Welcome to the North Page #3

Shall we dash?

No, let her go.

You were saying...

eveything okay with Maria?

- I'm sad, how can it be okay?

- Perfect, hold on...

Hey?

I'm back. You packed it away!

It wasn't me.

It's so fresh.

Like it's been caught today.

You'll see, you'll enjoy

your weekends in Milan too.

So sleepy, I suffer from

narcolepsy, I'm going to bed.

You'll sleep with Chicco

in the room at the end ofthe hall.

Mattia, it's great having you here.

I like talking, sharing stories.

- In fact...

- Good night!

- At the end of the hall...

- Chicco.

SORRY, I HAVE A MEETING

SORRY, I WENT TO PILATES

"Sory, but I'm not brave enough. "

Thieves stole my car!

- Thieves!

- Is it daytime or night?

It's the street cleaners,

May as well buy a newcar!

My dear workers,

today is a grgat day for us

and for the Italian postal service.

Our pilot project starts today.

I'm expecting a lot from you.

Are we ready to make Italy

a better country?

Do the honours, Colombo.

Pre-paid debit card:

Great.

Account opening:

Come on, Dodi!

Postal order:
1 minute, 27 seconds.

Special delivey:
1.50.

Registered post:
1.27.

Keep it going!

Who's he?

New employee

on his first day, Mattia Volpe.

and he's eating a potato fritter.

No... it looks like a rice croquette.

- That's a potato fritter.

- Exactly.

- Colombo, go pounce on him.

- Me?

Yes, I know it's not easy

but pounce on him.

Of course.

You're late on your first day!

- Impressive!

- Alberto!

Come on, lazybones!

You show up at this hour?

They took my car.

It's always someone else's fault!

Shame on you, loafer!

Please go to your position,

window 11

and start working

you're late enough!

Layabout!

Postal order:
1 minute, 12 seconds.

- Hi, I'm Mattia Volpe.

- Okay.

- Don't all rush to say hi.

- Registered post: 1.27.

I told him!

Good morning, who are you writing to?

Irrelevant question.

Headphones on, dictate times.

It's 9:
30 and there's a pretty lady

who's... how old areyou?

You look younger,

not a day over 50!

Is this a rehab centre

or a health centre?

- No, it's the post office.

- Exactly!

Be concise, quick, keep smiling.

Stamp the paper.

Mr Volpe,

you now have a new customer,

try to be more polite but brief.

- Just go.

- More natural.

- Please...

- But firm.

- You're still here?

- Kinder.

- I love you.

- Firmer.

- You have to go.

- That's no good.

No good,

you have to be kind yet firm,

natural but brief

and at the same time clear, okay?

Sorry, with all due respect...

Can I go to the toilet?

- Is that really necessary?

- A pee.

Help me, the north is worse

than you thought!

Everyone rushes around

all day here!

Where are they going?

- Have you seen Alberto?

- Of course, he's everywhere!

But he's stressed,

he has nervous tics.

Remember Alberto from Castellabate?

- He's a different man!

- Liar.

I want to save myself,

I want to come back to Castellabate.

I'm going to resign.

You never grow up.

Resign and you won't see us again!

No, Maria...

Remaining time:

Wash your hands to avoid

contamination. Thanks.

- A coffee, please.

- What kind?

- What are the options?

- Mochaccino...

mocha-choc, americano...

Hazelnut, half-caf, iced,

with ginseng or grappa.

I'd recommend the Kafta.

- It's a cappuccino-style espresso.

- A glass of water.

- Sparkling, still, room temperature?

- Normal.

- Milan has a real coffee culture.

- I can see that!

- Sir?

- Come and meet our Dodi.

- Mattia, it's a pleasure, R. Dodi.

- Hi.

- Her name's Dodi.

- But you said R. Dodi.

Dodi, but they call me "our Dodi".

Hi, I'm Sandrino

and he's our Commisoni.

Why "our Commisoni"

but you're just "Sandrino"?

The speaker doesn't use "our"

before their name.

I'm Alberto,

but you'd call me "our Alberto".

If you're talking to her about me,

you'd say:
"Our Alberto... "

- You'd say:
"Alberto" to me.

- I see.

- Hi, our Commisoni.

- Without the "our".

Hi, Commisoni-without- the-our.

Hello! Don't forget

about our "cler" tonight.

Is Claire is the brunette

at window 5?

He's crazy!

That's Betty, I must tell her!

In Milan, "cler" means shutter.

- There's a free table.

- Don't go.

- Come with me to the square.

- To execute me?

Sorry about this morning,

the pilot project just started,

the boss was with me

and sorry about yesterday.

And about tomorrow and the next day,

I get your drift.

Don't be silly,

I was arguing with Silvia.

But it's resolved now,

in fact, sorry about last night too.

- Why?

- The shouting must've woken you.

I didn't hear a thing

yet I was awake all night,

I was cying over Maria.

Do you like it? It's yours.

- Where does the fuel go?

- It's electric.

- I see.

- You'll do the deliveries.

Here are the keys,

the house ones are there too.

I forgot to give them

to you yesterday.

You had me so worried...

- Give me a hug.

- What are you doing?

- We're not in the south.

- Why? In the north, don't they...

I'm joking, stupid.

Dirty southerners!

Today's my name day

and Maria hasn't called me.

Nobody calls for that.

What do you know,

maybe for him it's important.

- More than birthdays.

- You have to get a grip.

Step away from sorrow,

put things in perspective.

Why should he do that?

He's sensitive, romantic.

- What do you know?

- What are you saying?

Ever chained yourself up for love?

No, so shut up.

So I can't talk

unless I chain myself up?

Just shut up.

- 'Night all. Later, uncle.

- 'Night, bro.

- Who's "uncle"?

- You, that's how kids speak.

Mattia, you've not eaten,

that's no good.

My stomach's in knots,

I can't eat.

You don't like veal shanks?

How about some sushi?

- No!

- Whatcan I make you?

I need something sweet

to raise my blood pressure.

Like a nice puff pastry.

- Got any? Well, if you don't...

- We do!

- Alberto will go get one.

- At 10:
OO at night?

- Okay, I'll find one.

- Alberto, listen.

There are two kinds: short-crust

and rippled. Get me the first one...

Short crust.

It's beautiful, you were right.

- What's it called?

- "Tears of Emotion".

Does it have a sad ending?

Don't tell me.

I found the short-crust pastry,

outside Milan.

I'm full, I ate the veal shanks.

He likes veal shanks

and romantic films!

My slippers!

I left mom's slippers for you,

she has big feet too.

I just can't bear this...

Shall I stop it?

- Is it street-cleaning day?

- Is it daytime or night?

- It's daytime.

- There you go!

You're such friendly folk!

I have to say it.

FREE NORTH:

GET LOS:

Is there something to sign for?

I'm talking to you!

Are you dumb, poor lad!

Look here, it stinks of communism.

Must be a tax bill.

We work like slaves

to pay the taxes for the south.

If I were the president,

I'd get a big box,

fill it with southerners

and donate it to Spain or Greece.

But they're not stupid,

they wouldn't want it.

Look:
6,400 euros,

you think that's fair?

Are you deaf too?

You've lost all your senses!

Are you a Napoli FC fan?

- Giussano, get the southerner!

- No, he respects him.

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