Whatever It Takes Page #3

- He passed the Soul Quiz. | - Ryan.

- Maggie, I need your help! | - No, you don't.

You're going to be fine.

Sorry.

What kind of mongrel leaves | a call waiting?

Floyd, I can't. I got to go.

Cosmo says to check | for an Adam's apple, all right?

- Hey, Chris? | - That's me.

- Hey, it's Maggie. | - Hey, Maggie.

Listen, I'm calling you about tonight.

- You wanna hold on one second? | - Yeah.

- Maggie's going to call you. Don't answer! | - I already did.

- She wants to cancel the date. | - Yeah, the Soul Quiz?

She liked that stuff. | I don't know what happened.

- Maybe she's nervous. | - Nervous stomach?

Yeah.

Probably the pill.

All right, put me on hold | and I'll talk you through this.

But you have to keep coming back | to me, okay?

Let's start with, "I was really | looking forward to seeing you tonight. "

"We seem to have a lot in common. " | Yadda, yadda.

No, I don't think, "B*tch, we had plans," | will work.

Hold on.

Maggie?

I'm sorry about the wait.

It's cool.

Great. Now, that's my other line. | Can you hold on a second?

What happened?

- My God, your mom fell down the stairs! | - What?

Miss Carter, are you okay?

Chris, can I call you back?

- I just bought us a few seconds. | - Dude, you let it go. She's not going.

She is going! Tell her | you need to talk to a friend.

- Why? | - You're depressed.

- Your grades suck. Your father's on crack! | - My dad played pro-football.

Perfect!

- You're getting your ass kicked for that. | - I don't know what your problem is, Ryan.

She's back.

Don't screw this up.

Hold on.

Sorry.

Hello?

Chris, are you there?

Yeah. I'm here...

...baby.

You okay? You sound kind of different.

Yeah, well...

Battery's running low on my wireless. | I have to put you on speaker.

Can you hang on?

Just a second.

Sorry about that.

- Can you hear me now? | - Yeah, sort of.

Listen, I hope you're not sick.

Well, you know...

...I'm sick about this not happening.

I know I'm a jock.

I'm brainless.

Conceited, in love with myself.

That's how you must see me.

But let me tell you how I see you.

The you I see has a big heart.

She's smart, fun to hang around with.

Doesn't take my sh*t.

I like that.

I like that you look nervous sometimes | for no reason.

When you do, you bite your lip.

I like that you probably rifled | through your closet tonight...

...and settled with | what you'd started out with.

I like your smile.

I don't usually talk this way, but...

...I think being with you...

...wouldn't be irrelevant.

Know what I'm saying?

Or maybe I should stop | with all this weak sh*t.

No, it's nice.

All right.

Let's do this. No pressure.

We'll go hang out, the four of us...

...get to know each other, talk, maybe-

Swap some spit.

Okay.

- Famous! | - What?

I said, thank you.

- You thirsty? | - Yeah, sure.

Great. Why don't you get me one, too?

Good one! That's funny. | We'll get it. Ashley?

Let's go.

Jesus, I'm dying over there.

Rejection, man. You got to piss her off. | Tell her that her breath is rank.

No, I'm not telling her that.

Whatever, man. I'm telling Carter | she needs a tit job.

I'm just pulling your dick, | What do you want me to say?

Why don't you just | be the strong silent type?

If you decide to talk to her, | be nice, all right?

Tell her she looks nice. | Tell her you like her outfit.

You should tell Grant | her ass looks big in those jeans.

You look nice. I like your clothes.

Thanks.

Want some?

There's that Octopus thing. | Come on Marge, there's no line.

- Sorry, cream puff. No beverages. | - What?

That's okay. I'll just wait and hold it.

Let's go!

Tickets?

Have a nice ride.

Hey! Midget man. | Munchkin man, make it go fast.

You having a good time?

This is kind of fun.

Sorry.

- Hi. | - Hey.

Did you throw up?

No, not exactly.

Sorry, Brian. Let's go!

Can I borrow your shirt?

No way, man. I'll get cold. | Hey girls, wait up.

- What do I do to win a T-shirt? | - You break it, you rake it.

Could you help me out, pal? | I got puke all over my shirt.

So?

- He gave you his shirt? | - The ferris wheel! Let's go!

What, man? She was cold.

Hey, wait up, girls!

- I like your shirt. | - Thank you.

Madge, who do you hang out with | at Gilmore?

Because, you know, | I never see you around.

- Mostly just Ryan. | - Ryan.

- Yeah, Ryan. | - That's me. Ryan's my last name.

- Wait. Your name is Brian Ryan? | - Cruel parents.

I've told you a million times, | you've got to get a faster modem.

So, you were right. | That e-mail you sent me.

My hair looks terrible.

No, your hair doesn't look terrible. | But it hides your eyes.

You have really amazing eyes, | really pretty...

...wandering...

Besides, compared to your jeans, | your hair's a work of art.

It's really great that you like the Eels.

Other than Ryan, I don't really | know anyone else who likes them.

- The Eels? | - Yeah.

They're electric!

I can't believe you don't like these jeans. | They were really expensive!

- That's even worse. | - Shut up.

- It's the rhinestones, isn't it? | - For starters.

- Who else do you like? | - I like you.

Mommy, can I have some...

- Anything else you don't like about me? | - I could do without those shoes.

- What is wrong with my shoes? | - They're monstrous, Bigfoot!

Shut up!

I like that shirt.

- Later, Chris. | - See you, Brian.

Brian?

Well, thanks.

Bye.

- Good night. | - Good night.

The things I do for you.

- What, you didn't like him? | - I don't know.

- What's the problem? | - I'm just not sure he has any heart.

It's a beautiful spring day outside. | Most of you are graduating soon...

...you've got your entire lives ahead of you.

So, let's talk about death.

We all know lung cancer's a killer | in this country.

As is AIDS, leukaemia and diabetes.

How'd I do last night?

Okay, I guess. | She said you don't have enough heart.

Heart?

Thank you, Mister Campbell.

Heart disease is the correct answer.

Nice.

Last year alone, over five...

- Make sure you finish Chapter 14. | - It could be worse.

- Grant didn't think you have any stones. | - What? She said that?

You're going to play football | with me and the guys today.

- She'll be there? | - Yeah. She loves it.

I'll make you look great.

Hey, is Ashley okay?

She's different than I expected.

You go out with your dream girl | and you don't like her?

No, it's not that.

Finger suck, good. Vomit shower, bad.

She's nervous. She gets that way | when she really likes somebody.

You gonna play with us today?

- Touch football, right? | - Of course.

Get up man, she's watching.

Time out! I thought you said | this was touch football?

These guys just touch hard.

I am not doing this!

These guys are like some huge | gargantuan experiment gone wrong!

Come on, Grant's loving it.

Ouch!

Get up, man.

I used to play a little ball back in the day.

Back in what day?

- Ready to end this thing, Brian? | - Who the hell's Brian?

Nice.

Just snap it to Brian. You're following me?

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