We Love You Page #5

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- Down.

Down. Ready?

All right, I'm gonna

take it easy on you.

No, don't take it easy

on me.

Ready?

Go.

I got that one.

Oh!

- How are you...

- Is this working?

Yo, just be quiet.

Quiet.

Nothing from the peanut gallery.

What are you doing?

How are you doing good at this?

Stop, you're not supposed to

actually be good at this.

I'm actually

really good at this.

Careful.

Stop.

Whoa.

- What?

- I got one.

- Holy sh*t.

- Oh, wait, no, two!

My gun's broken.

I'm about to beat

your high score.

No, my gun's not working.

No, you're not.

Oh! Oh!

Holy sh*t.

You got the Critter Bonus

and everything.

Bummer, dude.

Sorry.

Hey, you,

you're a wonderful artist.

I love your work,

beating Ford at his own game.

It was gonna be

embarrassing for him.

You are, like,

made of magic.

You... you're magical.

God, I just...

I love you.

What?

What?

I... I said I...

love you?

I love you too.

I mean... I mean,

we love you.

Yeah, that's what

I, I mean, we...

we love you.

I love you guys too.

You know what?

This is actually

pretty nice.

Yeah, it's working out.

Yeah.

Oh, it was a long night.

I'm gonna go home.

Ford, you're on the way.

Do you want me to drop you off?

Uh, yeah.

Sure.

I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah.

Okay.

This has a lot of potential

right here.

Yeah?

This is quite good.

It titillates

without being too insipid.

- It's really-

- Oh, hey, here we go.

So all right.

Check it out.

Here are the Converse.

These are fresh!

- Funky fresh.

- We'll focus-test it.

So how's your

collective girl doing?

I still can't believe

that Ford told you guys

about that.

I trust them.

Noah, your secret

is safe with us.

Okay?

I have much darker

and dirtier secrets

I've never, never revealed.

Much darker.

I'm curious

about the sex schedule.

Are the three of you exclusive

to one another?

Have you even floated the

threesome question yet? I would.

No, we've been

taking it pretty slow,

you know, so no sex yet.

Actually...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're... last night?

When she was just driving you home?

Look, it had to be

one of us.

Ford to reception, please.

I'm sorry.

Round one goes to Ford.

Um, okay, guys,

I need your help.

You want to stick it

in your girl.

Sure, okay.

Yes, yes, that is

what I want to do,

the thing you said.

Noah, I love you,

but you're too sweet

for your own good.

You need to add some danger

to the dynamic.

- Women love danger.

- They do.

Yeah, but, see, I'm not really

the dangerous type.

You know what I mean? That's kind

of... I wouldn't know how to do that.

I'm not telling you

to stab anyone.

I'm telling you

to invite her over

and put on

a sexy Liam Neeson thriller.

Stabbing could be fun

if it's with your flesh rod.

If you ask me, what I see here

is you and Ford,

and over here is Callie.

And who's this?

This is Noah

up on his sexual steed,

this erotic little animal.

And he's running through

the pastures.

To get to the Callie,

you're gonna have to gallop.

And then you're gonna have

to whisk her away.

Whisk her away through the...

Over there in your bed.

That's when

you will transform yourself

into the sexual Noah.

When you do,

I want to meet him.

Me too.

They told me to be, like,

Sexual Noah.

Sexual Noah?

What does that even mean?

I don't know.

Wait, well,

you shouldn't be

listening to these guys.

I mean, they don't even know

what they're talking about.

Sexual Noah?

That... that sounds gross.

What?

I just envisioned it.

I don't know.

It just seems weird.

Be yourself.

She'll be comfortable.

She'll pick up on it. And you guys

will have a really good time.

Yeah, see, but I don't even know

what to, like, do with her.

She's not an infant.

Take her on a date.

Yeah, we've been on dates.

I'm saying, like,

I don't know...

Like, what's an ideal date?

What's a good perfect date?

I think an ideal date

is just taking a nice walk.

A walk?

Yeah, show up with,

like, a cute little gift

or strawberry ice cream.

That'd be awesome.

Okay, but, see, no, 'cause

she doesn't even like ice cream.

- What?

- No, it's a thing.

That's weird.

You realize that, right?

I know, but she's one in a million.

What are you gonna do?

Just be yourself and stop trying

to be someone you're not.

You want her to like you

for you, don't you?

Yeah, okay.

No, you're right.

That's... yeah, that's probably

pretty good advice.

It was?

I mean, honestly,

the whole time,

I was blacked out

and just thinking about food,

and I really don't think

I hit the surface of the analogy.

- Oh.

- I should stop while I'm ahead.

You like it?

We're good.

Can we eat now?

I'm good.

Thank you.

Bye.

Cute kitchen, Noah.

So we're watching

a Liam Neeson movie, right?

Uh, yeah.

Or...

You know, all movies

should be filmed

in newspaper offices.

I know. Right?

It's amazing.

When he walks with a lady,

he waits for her.

Oh, well, in that case...

Oh, I wish I worked there.

Wow, that was actually

really good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, I got something for you.

All right.

Okay, it's...

a little something,

uh...

What is it?

Okay.

Oh, my God, Noah.

Did you make this for me?

Yeah, it's my first memory

of seeing you

at that prom thing.

I love it.

Yeah, you like it?

Cool.

Dude, what's going on?

Hmm? What?

Did... did you and Callie...

I slept with her!

I knew it!

It was like

a religious experience.

I'm happy for you.

I think this thing's

gonna work out.

It is.

Did she ask you,

by the way,

to do that photo shoot thing?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, do you know

what we're doing?

No, I just said I'll do it.

Yeah, okay, me neither.

Nice ones.

Okay.

Yeah, looks good.

Hey, they're here.

Hey, guys, this is Emery.

He's an amazing

photographer.

He's helping me a lot.

How's it going, Emery?

Ford.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

Nice to meet you too.

So cool you guys

are up for this.

Yeah.

Oh, of course.

Anything for

this beautiful lady here.

So what are we doing,

exactly?

You guys are gonna be

my models.

Okay.

- We're gonna model?

- Yeah.

- "Naked Friends."

- Cool.

Yeah.

Old friends, young friends,

unfiltered.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- In a photo, in...

- Yeah, what's the big deal?

There's the whole posterity thing.

What about my future kids?

I don't know.

I don't want to see them...

I'm sorry.

Who are you again?

- I'm Emery.

- Emery.

It's called "Naked Friends."

I need you both.

Look, I would love

to support you in this.

I want to support you. I just...

I'm not cool with that.

Well, I don't know what to do now.

The project's due.

Look, it's cool.

- I'll do it, all right?

- What?

I feel like

we're friends already.

No, no, no, no, I need you.

I need you to help me shoot.

Look, you know

what you're doing.

Come here.

Good, you're good.

You got this, all right?

- All right.

- Okay?

- Yeah.

- All right, let's do this.

Let's do it.

Let's get naked.

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