We Love You Page #6

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New friends

getting naked together.

I want to get wild

with you

What?

I want to get wild

with you

Perfect.

No, no, no, back to back.

Wild with you

I want to get wild with you

I want to get wild

with you

Nice meeting you.

Hey.

Uh, congratulations.

By the way, the whole thing,

I'm sorry about,

you know, not getting naked.

No, it's okay.

You're you,

and Ford is Ford.

And he gets into things

really hard and really fast.

You're more of a slow burn.

But I know I can count on you.

Yeah.

But, hey, we're still on

for movie night

at my place tonight?

A 1933 Ernst Lubitsch film

called "Design for Living."

It's about two best friends.

I think you'd find it interesting.

It's kind of up your alley.

I have a better idea.

Come into the green room.

I... oh, wow.

Here, take a shot.

Uh, okay.

Hey, man.

What's going on?

Callie had an idea.

Oh, did she?

What do you... what do you...

what's going on?

Well, Ford is basically naked,

and I'm about to be naked.

Oh, are you?

Is...

mm.

Oh, uh, 'kay.

Is...

Yeah, hey,

I'm not kissing you.

I didn't want you to.

So?

We gonna do this?

I guess.

Oh, screw it.

It's been a weird day.

Ah. Whoa!

Well, look what you did!

I got it.

I kind of feel a little weird

about last night.

Hey, yeah.

It was a little intense.

It wasn't... it wasn't quite

what I was expecting, you know?

Yeah, a lot more waiting around

than I was expecting.

Waiting, yeah.

It was just waiting

and then watching

and just got a little weird.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, that's what it was.

I mean, I'm glad

we did it, though.

Really?

Yeah, I mean,

I always wanted to have

a threesome... I think.

I mean, not really with another guy,

but it was... it was different.

It was... yeah.

Probably one-time thing,

though.

You weren't into it?

No, I mean, I was just...

I just wasn't expecting you

to be so... you know.

Good?

Yeah, yeah, like, it was...

you were very good.

She was really into it

with you,

and I was feeling...

not so much.

That's BS.

You looked great naked.

Like... very, very straight.

It was nice.

Oh, that's as far as we have to go

on that front, but thank you.

I appreciate it.

Hey, it's been long enough. What do

you say she meets our friends?

You think

that's a good idea?

Totally. We're having

a company mixer.

Why doesn't she come along?

Dude, she can't come along.

Ed's gonna be there.

Ed can't find out

we're dating the same girl.

Okay, then she comes

as one of our dates.

Whose?

Normally, we play

goodminton.

Today we don't

play goodminton.

We play to win.

We play badminton,

and the winner gets

to take Callie to our dinner.

You're on, Rico Suave.

Idiots.

Oh, there he is

right there.

- Oh.

- Yo, yo.

Uh-oh, there he is.

How's it going?

Ford, thank you so much

for coming.

Thank you for having us. I want you

to meet somebody very special:

my girlfriend, Callie.

- Hi.

- Oh, pleasure to meet you.

Ford, good work

nabbing this beautiful woman.

Oh, I know.

She keeps me young.

So where the drinks at?

- Oh, drinks are in the back.

- Perfect.

- Go at it.

- All right, man. Take care.

Ambien?

Oh, no, thanks.

Isn't it, like,

2:
00 in the afternoon?

Sleep medication promotes

especially vivid dreams.

And as you know, I can

control myself in those dreams,

mentally stimulating myself

to the point of orgasm, really.

Yeah, right.

Of course.

It's like Pablo Picasso said:

"Anything that you

can imagine is real."

So anything I imagine sexually,

it will happen,

no matter how sensual,

how deviant,

or how fantastic it might be.

Excellent.

Yesterday I was banging...

Nope.

So how are things going?

So I'm still working

on my app.

Yeah?

Let me see.

Oh, my.

So this is what I'll

look like when I'm dead?

I think

it's a fair approximation.

Oh, my gosh, that's great. Jess,

you're gonna sell a bunch of those.

Thanks.

The interface

still needs so much work,

which is actually why I thought

maybe I could send you

some stuff

and you can come up with

some ideas, if you have a chance.

Sure, yeah.

Okay.

Can you believe

that's our girlfriend?

It's actually pretty weird

when you say it like that.

What? No. Come on.

Don't be so negative.

Things are going great.

I mean, we say

"we love you" to her.

And how does she take that?

Great. She says,

"I love you guys" back to us.

Like, "I love you each

individually"

or "I love you guys plural"?

Uh, I think it's...

I think she says,

"I love you guys."

I don't know.

I don't remember. Why?

Well, one is something

you say to your boyfriend,

and the other is something

you say to, like, your bros

in a beer commercial

or something.

Okay.

I think she meant it.

We're gonna keep

saying it, okay?

Whatever.

Look, I didn't want to be

the one to say this,

but you realize this sh*t's

getting really weird, right?

What? Since when

have you thought that?

I've always thought that.

But you supported me.

You were the one who had

all the good date ideas

and, you know, the ideas

for things to do

and what's gonna make

this thing work.

I just... I guess I didn't think

you would take it this far.

I thought you'd

realize pretty quickly

that this is a bad arrangement.

It's not a bad arrangement.

It's real.

If this is real, if you have real

feelings for someone,

I just... I don't understand

how you can be okay

with them not being

completely into you too.

Wha...

Look, I'm happy, okay?

Come on.

You don't look very happy

standing up here,

pretending not to be

her boyfriend.

I am. I'm...

Okay, look, yeah, okay?

I do. I want... I want her to like me

the way she likes Ford.

Okay, great.

Go down there.

Go get her.

Win her back.

I don't know what you want me

to say anymore, Noah.

Look, I'm try...

I'm trying.

They're always doing

something dumb and fun together,

and I don't know

how to compete with that.

Okay, be dumber and funner.

Yeah, that...

that's probably...

that's actually

what I should do.

No, I was being sarcastic.

No, I mean, that's the only move

I have left.

The me thing,

that's not working.

What I need to do

is be not me,

be something other than me,

be better than me.

Noah?

You're great.

If you don't realize that,

you're even dumber

than I thought.

Great.

This is perfect.

Thanks for coming.

- Hey.

- Noah, what are you doing here?

Let's go on a trip right now,

you and me.

What about Ford?

No, he can't make it.

Just you and me.

He's busy.

Got work stuff, you know.

Busy guy.

He does things.

Okay, all right.

Where are we going?

I just love alligators.

There are no alligators

in Minnesota.

No... Minnesota?

Venezuela, not Minnesota.

Venezuela.

I see.

Okay, well, hang on.

You wait here.

I'm gonna go survey

for alligators,

and I'll be right back.

- Wait, I should...

- No, no, just you wait here.

I'm gonna make sure

it's safe.

- I will call you in a second.

- All right.

Hey. Now.

- Yeah?

- Come here.

This is gorgeous.

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