We Love You Page #7

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Here, come on over.

I'll show you

when you get here.

Callie, Callie.

Come here. Come here.

Come on up.

Ta-da!

Oh, my God!

Are you crazy?

Let's do it right here.

- No!

- Come on.

- I am crazy.

- Shh.

I am out of my mind!

- Oh, my God.

- Come on!

You have no clothes on!

- Come on.

- No.

- Come on.

- No, no, no, stop.

- Callie.

- We can't do it here.

- Callie, come on.

- No, no, stop.

Come on.

No, no, no, no.

There's no... it's not-

no, she's... she's my-

You stay away from me, okay?

I have mace.

Please, no, stop.

There's no need to whi...

there's no...

I can... I can explain.

There's...

I can explain.

I need you to bail me out.

I don't have any money.

What?

Oh, you know what?

We can call Ford.

No, no, no, we can't.

He's... he's busy.

- Emery.

- Um...

Do you have a problem

with Emery?

Did you and Emery ever...

Why does that matter?

I don't know,

because he's, you know,

super handsome and amazing

and a super-cool guy who's rich

and has amazing pubes.

- Pubes?

- Yeah.

What?

I looked at his pubes, okay?

Okay. Okay, you know what?

Forget about it.

Let's just call Ford.

Yeah, you're right.

He's probably not

that busy.

Noah, did you make that up,

that he's busy?

No, no, I... he's...

I'm just saying

he's probably not, you know,

as busy as, like,

another busy person

who's often busy might be.

Noah, are you still okay

with us all dating?

Yeah. I'm super cool.

Doesn't seem like it.

I'm cool.

I can't believe you lied

to her about me.

I'm sorry.

I needed alone time.

We had alone time.

We had schedules.

We're partners, remember?

Right, great partners.

She hasn't even answered

my last couple of calls.

She's holding you

against me.

She liked us, Noah.

It was working.

What more did you need?

- I...

- Oh, and when is the last time

me and you hung out...

just us, messing around?

We don't even do that

without her around anymore.

Look, Ed's wedding's tomorrow,

and if she doesn't show up,

I don't have a date.

And that'll be your fault.

You know, I think the reason

we're having problems

with this whole Callie situation

is because you're

jealous of me.

Why would I

be jealous of you?

Maybe because me and Callie

get along great together.

You know, we have fun.

I'm able to make her laugh.

She needs excitement,

not somebody who can

barely even trust her.

No, what she needs is someone

who can keep

a relationship going

longer than two weeks

and who can talk to her about things

other than Big Buck Hunter.

I talk to her way more

than just Big Buck...

Hey, guys.

Oh, uh, hi.

You look... wow.

I wasn't sure

if you were coming.

I wasn't sure either.

Well, you look beautiful.

I said that.

Talk to me, Noah.

You said you liked living with that

guy and girl in Stuttgart, right?

So did anyone ever

have problems?

Like, did anyone ever get

jealous or anything like that?

It actually ended

in an interesting fashion.

Inga shot Marcus

in the knee

with a Heckler & Koch

9-millimeter.

It was a fricking bloodbath.

I thought you said

it was fun.

By the end of the night,

we were all dancing

in the blood,

so on the whole,

I would still have to say

it was a positive experience.

Hey, you're handsome,

and you know it.

Clap your hands.

I may have two left feet

But I can still feel

the beat

And I keep dancing

all night long

I'll take three.

Thanks.

How can I complain when...

Yeah, I'll take that.

Thank you.

So I'll be dancing

all night long

Yeah, I'll be...

Want to dance?

Sure.

I've got a smile

for everyone I see

For everyone I see

Milady.

Is playing just for me

You guys look cute together...

Ford and his girl,

you and Jess.

I'm glad you all came.

You... congratulations!

Ed, you did it!

You got married today!

You... you're the man, Ed.

Oh, man, Ed's gonna

have sex tonight!

Shh.

I don't...

he never did it before.

- You're so loud.

- It's gonna happen.

I wish I could be there.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I'll be dancing

all night

Take my hand, darling

Oh, my God, hi.

Hey, guys.

You look happy.

We're getting married.

You're... you're...

con...

you guys, congratulations!

I love this man so much.

Wait.

What about the whole

"it's so awesome we're gay

"'cause we can sleep around

and still be

in a relationship" thing?

Oh, we're cutting back

on that; honestly,

it was getting to be a bit

too much work emotionally.

And...

we're still open to inviting

the occasional fellow

into our bed

every now and then... you know,

for a special occasion...

a birthday, Easter...

Well, I'm just happy

everyone's having

such a good time.

Excuse us.

Hello?

Is this thing on?

Bye.

Hey, can I have

your attention, please?

I'd like to make a toast

to our newlyweds,

Ed and Marta,

proof that America deserves

an interracial

Romeo and Juliet.

Ed, you're not just

a boss to me.

You're a... you are,

but you're a great boss,

a great one.

But more importantly,

when I see you stare at Marta,

I see true love,

something I haven't felt for a very,

very long time until now.

Callie...

Let me tell you guys,

it feels awesome.

L'chaim.

Nope.

- Stop, stop.

- I got a little thing to say.

Hello, everybody.

I also have a toast

I'd like to give.

I just want to say

I love you, Ed.

I love you, Marta.

But most importantly,

I love these two people

right here,

Ford and Callie.

Callie, come on.

Come on up. Come on.

Now, not everyone knows this,

but the three of us are

actually dating each other.

We are all very much

in love with each other,

mutually.

And sexually.

And we shouldn't have to

hide that, you know?

I love you, Ford.

I love you, Callie.

We can make this work.

Jesus, Noah!

All right, put on

the swing music.

Everyone likes swing.

It's coming back.

Dude, what are you doing?

I'm being you.

I'm being fun

and honest and dumb.

Yeah, and telling Ed

the one thing we discussed

not to tell him?

- You're being ridiculous.

- Stop yelling.

I'm not yelling!

You're yelling!

You're both yelling.

Come on.

I'm really disappointed.

Look, if you want

to fire him, I'm sorry,

but I'm not a sexual weirdo.

That's him.

It was his idea.

- Look, look, look...

- That's bullshit!

- Listen...

- I'm sorry, Ed.

I wouldn't fire you

if you would have

told me discreetly.

Plus, this whole

scene tonight? What?

I know you love God

and God is mad at us right now...

Are you firing us?

Look, I like you guys.

I want to give you

two weeks' severance.

You're firing us?

I need to go

make apologies, okay?

A bunch of superfreaks.

I'm not a sexual weirdo,

though.

I'm sorry about that.

You doing okay?

I'm sorry, Mama.

So?

It was fun, right?

Hey, what?

Come on, guys.

- It's over.

- No.

Look, you don't have

to break up with us.

Just... just choose.

I'm not gonna choose.

Right now,

you guys are fighting,

but you'll get over it.

I think I should just

let you guys be together.

- No.

- Oh, come on.

We had an awesome time

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