Whip It Page #4

away the judges in speed trials,

and you could certainly see why tonight.

And now Manson Number 1 takes out Eva.

Feeling the heat Ruthless is bringing,

and she gets through for the score.

(BUZZER SOUNDING)

And Ruthless gets four points.

PASH:
Go, Babe Ruthless.

Babe Ruthless scored the

last four points of the game,

but the Widows take this one home.

Congratulations, you still suck.

(ALL WHOOPING)

That's great. Celebrate

mediocrity. That's fantastic.

Yeah, it's all a big joke.

We came second.

We came second. You came second.

We came in second out

of two teams. Nice.

ALL:
(CHANTING) We're

Number 2. We're Number 2.

We're Number 2. We're Number 2.

We're Number 2. ROSA:

Razor, come on. You did good.

Well, I didn't throw up.

That'll do. Good thing.

Hey. Hey.

Oh, my God. I take back what l

said about you not being tough.

You kicked ass. Really?

Oh, yeah. And I saw that

guy you liked. You did?

Mmm-hmm. But then I lost him.

Bliss. Hey, Hot Tubs.

Oh, I can't. I gotta get home to my man.

No. Yes. Great game.

Yeah, man, that was good.

What's Hot Tubs? Yeah?

Oh, well, here at the

Warehouse. . he's Johnny Rocket.

But here he's "Hot Tub" Johnny.

Even though he's not allowed in,

we started calling him "Hot Tub"

until he got us one.

Huh.

All right. Check it out.

No. that's . the thing.

Coke? You swallowed?

(CHUCKLES) That's hilarious.

Not in this lifetime, Johnny.

Or the next one.

Hey.

(LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

What's up, ladies?

ShouId we help him?

Nah. That's her fianc. He

loves it. SMASHLEY: I love you.

That's my fianc. Hey.

(GRUNTS)

EVA:
You know, there's some stuff

I'm pretty sure I could teach you.

(CHUCKLES) Johnny.

MAN:
Y'all check it out.

He's not even in anymore, man.

(SlNGING) ...I need you tonight, tonight

It's gonna be all right

'Cause you are in my sight

All night, all night

Tonight, tonight, aIl night

Hey, sweet thing, will you please bring

That one thing, it makes my heart sing

Why? 'Cause I need it

SMASHLEY:
Hey, man, check this out.

That's not a bruise. That's a bruise.

SMASHLEY:
Yeah. you look

pretty good. That's nice, huh?

Pash?

(UNATTAINABLE PLAYING)

Nice choice.

Yeah?

Yeah, and I love this one.

So where you from?

(CHUCKLES)

Well, I hail from the bustling

metropolis known as Bodeen, Texas.

Uh, the tiny town,

right? Off of South 84?

That would be the one.

You live alone?

Roommate.

Me, too. Four of them.

Why Bodeen? If you don't mind

me asking. What do you do there?

By day, I work at the Oink Joint.

But by night... MAN: Oliver. Oliver.

(LAUGHS) Oliver.

One second.

Oliver.

Get your ass down here. You

left Jasper's guitar in your car.

All right, dill weed.

Shut up, douche bag.

Nimrod. Tampon.

Tool.

(SIGHS)

What are you doing in approximately

five and a half minutes?

No official plans.

Great.

I'll go bring you something.

There she is. All by herself.

Hey. MAVEN:
Don't fight it.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Let's get a beer.

Oh, my God.

Okay, you can make out

with him. But that is it.

PASH:
Who are you, my mother?

Pash?

(SQUEALS)

(LAUGHS)

Savage and I have been

looking everywhere for you.

Yeah, I bet.

My belly hurts.

There's a storm in there.

lt really does, though.

Come on. Hold on. Hold

on. Let's get this.

(BURPS)

It's cool. I swallowed it.

No, come on. Just stick

your fingers in your throat.

No, you stick your

finger down your throat.

Pash. Have you ever thought

about your parents making love?

Your dad's naked body?

What?

His balls jiggling.

(GRUNTS)

Sweaty. No.

(RETCHING)

That's not fair.

Could you get me a washcloth?

Yeah.

I'm sorry I ruined your kind of date.

But I want dirt.

His name's Oliver. It's a great name.

Yeah, if you like wayfaring

Dickensian orphans.

(BLISS SIGHS)

You're gonna have to roll over.

You smell like a dead goat.

(CHUCKLES)

Sorry.

(EXHALES) Ugh.

Hey, girl. How was the sleepover?

Fine.

BROOKE:
Bliss, are you ready yet?

The Blue Bonnet brunch is in an hour.

Did you forget?

You think you have all

the time in the world,

but there's not many girls who

are both smart and pretty like you.

And I hate to admit it, but the

pretty part doesn't last forever.

You got to make the most of

what you have while you can.

Nobody tells you that.

Mom, you're still really beautiful.

Save your sarcasm for later.

How's your inspiration speech coming?

I'm working on it.

You want me to read it?

Not yet. Later?

(JOLENE PLAYING ON RADIO)

(SINGING) Bodeen, Bodeen, Bodeen, Bodeen

Someone get me out of here, Bodeen

It's depressing in the sticks

I'm aIl over these racist hicks

And I'm jonesing for an Austin fix

Yeah. That's right.

Bodeen, Bodeen, Bodeen, Bodeen

(EXCLAIMS)

(THUDS)

BLISS:
Oh, my God, it's him.

What do I do?

Go ask him if he wants a Squealer.

Are you stalking me?

No, ma'am.

l happen to be here in Bodeen on

business craving some barbeque.

And, yeah, I'm stalking you.

Okay.

Can you take a break?

(PANTING)

You owe me. I wasn't even

supposed to work today.

l love you.

Is this you?

(SIGHS)

Technically, it's my brother's

band. But, yes, I am in it.

And I'll be taking that from you now.

Wow. From here it kind of looks like

you're wearing a Stryper T-shirt.

Stryper? Yeah, '80s

Christian heavy metal.

l mean, "In the name

of Jesus, we rock."

(CHUCKLES)

Well, I suppose if

it's in His name then.

What's this? What's this three

million five hundred and...

Oh, that's nothing.

You wanna know? I wanna know.

It's a little thing called a high score.

At just the right... Go. Nice shot.

Is this what you do with all the girls?

You take them here to

show off your skills?

Yeah. And it usually works, too.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe we should do something different.

(SINGING) Stars at

night are big and bright

BOTH:
Deep in the heart of Texas

l should probably get to practice.

Sh*t.

Um...

I think I might have lost my keys.

BLISS:
Marco. Polo.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco!

Polo!

Found them.

Cool, I guess we can go now.

Oops.

I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna tear you up. I know.

l am going to...

l realize this. I realize this.

(BUZZER SOUNDING)

HOLLY:
Holy crap, you guys.

We almost won that one.

ROSA:
Yeah, almost.

You know, Razor's play actually worked.

Man, maybe we ought to learn new plays.

What's up, Hurl Scouts?

That was so good out there.

lt was really cute to

see y'all trying so hard.

(LAUGHING)

I hate her.

Bliss. Yeah?

Remember all that stuff I said

about winning not mattering?

Forget it.

l wanna beat that cocky b*tch.

Me, too.

(ALL WHOOPING)

WINNING PLAYER:
On my team. Yeah!

Look what Corbi did.

With all that combined brain power,

this is the best they

could come up with?

BLISS:
They got your freckles.

That they did.

(SQUEAKING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, are you all right?

You can't do that.

She just did.

We deserve better villains.

JOHNNY ON PA.. Just

a few minutes gone by,

but the game Is already

faIling into a familiar pattern,

giving the Fight

Attendants an 1 8-to-6 lead.

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