Welcome to the North Page #4

He's a Neapolitan mastiff,

they get along.

What do you want? Get lost!

Traitor, you sold yourself out.

There's no point speaking Milanese,

you can tell you're Neapolitan.

GO TO WORK, SOUTHERNER!

At this rate...

- Are you okay?

- Are you hurt?

Poor thing.

- Are you from Avellino?

- Milan.

- Salerno?

- Bergamo.

- Battipaglia?

- Treviso.

- Are you from Naples?

- No, Varese.

Are you going to beat me up?

We've lost him!

- Who?

- Your friend's off the radar.

Do something,

he'll mess up our averages!

- Nevermind.

- Palmisani will kill us!

Maria has left me,

I feel really lonely.

I'd like some comfort,

a few kind words.

- Drink and forget your sorrows.

- I said kind words...

but ones that I can understand.

What areyou doing?

Filling up.

I'm in trouble, you have to help me.

I've given you my house and my bike,

you must do

more than 4 deliveries a day.

Don't stress me out

or I'll need sick leave.

Stress you out? What about me?

A year of hellish work, weekends too.

What should I do?

Take sick leave.

I'm working my ass off, quit joking.

This project should last one year.

I have to finish it in two months.

Or Silvia will leave me,

give me a hand.

- I'm asking you as a friend.

- You can bank on me.

Meaning?

Rest assured.

I can do 100 metres with one round!

You bet, it's got 22 gears!

The frame is carbon fibre.

It cost 6,000 euros plus tax

I can't deduct.

- Is there a curfew?

- No, it's Sunday.

Milanese go to the mountains

or lakes on weekends.

I don't like lakes,

they're like a parody of the sea.

Good. Come on, the match is on.

Go Milan!

We're A.C. Milan...

Npoli is in the lead...

Pass the ball, you're not alone.

Can't you see that player

on the side is free?

- But...

- Chicco, you have to be quiet.

When Napoli is playing

you have to be quiet,

you're distracting the players.

Lecce and Milan

are still 0-0.

He's watching my HD TV

and I'm listening to the match

on the radio like in the 60s.

Come on, you'll feel younger

and he'll cheer up.

He won't if Naples loses.

What do you know about football...

The whistle goes,

it's a penalty kick...

Ours or theirs?

- Now it's over to Naples.

- F***ing hell!

Goal! Chicco, goal!

Now you can talk, say "goal".

Goal!

Don't disturb him.

Your coffee, Mattia.

If your mom finds out, she'll kill us.

- She'll kill you.

- It's the goal replay.

Lecce is in the lead against Milan.

- We can't lose against Lecce.

- Lucky we didn't watch Milan.

Lecce beats Milan at home.

- What are you doing?

- Be quiet.

We agreed that he'd sleep

on the sofa.

At night I cry over Maria

and he needs to rest

and get up for school.

Wake up!

- Is it an earthquake?

- Worse.

He's put Chicco on the sofa to sleep.

- He said they agreed.

- If they agreed...

It's cold on the sofa

it's full of dust mites!.

No, mom came by,

she killed all of them.

Just one night on the sofa!

My son will not sleep on the sofa.

Okay, go and get Chicco

and you sleep on the sofa.

It's late, it's 11:00.

You'd rather play hard than work hard.

Sorry, I don't speak Chinese.

Where are you from?

- Near Naples.

- Near Nepal?

- Goto hell.

- Dunno...

- Say again?

- Saigon? No, Naples.

Goodbye.

Why don't we organize a dinner?

- The 23rd?

- No, the 25th or 26th.

- No, I can do the 4th.

- 12th?

The 19th. The 22nd?

All setforthe 22nd.

- I meanttonight.

- Tonight?

Are you crazy?

Okay, let's do the 22nd

around 21:
00- 21:30?

- Sorry, 21:
00 or 21:30?

- There's a difference.

Forget it,

we'll just meetfor Christmas...

- It's so far in advance I'll forget.

- Put it in your diary.

- I don't have one.

- You don't?

- You're crazy!

- Is it essential?

You've booked two meetings

at the same time.

- To save time.

- Don't be late, Silvia'll be waiting.

- Our Silvia.

- Well done.

Unbelievable.

Where the hell is he?

I can't believe he's not answering.

- He must be in a meeting.

- Always a meeting!

In Milan one person equals a meeting.

- He works because he loves you.

- Right!

Come on, Chicco!

There's something wrong.

Our relationship

used to be so passionate.

Now it's as exciting as

cleaning out a closet.

It's not his fault

it's the project's.

It's rough to work

every Saturday for a year.

Oh please, it's for two months.

- Nonsense, it's for a year.

- No, it's two...

A year.

He's making all these sacrifices

for you.

You're a liar and a bastard,

I can't take it anymore!

Liar!

You can hear the sea,

you can really hear the sound...

You've got a good football shot.

A bit wonky.

Not wonky, it's a special effect.

You're a bastard. Enough!

I've had enough!

You'll work Saturdays for a year.

- Not two months!

- I was going to tell you.

- Coward.

- How could I? He's always around.

Leave Mattia out of it,

he knows what love means

unlike selfish you. And you

promised we'd do Tango lessons.

- But I've got the pilot project.

- I'll give you a project...

How about this:

I want 600 euros a month in alimony,

you can see Chicco

on alternate weekends

and take him to football on Thursday

and music on Friday.

You'll pay the house tax,

I'm keeping the car

and the 6-speed hairdryer is mine!

- Mine!

- Okay, but where are you going?

- To my mother's.

- Bye, Chicco.

Bye, dad. See you soon.

- Sunday.

- Not this weekend, no.

You're a sad and grey man.

And it's not the smog

that makes you grey.

Look what I've done.

I didn't mean to, believe me.

Chin up,

the first day is the worst.

Don't be sad,

the second day is the worst.

- What are you doing?

- Sit-ups.

- Are you okay?

- Never been better.

Are you sure?

I don't feel sorry for myself,

I'm a tough Alpine soldier.

- I'm positive.

- About what?

This, for example.

To hell with grandma's slippers.

- I don't like goldfish.

- Same here.

You know, I'll play the field again.

Right, go back to bed,

rest first.

I'm talking about pulling women.

- Looking for p*ssy.

- You're hurting me.

Living.

We can talk about it at the office.

I'm not going in, I'm busy.

Say hi to everyone.

Are you ready for Milan by night?

- We're married.

- Not anymore.

Don't even joke about it.

You like it?

- Is it a wedding?

- No, it's the famous 'aperitif'.

You pay for a glass of wine

and eat all you can.

- This used to be my dinner.

- I'll start then.

- Are there any "peps"?

- What are they?

Peppers.

Where's your buffet ticket?

- Since when?

- Since people starting overdoing it.

- The 80s are over, dude.

- How much is it?

- We were...

- I've lost my appetite.

Even better than I remembered it.

- She said hello.

- That's just the start.

Look at those two, they're ours.

You choose.

Green or grey one?

- There's one small detail.

- Such a defeatist southerner.

Forget details, it's full of women.

Watch!

Excuse me...

- That was the small detail.

- I'll call Patty and Lolly.

Two old schoolmates, you'll see.

We'll stay up till dawn.

Patty, it's Alberto.

Don't you remember?

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