is this kid here?

- He's a witness.

The yellow dress is

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