Wild Hogs Page #12

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON

The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the

wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once

again, but suddenly Doug smiles...

On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are

several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to

the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis.

The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes.

Bob immediately falls to the ground.

BOB:

Dammit! Leg's asleep.

The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike

and falls to the ground.

DUDLEY:

Me, too.

DOUG:

You guys have to shift every once in

awhile. Blood has to circulate.

A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their

sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar.

WOODY:

Now this is the best part of any road

trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels.

Look at this place. America!

The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack

of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front.

DOUG:

Look at these bikes. They're all

classics.

BOB:

Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead.

You know how rare this thing is?

The guys all crowd around the bike.

DOUG:

Yeah, but why didn't he customize it?

You have a 51 panhead and you don't

chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an

eagle on the gas tank? What a waste.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44.

WOODY:

Probably no good custom stores out here

in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog.

The guys push open the door and step into the bar.

INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS

The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw

before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing.

We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn

and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY.

DOUG:

(TO BIKERS)

How's it going?

BOB:

Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends.

I'm surprised we've never seen you in

Daytona.

The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of

the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's -

and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces.

JACK:

Yeah, how do we keep missing that?

The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though

they don't quite get what's so funny.

JACK (CONT'D)

So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your

gang?

DOUG:

Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends

that ride... you know.

JACK:

So it's like a little hobby for you guys?

How sweet.

Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks

back for the exit.

DUDLEY:

(TO JACK)

Yeah, just a little hobby for us.

(MORE)

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45.

DUDLEY (CONT'D)

We're all successful professionals in

real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday

afternoons... We're bikers!

Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his

jacket.

JACK:

Wow. That's great. Can I try that on?

DUDLEY:

Hell yeah, brother.

Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who

pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang,

who laugh again. Dudley does, too.

DUDLEY (CONT'D)

So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet

ride. Woody has a catalog so you can

make it cool.

WOODY:

No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's

great the way it is.

Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs.

JACK:

(TO DUDLEY)

Well, if you like my '51, we should

trade... "brother."

DOUG:

DUDLEY--

DUDLEY:

(IGNORING DOUG)

I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's

worth, like, half of yours.

JACK:

A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on.

I've been wanting another Sportster.

It's a deal!

DUDLEY:

Seriously? You're serious!?

DOUG:

Dudley, maybe you should--

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46.

DUDLEY:

Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a

cooler bike than you, but that doesn't

mean I'll get all cocky.

DOUG:

DUDLEY--

DUDLEY:

Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a

panhead now! I'm better than you!

JACK:

Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look

on it.

Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and

Woody share an uncertain look.

WOODY:

Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling?

EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS

Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on

the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him.

JACK:

Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My

' 51 panhead is right over there.

Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles.

Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to

an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused.

DUDLEY:

That? That's a piece of junk.

JACK:

Yup. Your piece of junk.

Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good.

Doug tries to laugh it off.

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