When Harry Met Sally Page #4

She didn't even complain about it.

She said it matter-of-factly.

She said they were up all night,

they were both exhausted,

the kids took every sexual impulse

they had out of them.

Joe and I would say "We're so lucky.

We have this wonderful relationship."

"We can have sex on the kitchen floor

and not worry about the kids walking in."

"We can fly off to Rome

on a moment's notice."

Then one day I was taking

Alice's girl for the afternoon

cos I promised to take her to the circus.

We were in the cab playing I-spy.

"I spy a mailbox", "I spy a lamppost".

And she looked out the window

and she saw this man and woman

with these two little kids, and the man

had one of the kids on his shoulders.

And she said "I spy a family."

And I started to cry.

You know, I just started crying.

And I went home

and I said "The thing is, Joe,

we never do fly off to Rome

on a moment's notice."

And the kitchen floor...?

Not once. It's this very cold,

hard, Mexican ceramic tile.

Anyway,

we talked about it for a long time. I said

"This is what I want" and he said "I don't".

And I said "Well, I guess it's over."

And he left.

And the thing is, I... I feel really fine.

I am over him.

I mean, I really am over him.

That was it for him.

That was the most that he could give.

And every time I think about it, I am more

and more convinced I did the right thing.

Boy, you sound really healthy.

Yeah.

- At least I got the apartment.

- That's what everybody says to me.

But really, what's so hard about finding an

apartment? You read the obituary column.

You find out who died, go to the building,

and then you tip the doorman.

It'd be easier if they combined

obituaries with the real-estate section.

Then you have "Mr Klein died,

leaving a wife, two children

and a spacious three-bedroom

apartment with a wood-burning fireplace."

The first time we met

I really didn't like you that much.

- I didn't like you.

- Yeah, you did.

You were just so uptight then.

You're much softer now.

I hate that kind of remark. It sounds

like a compliment, but it's an insult.

OK, you're still as hard as nails.

I didn't wanna sleep with you

so you wrote it off as a character flaw,

instead of dealing with the possibility

it might have something to do with you.

What's the statute of limitations

on apologies?

- Ten years.

- I can just get it in under the wire.

Would you like to have

dinner with me sometime?

Are we becoming friends now?

Well...

Yeah.

Great! A woman friend.

You may be the first attractive woman I've

not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.

That's wonderful, Harry.

- We were born in the same hospital,...

- ln 1921 .

- ..seven days apart.

- ln the same hospital.

- We both grew up one block apart.

- We lived in tenements.

- On the Lower East Side.

- On Delancey Street.

- I moved to the Bronx when I was ten.

- He lived on Fordham Road.

- She moved when she was 1 1 .

- I lived on 183rd Street.

- She worked on the 1 5th floor as a nurse.

- I worked for a prominent neurologist,...

- I had a practice on the 14th floor.

- ..Dr Permelman.

- We never met.

- Never met.

- Can you imagine that?

- D'you know where we met? An elevator.

- I was visiting family.

- ln the Ambassador Hotel.

He was on the third floor,

I was on the 1 2th.

I rode up nine extra floors

just to keep talking to her.

Nine extra floors.

- Hello.

- You sleeping?

- No, I was watching "Casablanca".

- Channel?

- Eleven.

- Thank you. Got it.

So you'd be happier with Victor Laszlo

than with Humphrey Bogart?

- When did I say that?

- When we drove to New York.

- I never said that. I'd never say that.

- All right, fine. Have it your way.

- Have you been sleeping?

- Why?

Cos I haven't been sleeping.

I really miss Helen.

Maybe I'm coming down with something. I

watched "Leave It to Beaver" in Spanish.

"Buenos das, Seor Cleaver.

?Dnde estn Wallace y Theodore?"

I'm not well.

I went to bed at 7.30.

I haven't done that since third grade.

That's the good thing

about depression - you rest.

- I'm not depressed.

- OK. Fine.

Do you still sleep

on the same side ofthe bed?

I did for a while,

but now I'm using the whole bed.

God, that's great. I feel weird

when just my leg wanders over.

I miss her.

- I don't miss him. I really don't.

- Not even a little?

You know what I miss?

I miss the idea ofhim.

Maybe I only miss the idea ofHelen.

No, I miss the whole Helen.

Last scene.

Goodbye, Rick. God bless you.

lngrid Bergman. She's low maintenance.

- Low maintenance?

- There are two kinds of women.

- High maintenance and low maintenance.

- And lngrid is low maintenance?

An LM, definitely.

- Which one am I?

- The worst kind.

You're high maintenance,

but you think you're low.

- I don't see that.

- You don't see that?

"Waiter, a house salad,

but not the regular dressing."

"I'll have balsamic vinegar - on the side."

"Then salmon with mustard sauce,

but I want the sauce on the side."

- "On the side" is a big thing for you.

- I just want it the way I want it.

I know. High maintenance.

.. 10,000F should pay our expenses.

Our expenses?

Louis, I think this is the beginning

of a beautiful friendship.

Best last line of a movie ever.

I'm definitely coming down with

something. Probably a 24-hour tumour.

- You don't have a tumour.

- How do you know?

- If you're so worried, go see a doctor.

- No, he'll just tell me it's nothing.

- Will you be able to sleep?

- If not, I'll be OK.

- What'll you do?

- I'll stay up and moan.

Maybe I should practise now.

Good night, Harry.

Good night.

I had my dream again - where I'm making

love and Olympic judges are watching?

I'd nailed the compulsories,

so this is it:
the finals.

I got a 9.8 from the Canadian,

a perfect 10 from the American,

and my mother, disguised as

an East German judge, gave me a 5.6.

Must've been the dismount.

Basically it's the same one

I've had since I was 1 2.

- What happens?

- No, it's... It's too embarrassing.

- Don't tell me.

- OK, there's this guy.

- What's he look like?

- I don't know. He's just kinda faceless.

A faceless guy. OK. Then what happens?

He rips off my clothes.

- Then what happens?

- That's it.

That's it? A faceless guy

rips off your clothes.

And that's the sex fantasy you've had

since you were 12. Exactly the same?

Well, sometimes I vary it a little.

- Which part?

- What I'm wearing.

- What?

- Nothing.

I have decided that for today

we are going to talk like this.

- Like this?

- No. To repeat after me.

- Pepper.

- Pepper.

- Pepper.

- Pepper!

- Pepper.

- Pepper.

- Pepper.

- Pepper.

Waiter, there is too much pepper

on my paprikash.

Waiter, there is too much pepper

on my paprikash.

But I would be proud

to partake of your pecan pie.

Oh, no!

- But I would be proud.

- But I would be proud.

- To partake.

- To partake.

- Of your pecan pie.

- Of your pecan pie.

- Pecan pie.

- Pecan pie.

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