Wife Vs. Secretary Page #5

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I was thinking that.

I called you at the office

and left a message to be called back.

Why didn't you?

Well, I didn't go back to the office,

I was at the club all afternoon.

- What'd you want?

- Oh, nothing.

Come on, now.

What was it you wanted to tell me?

It's too late, won't talk now.

Well, it probably

wasn't anything important, anyhow.

Well, you're not going to get it out of me

that way.

Well, what'd you want to tell me?

Oh, the mood's gone. It's all different now.

Oh, it is, eh?

The mood's gone, eh?

The mood's gone, eh? It is?

You know, the first time

you bid three spades tonight,

I am definitely going to break

that lovely little neck of yours.

That tie's been remade since this morning.

Hey, you are observant.

Well, I was swimming at the club

and one of the boys had to do it.

The world's divided

into two kinds of people.

Those who believe that bow-tie ends

should be sticking out,

and those who don't.

Personally I'm very tolerant, ask anybody.

But anyone who believes a bow-tie end

should stick out,

should be deported from this country.

Boiling in oil is too good for them.

That's the way I feel about it, too.

Stand still.

Our butcher sends us

the most inconsiderate chickens.

We never have chicken livers like this.

I think Molly puts egg or something in it.

Ted, I never saw you looking better

in your life.

What are you doing

with yourself, anyway?

What's the matter, dear?

What do you want?

Simpson. Will you get Anne

some more chicken livers, darling?

Well, I discovered that to keep in trim,

you have to spend some time at it.

Now, once a week, now,

no matter how busy I am,

I take the afternoon off and go to the club.

I've been swimming in that pool

all afternoon today,

and I can tell you I feel like a new man.

You ought to get Van to do that.

I haven't seen him at the club in months.

Thank you.

Van, you don't take enough exercise.

- You...

- I wish you'd let Molly make you up

- a little jar of chicken livers.

- Oh, thanks.

- She'll give you a recipe, too.

- Oh, no, Linda.

It's no trouble at all.

- Want one?

- Yes, thanks.

Molly, will you make up a little jar

of chicken livers for Mrs. Barker,

- and then write out the recipe, please?

- Yes, yes.

But I have no little jar.

- Good evening, Mrs. Stanhope.

- Good evening, Finney.

- Finney, will you run an errand?

- Yes, ma'am.

You've had your dinner, haven't you?

No, ma'am. I took Miss Wilson home

after I brought Mr. Stanhope.

I see.

Don't you want me

to run the errand, ma'am?

Yes. Yes, Finney.

Have your dinner,

and then get Molly a little jar.

Yes, ma'am.

Ted just said that he told Anne tonight

he thought

we were a couple of card cheats.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that.

Tighter.

You know, I could get you skates.

Oh, no. I don't feel like it. I'll just watch.

- There you are.

- Well, here goes nothing.

I wouldn't sit here if I was cold, Linda.

I'm all bundled up.

How long are we going to stay?

Not long. I'm not very crazy about this.

They sent me an engraved invitation,

so I ought to stay a while.

- Good evening, Mrs. Stanhope.

- Good evening, Miss Wilson.

- Aren't you skating?

- No, I don't think I ought to.

- I've got an awful cold.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- May I borrow your husband?

- You're quite welcome.

- Thank you. May I?

- A privilege and a pleasure.

- Keep bundled up, now.

- I will.

It's marvelous there's a spirit in

the organization to have affairs like this.

Don't you think, V. S?

When we're dancing or skating,

I'm not V.S.

Yes, Van.

- Look, Crack the Whip. Are you game?

- Certainly.

Oh, my feet.

- How did you get out of skating?

- I have a cold.

Lucky you.

- The husband's skating, or the boyfriend?

- The husband.

So is mine, if I can find him.

This is going pretty good.

- Were you here last year?

- Yes, I skated last year.

- How long have you been with Stanhope?

- With Stanhope?

Oh, three years.

Say, there's Stanhope now.

- Where?

- Over there.

The man with the beard?

Oh, he's very interesting.

That's my husband.

Oh, see him? That's Stanhope over there.

The good-looking one.

He is good-looking, isn't he?

Who's that with him?

His secretary.

He's married, isn't he?

So is my husband.

But his secretary's 40 if she's a day.

Why, you're not going, Linda?

Tell Van I'll be waiting for him in the car.

- Certainly.

- Thank you.

Oh, what fun!

You know, next year I'd like to surprise

them and do some figure skating.

Yeah, your figure was doing all right.

What do you mean?

It went over pretty big with Stanhope,

didn't it?

Darling, you're kidding, aren't you?

I told you once that knowing millionaires

like him spoiled you.

- For guys like me, anyway.

- Dave.

Maybe I meant it would eventually

spoil you for yourself.

You've been sitting here thinking that?

I've been a chump.

Maybe I should have thought it all along.

I've got taxi fare home, Dave.

And I don't need your ring, either.

I guess you never needed it, or anything.

- Linda's waiting for you in the car.

- All right.

Well, good night, kids.

Stay as long as you like.

But if any of you are five minutes late

tomorrow morning, you're fired.

Good old boss.

Just a minute.

You said you'd give me a minute.

Well, what is it?

Miss Miller's husband

is taking her to Europe,

and she's leaving a hole

that we won't be able to fill very easily.

Now, I thought if Whitey...

It's 10:
30, ma'am.

Thank you, Finney.

How's your cold, dear?

It wasn't improved any waiting outside.

I'm sorry, darling.

I didn't realize I was so long.

You know, Linda,

I was offered a chance to do something

unselfish tonight, and I didn't take it.

What was it?

One of the department heads

wants Whitey for an assistant,

and I wouldn't let her go.

Why not?

Well, I'm not really sure it's a promotion.

And I've managed to convince myself

that she's more valuable as my secretary.

Well, I'm being selfish

for the good of the company.

You know, it's amazing how a man

can twist logic to suit his own ends.

I think you should give her the promotion.

But it'd take years

to make another Whitey.

Well, I'd appreciate it

if you'd give her the job.

You gals certainly stick together.

You know, you'd rather see

Whitey promoted than me comfortable.

It's really my own comfort I'm thinking of.

Do you know that I sat

next to a young lady tonight,

who didn't know I was Mrs. Stanhope,

and who was convinced that

Whitey was one of those secretaries?

What? Did somebody say that?

Well, after all, Van,

she is an uncommonly good-looking girl.

I don't know of anyone in our crowd

who's as attractive.

And people aren't willing to believe

that looks go with brains.

Well, one of the smallest troubles

we've ever had, Linda,

thank heaven,

is caring what other people think.

Shall I tell you something

very frankly, Van?

I care.

Please give her the promotion.

Well, I certainly wouldn't give it to her

for that reason,

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