When Harry Met Sally Page #5

- Pecan pie.

- Pecan pie!

- Would you like to go to the movies?

- Would you like to go...

Not to repeat. Please, to answer. Would

you like to go to the movies tonight?

Well, I'd love to, Harry, but I can't.

What do you have? A hot date?

- Well, yeah. Yeah.

- Really?

Yeah. I was gonna tell you,

but, I don't know, I felt strange about it.

- Why?

- Cos we've spent so much time together.

I think it's great that you have a date.

- You do?

- Yeah.

- Is that what you're gonna wear?

- Yeah.

Well, I don't know. Why?

I think you should wear skirts more.

You look really good in skirts.

- I do?

- Yeah.

I think hieroglyphics are really a comic

strip about a character named Sphinxy.

- Harry, you should get out there, too.

- I'm not ready.

- You should.

- I would not be good for anybody now.

It's time.

It was the most

uncomfortable night of my life.

See, no, it has to go this way.

The first date back

is always the toughest, Harry.

You only had one date.

- How do you know it won't get worse?

- How much worse can it get

than finishing dinner, having him pull

a hair out of my head and floss with it?

We're talking dream date

compared to my horror.

It started out fine.

She's a very nice person.

And we're talking in this Ethiopian

restaurant she wanted to go to.

I was making jokes, like

"I didn't know they had food in Ethiopia."

"This'll be a quick meal. I'll order

two empty plates and we can leave."

Yeah! Nothing from her, not even a smile.

I downshift into small talk

and ask where she went to school.

She says Michigan State.

And this reminds me of Helen.

All of a sudden I'm in the middle

of an anxiety attack -

my heart's beatin' fast

and I start sweatin' like a pig.

- Helen went to Michigan State?

- No, Northwestern.

But they're both Big Ten schools.

I got so upset

I had to leave the restaurant.

Harry, I think this takes a long time.

It might be months before we're able

to enjoy going out with someone new.

Yeah.

Maybe longer before we're able

to go to bed with someone new.

I went to bed with her.

- You went to bed with her?!

- Sure.

- I don't understand this relationship.

- What d'ya mean?

- Enjoy being with her?

- Yeah.

- You find her attractive?

- Yeah.

- And you're not sleeping with her?

- No.

You're afraid to let yourself be happy.

Why can't you gimme credit for this?

This is a big thing for me.

I never had a relationship with a woman

that didn't involve sex. I'm growing.

- Are you finished?

- I got a stack o' quarters. I was here first.

- Were not.

- Was too.

- Were not!

- Was too!

- Big jerk.

- Little creep.

- Where was I?

- You were growing.

Yeah.

It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.

Are you saying you can say things to her

you can't say to me?

No, it's just a different perspective.

I get the woman's point of view on things.

She tells me about the men she sees,

and I talk to her about the women I see.

- You tell her about other women?

- Yeah.

Like the other night, I made love

to this woman and it was incredible.

I took her to a place that wasn't human.

She actually meowed.

- You made a woman meow?

- Yeah, and I can say these things to her.

And the great thing is, I don't have to lie

because I don't wanna get her into bed.

- I can just be myself.

- You made a woman meow?

What do you do with these women?

Just get up and leave?

- Sure.

- Explain how you do it. What do you say?

I say I have an early meeting,

early squash game.

- You don't play squash.

- They don't know that. They just met me.

- That's disgusting.

- I know. I feel terrible.

I'm so glad I never got involved with you.

I just would've been some woman you

had to get outta bed and leave at 3am

and go clean your andirons.

You don't even have a fireplace.

- Not that I would know this.

- Why are you upset? This isn't about you.

Yes, it is! You are a human affront

to all women, and I am a woman.

Hey, I don't hear anyone complaining.

Of course not.

You're out the door too fast.

- I think they have an OK time.

- How do you know?

What d'ya mean how do I know? I know.

- Because they...

- Yes, because they...

- How do you know that they're really...

- What're you saying? They fake orgasm?

- It's possible.

- Get outta here!

Why? Most women

at one time or another have faked it.

- They haven't faked it with me.

- How do you know?

Because I know.

Right. That's right.

I forgot. You're a man.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- Nothing.

All men are sure it never happened

to them and most women have done it,

so you do the math.

You don't think I could tell the difference?

- No.

- Get outta here.

Are you OK?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah, right there.

Oh, God.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Oh, yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, God.

I'll have what she's having.

~ Sleigh bells ring

~ Are you listening?

~ ln the lane snow is glistening

~ A beautiful sight

~ We're happy tonight

~ Walking in a winter wonderland

~ Gone away is the bluebird

~ Here to stay is a new bird

~ He sings a love song as we go along

~ Walking in a winter wonderland

~ ln the meadow we can build a snowman

~ And pretend that he is Parson Brown

~ He'll say "Are you married?"

~ We'll say "No, man"

~ "But you can do thejob

when you're in town, brother"

~ Later on we'll conspire

~ As we dream by the fire

~ To face unafraid the plans that we made

~ Walking in a winter wonderland

~ lfthey asked me

~ I could write a book

~ About the way you walk and whisper...

- I like you with no beard. I see your face.

- It is my face!

Whoa! Dipping you.

- Thank you for taking me out tonight.

- Don't be silly.

The next New Year's Eve, if neither

of us is with anybody, you got a date.

Deal.

See? Now we can dance cheek to cheek.

~ lsjust to tell them

~ That I love you a lot

~ Then the world discovers

~ As my book ends

~ How to make two lovers

~ Of friends

Hey, everybody!

Ten seconds to New Year!

- Ten,...

- Wanna get some air?

- Yeah.

- ..seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

- Happy New Year.

- Happy New Year.

He was a head counsellor at boys' camp,

I was a head counsellor at girls' camp,

and they had a social one night,

and he walked across the room.

I thought he was coming

to talk to my friend Maxine,

cos people were always

crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.

But he was coming to talk to me,

and he said

"I'm Ben Small

of the Coney lsland Smalls."

At that moment I knew. I knew

the way you know about a good melon.

You sent flowers to yourself.

$60 I spent on this big arrangement

of flowers, and I wrote a card

that I planned to leave on the table

where Arthur would just happen to see it.

What did the card say?

"Please say yes. Love Jonathan."

- Did it work?

- He never even came over.

He forgot a charity thing his wife is

chairman of. He's never gonna leave her!

- Of course he isn't.

- You're right. I know you're right.

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