What Happens In Vegas... Page #6

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I deserve it.

I'm supposed...

I'm supposed to line up the hand towels

just so, and I didn't...

I didn't do it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Then she said,

"You put that toilet seat down,

"or I will put you down!"

"I'll stick your head in there

and I will make it stay!" Oh, God!

...look real, but don't, like...

- All right.

- Oh, God!

- What?

He's gotta make it look real

so it seems like she was beating you!

Not that real!

- Yeah!

- That sucker's gonna show, dude!

Hey, come on. Come on.

Can we get back to therapy now?

Yes.

Yes, we can.

Hi, you've reached the happy couple.

We can't come to the phone right now

because we're busy loving each other.

And making our marriage work.

- Leave a message!

- Leave a message!

Hi. This is Annette calling

from Dr. Twitchell's office.

Hello.

- Yes, Mrs. Fuller?

- Yes.

The doctor needed

to cancel today's session,

and she was wondering

if you could do Friday?

Do you have anything

after 3:
00 p.m., possibly?

- The doctor can do 4:00.

- Oh, perfect.

- That works for me.

- We'll see you then.

- Great, see you then.

- Thanks so much.

- She totally bought it.

- Beautiful. Beautiful.

- Beautiful.

- You owe me.

Come on with your come on

You don't fight fair

That's okay, see if I care

Blah, blah, blah, blah...

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

Hello?

Jack?

Taxi!

Come on, man! Hey!

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Wait a minute.

Oh, come on!

Twitchell... Twitchell...

Dr. Twitchell speaking.

- Yes, hi, this is Joy Fuller.

- Mrs. Fuller.

Yes. I got a phone call from Annette

saying that our session

was canceled today.

- I just wanted to double-check that.

- Your session is definitely still on.

And any absence

is considered contempt of court.

It is?

A**hole! Trying to get me

to miss therapy!

Okay.

- What?

- Hey!

Good luck paying for that cab

without your wallet.

Only five dollars?

You stole my wallet?

Lost your wallet, huh? Get out.

Come on. What do you want?

We can work something out here.

- Show me your breasts.

- What?

You'd be surprised how often it happens.

- Okay, one breast. That's all you get.

- All right.

- Nothing like a nice boob.

- What is your problem?

What? I like breasts. Sue me.

Is there any way around this?

Does it look

like there is a way around this?

Go!

so 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me

Because you look so fine

And I really wanna make you mine

- How many for 10 of these?

- Ten for $2.

- Okay. Here, take five.

- Okay.

Now you don't need that money

when you look like that, do ya honey

I know we

ain't got much to say

Before I let you get away, yeah!

There's Brooklyn.

Very exciting. Everyone, back on the bus!

What a day, huh?

Is this seat taken?

Pardon. Excuse me. Sorry.

- You are so immature!

- Please, woman!

Go away!

- That really hurt!

- Oh, no! You're hurting me!

And here we are,

Central Park.

Yes, isn't it beautiful?

Half an hour, people. That's 30 minutes

for those on the metric system.

I'll take that! You mind?

- What?

- Thank you!

Hey!

Well I could see

you home with me

But you were with another man, yeah!

I know we

ain't got much to say

Idiot!

Before I let you get away, yeah!

I said are you gonna be my girl?

No, you're wrong.

You can't remember anything.

You're remembering

your first date with somebody else!

No! It was not our first date!

You keep thinking that. You always did.

You are demented!

It was not!

- It was!

Your memory...

Mine?

You can't remember the date!

Yes, it's your...

Hi, honey! Welcome home!

Mom! Dad!

What are you doing here?

Well, I got a message from your parents,

and I thought I'd surprise you

and invite them over for dinner.

You know that I've never

been invited over here?

No! Really?

Why didn't you tell us

you got married?

I know you're still mad at me

about the firing,

but you get married and you don't tell us?

That is very, very hurtful.

- Especially...

- Dad, I...

Especially when it's a catch like Joy here.

- What?

- Well...

We're so proud of you, Jack!

We didn't think you'd ever settle down.

But then we met this wonderful girl.

You couldn't have done better!

We are very proud of you, Son.

- Okay. Love biscuit?

- Yes, tinkle monkey?

Can I speak to you for one second?

Of course!

He probably just wants

to give me a big smooch.

We haven't seen each other all day!

My God!

How weird is it going to be in court

when your parents are

character witnesses for me?

Well, obviously, you haven't

told them everything.

No, I was waiting for you to do that.

What if we didn't?

What would it take for you to just

keep this our little secret for a little bit?

I want the bathroom door back.

And I want the toilet seat left the F down.

No.

- One time up...

- I got it.

...and I make the call.

- Done.

- Okay.

Well, Jack, Sr., you know, it is just so nice

to finally meet the man

who has taught Jack everything he knows.

- I tried.

- Well, something must've stuck.

Do you know he made this bar

we're sitting at?

Isn't it beautiful? I mean, look.

Dovetail's off on the corner.

It's off!

Well, I think it's great.

I actually think that Jack

could sell his furniture.

I don't know.

That would require actually finishing it.

Maybe you should try telling Jack

you don't want him to finish it,

then maybe he would actually do it.

What are you doing on Saturday?

You've got to come to Uncle Pat's

birthday in the park with us.

I would love to.

She went after my family!

Dude, you're letting this chick

get in your head.

Yeah, I know.

Now I'm going to figure out

how to get into hers.

You should never let a chick

get in your head.

That's why I prefer

not to even talk to my dates.

Yes!

Why didn't I think of this before?

If she's going to play dirty, so am I.

- Hi.

- Hey. Jameson, on the rocks.

- You're Mason, right?

- Yeah.

I'm Jack Fuller. I'm a friend of Joy's.

- Joy's?

- Yeah.

I just wanted to give you this back.

She threw it in the trash.

But, you know, guy code, I couldn't just

let it end up in the trash.

I mean, you spent, what, like,

five, six thousand on this thing.

Actually, thirty grand.

I got it.

All right. Well, thanks.

Okay.

Hey, how's she doing?

You know, she's good.

She's probably put on some weight,

though, right?

From all the emotional eating

due to the break-up?

You really lived up to the billing.

You know that?

Joy told me

what an impressive guy you are.

Oh! Yeah.

She said she was trying to be

so perfect, because

deep down, she never really felt

like she was good enough to be with you.

But those insecurities are long gone now.

She's really come into her own.

She's on fire!

I'll tell you what, she not gonna be

on the open market for very long.

- It's a feeding frenzy out there!

- A feeding frenzy, huh? Yeah.

Well, I gotta get going.

My Uncle Pat is having a birthday party

tomorrow in Grove Park.

Joy and I are going.

Anyway, I gotta go pick up the present

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