War of the Buttons Page #4

(All shouting)

Just bugger off, the lot of you.

What`s up with you?

One pound a week, that`s what.

Where am I gonna get a pound from?

Where are we all?

We`re all in the same boat.

- A republic, yeah.

- We`re all not equal.

Some has money and some don`t,

and I don`t.

I got none.

- Me neither.

- I get a bit on Saturdays.

OK.

Stand over there,

all those who have money.

Those who don`t,

join Little Con in the jacks.

Why should the poor

stand in the toilets?

Just because we`re broke, it`s not fair.

This isn`t equality,

it`s shaming those that have nothing.

All right, then, swap over.

Those who can pay, stand in there.

You`re jokin`. I`m not paying good money

to stand in the toilets. Forget it.

He`s right. We can`t all be equal

if some pay and some don`t.

- Exactly.

- We`re all equal if no one pays.

- (All) Yeah.

- No.

- Only when everybody pays the same.

- (All) Yeah.

Boffin, what`s equality?

Having identical privileges, rights and

status in the eyes of society and the law.

Like the Amish in America...

OK!

Forget what you`ve got in your pockets now,

that doesn`t count.

We don`t use it for the war,

it`s for our own things.

I have nothing anyway.

Me neither, but we`ve got to find ways

to make money.

Money for all of us to buy buttons

and things for the war.

Boffin, is that equality?

- Yeah, that`s equality.

- (All) Yeah.

And all the stuff, when we get it,

where we gonna keep it?

In our HQ.

- What`s an HQ?

- (Bell)

(All laugh)

Ready?

Watch your backs.

- Where will I put this?

- On the roof.

And make sure there`s no leaks.

- l`m off on my rounds now, good luck.

- Good luck.

How many buckets?

Two and a bit.

Two buckets, that`s two pounds,

and a bit, 20p.

That`s 2.20.

- Good luck.

- See you.

Where`s he going?

(Mooing)

- How many have you got?

- We can`t find none.

What do you mean?

There was loads when I passed here

this morning.

That was this morning.

What do you think they`re eating - celery?

You have to be up at the crack of dawn

to beat them lot.

Then get up.

Fergus`ll want some tomorrow, or else.

- Fox!

- A fox?

They`re worth a fortune.

A fox! A fox!

Fergus can go to hell.

Aren`t I up at the crack already,

milking our cows?

It`s Sunday tomorrow.

Tell that to the flippin` cows!

I can`t find them on my own.

Fergus, Fergus,

the boys are after a fox.

Get after it quick.

See where it goes to ground.

(All shouting)

Here, I got him here!

Right, we`ll smoke him out.

Boffin, get some dry grass.

Pat, Con, get a long stick.

- Little Con, bark.

- What?

Bark like a dog. You too, Tich,

down the hole.

(Both bark)

Boys, out the way.

Down, Boffin, quick.

- Yeah!

- Keep on poking back, keep on poking.

- Come on, Pat!

- Go on!

I can feel it moving.

- (All) Yeah!

- Go on, Pat!

Take it out!

It`s here.

- Ahh!

- (All cheer)

- (Thud)

- (All stop cheering)

It`s OK, it`s dead.

It`s a male.

Dammit.

Only half the price.

Pigs.

You pigs.

He was beautiful

and you killed him for money.

They`re killers, they all are.

They kill for the fun of it.

Yeah, like you did, all of you.

Fishy!

What happened?

Geronimo, he said

I looked too pleased with myself.

Who was supposed to be with him?

Where were you, Riley?

There wasn`t any mushrooms.

The cattle had eaten them all.

You did good, Fishy. Thanks.

- (Backfire)

- (She gasps)

Sorry, Marie.

The devil himselfs in me motor.

I`d be better off driving

the entire contraption into the sea.

It`s OK, Mr Riley. No harm done.

If we have a table here

we can all get round,

- for war councils and that.

- (All) Yeah.

Where will we get a table?

We`ll make it -

planks, a few bricks, easy.

Yeah, and an old tablecloth on it,

it`ll look great.

What`ll we sit on?

- Our bums. What do you think?

- (Laughter)

What we need is bits and pieces,

to make the place feel like a real HQ.

We`ve an old clock in the shed.

Doesn`t go, but it`ll look good.

We got a picture of Mummy and Daddy

when they got married.

- No, we don`t!

- Yes, we do, above...

We don`t want that.

This is our place, no adults.

- (All) Yeah.

- Right, a place for the treasure.

Didn`t I tell you our Marie was great?

(All cheer)

Right, nobody touch anything

till Boffin`s made a list.

- An inventory.

- That.

- (Laughter)

- Let`s have a look first.

No!

Riley, you don`t touch, you don`t see.

You did nothing for it,

so you get nothing from it.

How much did he cost us?

2.50 easy.

- Right, lads, take him outside.

- What?

Come back when you`ve earned your bit.

This isn`t a democracy.

This isn`t a republic.

- Get lost!

- Go home, Riley.

Clear off.

The whole lot of you can go to hell.

- Long live the King.

- lt`s a queen nowadays, you moron.

Then God save the Queen.

Balls to Ballydowse.

(All shout and jeer)

- What`s he done?

- Nothing, that`s just the point.

Yeah, except he let Fishy get bashed

by the Carricks.

Aye, but don`t worry, Fishy,

we`ll get `em back, won`t we?

(All) Yeah!

(Shouting)

Take aim.

(All shouting)

Fire!

Take aim.

Fire.

Aargh!

Fall back! Fall back.

Take aim.

Fire.

(Screaming)

Hold it, wait.

They`re surrendering.

Don`t you believe it.

What`s your game?

Truce.

We`ve a casualty here.

It`s a trap.

It must be.

Shut up.

OK, bring him out.

- A truce?

- A truce.

See what your flamin` catapults did.

One of you monkeys fired a stone.

- lt`s maybe broken its leg.

- You broke it, you mean.

- We don`t fire at rabbits.

- Only at you mockheads.

- We`ll make him a splint.

- Do you know how?

I did it on a pup once.

He`s young, he`s got a good chance.

Be great if you could.

- Cut me a twig.

- Billy.

- Wanna use my laces?

- No, yours are leather, mine`s string.

Riley? What are you doing here?

I thought Fergus kicked you out.

No, it`s OK, he let me back in.

I was in the fight, but I hurt my leg.

He sent me back to get it looked at.

- Looked at?

- Yeah, l`m injured.

OK. Sit down,

l`ll have a look at it for you.

Now, where does it hurt?

Me ankle.

It`s great being here on our own,

isn`t it, Marie?

- Go on, get out, Riley.

- Why, what`s wrong?

You`re not injured, you`re just a big kid.

Big kid?

And what`s Fergus and the rest, eh?

Playing house like a pack of girls.

Get out of my sight, you`re pathetic.

- You`ll look pathetic when I tell the master.

- You wouldn`t dare.

We`ll see.

Get out!

OK, what now?

What`s the time?

It`s ten past eight.

It`s a bit late.

We ought to be getting back.

Right, lads, back off,

but keep your guard up,

we don`t trust this lot an inch.

What was that? Was it us

waving the white flag, surrendering?

It was a truce, muttonhead.

Watch `em.

A truce? You`re all talk. What`s up,

scared of another hammering?

Funny, I can`t remember the first one.

(All laugh)

Yeah, and how about your da?

Maybe you`re scared he`ll give you one

when I send you home in shreds.

What was that?

Right, we`ll sort this out once and for all.

Saturday,

and this time to the bloody death.

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