We Love You Page #3
- R
- Year:
- 2016
- 77 min
- 55 Views
keep on coming.
Converse likes Noah's treasure hunt.
They want to hear more.
So in the next couple weeks,
we're gonna do a formal pitch.
I'd like to do the pitch.
With Ford.
Okay, you guys got it.
Oh, uh, and in other pieces
of news,
as of last night,
Marta and I
are officially engaged.
So I think a little celebration
is in order,
so everyone please
join us for cake.
All right.
It's Marta, not Martha.
They're both good names.
This is like barf-a.
You must be so psyched
to get married.
It's a blessed union.
Yeah, but I mean more so
for the, you know,
getting to have sex
for the first time thing.
And then hopefully
a lot more times after that.
Oh, well, I won't lie;
I'm a hot-blooded male too.
But as you know, I have
a strong religious center.
Otherwise,
I'm just like you.
Well, let me recommend
some slow jams,
you know, so you can
bump and grind and
ah, ah, ah.
Tell me about this new girl.
Well, it's only been
a few dates so far.
I don't want to, you know,
say too much.
You've literally said nothing.
Oh, well, I think
that may be for the best.
I... I get so nervous
talking about her.
I mean, and my hands
get sweaty.
- Feel them.
- I believe you.
Yeah. I don't know.
She's really cool.
She's, like, creative...
like, very creative...
but in, like,
a really nonpretentious way.
Yeah, of course.
She's very hot.
And she's actually
pretty smart.
And she's dating you?
I know.
Right?
I'm, like, totally smitten,
but I got to be careful
about it,
because I think she is maybe
seeing another guy.
Well, we haven't discussed
the whole exclusivity thing
at this point.
She said she's open
to just dating one person.
Don't have that conversation.
- No?
- No.
Exclusivity.
So I don't know.
I mean, I don't... I don't want
to sound too confident,
but I think there's, like,
a 50/50 chance
that guy could be me.
50/50, yeah.
Not to worry.
That wasn't too confident.
I think you're good.
Yo.
So I heard you
telling Derrick
this girl of yours
likes whiskey?
Mine too.
What else about yours?
Uh, well, she is
pretty bad-ass.
Oh, trust me, mine is
the definition of bad-ass.
And she knows how
to make me laugh.
She's so funny.
Ooh, mine too.
But get this.
Mine rides horses.
Okay, mine rides horses.
But she doesn't know how
to ride a bike.
Mine had a tiny Chihuahua
when she was little named J.Lo.
J.Lo.
Yeah, um, mine did too.
Mine's 5 feet...
7 inches tall?
- Takes...
- Boxing classes.
- Eats...
- Chili lime chips.
- Wears...
- Adorable red sneakers.
What is happening to us?
Noah?
Look, this is gonna hurt,
but one of us
has to stop seeing her.
Dude, come on.
You know a girl like this
is not coming along
in either of our lives
ever again.
Maybe.
But she came into
both of our lives
at the same time.
Yeah.
All right, you know what?
Let's be fair.
Both of us
have to stop seeing her.
It's the only way
we'll survive this, Noah.
I...
Okay, fine, sure.
I'll do it first.
What's up?
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Um, I have to...
I don't really know
how to say this.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
- Great.
- What?
My friend bailed on me.
We were supposed to go mushroom
hunting, and now she can't make it.
Excuse me. What?
Mushroom hunting?
I mean, we go hunting
for mushrooms,
and we eat them.
You're amazing.
- Noah.
- Hmm?
Would you want to go with me?
I... I do love mushrooms.
It's pretty cool.
Well, I mean, I can...
there's a...
Please, yes.
I would love to.
Here you go, sir.
Callie?
I'm breaking up with you.
Me and Noah just...
you know, we can't...
we can't keep...
Oh, my.
I'm screwed.
Okay, so what happened?
You didn't break it off.
I didn't break it off.
Noah, it was hard.
I know!
It's impossible!
She's sexy
and loves mushroom hunting.
Ugh, it's like someone
invented the perfect girl
just to torture us.
You didn't break it off.
No, of course
I didn't break it off!
I'm mortal!
Okay.
All right, look.
What if I said
I had an idea?
Now, it's gonna sound
completely crazy, but just...
Nope, I'm not flipping
a coin for her.
No!
Can we both agree
that if we stop dating her,
some inferior jerk
who doesn't deserve her
is gonna swoop in
and start dating her anyway?
Yes.
You know
what happens then, Noah?
- Uh...
- We both lose.
- Right.
- But what if...
we don't stop dating her?
I'm sorry.
I'm not following.
We share her.
- What?
- We joint-date her.
It'll all be aboveboard.
Let's back up.
I think that is literally...
and I mean this
without exaggeration...
the worst idea
I've ever heard.
And we work in advertising.
- Is it, though?
- Yeah.
- But is it?
- Yes!
I mean, she's gonna end up
liking one of us more,
probably you, and this...
oh, man, this whole thing
is way too weird.
- It's not that weird.
- It's that weird.
People date more than
one person all the time.
The difference is
they're not honest about it.
We're best friends;
we'll be so honest.
Yeah, I'll just tell her,
"Honestly, Callie,
"Ford and I are best friends,
which is why we are gonna
double-team you."
- Yeah!
- What?
That's actually
the perfect situation.
What do guys complain about most in
a relationship? Not enough space.
What do girls complain about?
Not enough attention.
This way, we'll get
double the space.
She'll get double the beef.
She might be into it.
She's not like other girls.
She's from Venezuela.
That doesn't mean anything!
Everything about this
is absurd.
The point is,
I don't want to lose her.
Yeah, I don't want
to lose her.
Sh*t!
Venezuela.
Yeah, I heard you
the first time.
Okay.
Okay, look.
Ah!
I'll do this
but on one condition.
I stop using
your work computer for porn.
That would be a good idea,
but also if she dumps
one of us,
then the other person
has to break it off.
It's all or nothing.
You won't regret this.
Yeah, I won't regret this.
Of course
I'm gonna regret this.
We're gonna... -
dude, don't dance like that.
You know we're gonna
freak her out.
Nothing about this is good.
God, I hate him.
Noah, just be cool.
No, I'm being cool.
Look, dude,
we got to get out of here.
She's gonna come any minute.
- I can't...
- She's coming.
Hey!
Hey.
Hey.
Noah?
Yeah.
- Have a seat.
- Oh.
Funny story.
We actually found out
about each other.
Really?
We're actually best friends.
That's weird.
Well, it's about
to get weirder.
We have a proposal. Noah and
I havea lot of fun with you.
And you have a lot of fun
with us, right?
- Yeah.
- We all have fun.
So why should that
have to stop?
- I'm not following.
- All right, Callie, look.
Noah and I individually
are not that amazing.
Wait, no.
Guys, you are amazing.
Trust me on this one.
We're not.
But together...
oh, together,
we become, like,
this perfect boyfriend.
Like a boyfriend Voltron.
It's a show from the '80s.
It's... never mind.
Callie, Noah isn't about to jump out
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"We Love You" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/we_love_you_23161>.
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