Wild Hogs Page #14

WOODY:

Yup. And I think they'll give us

Dudley's bike on the way back, so let's

go. Quick. Before they change their

mind.

Woody quickly starts his bike and rides on. The guys

shrug, impressed, and follow him.

After a moment, we see them all speed by the bar.

INT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

Jack is playing darts with the other bikers. He goes to

throw a dart and hears engines roar past the bar outside.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 51.

He quickly turns, which makes the dart he was throwing

fly off target and stick into the shoulder of one of the

bikers, (OILCAN).

OILCAN:

Ow! Sh*t, man!

Jack listens as the engines pass the bar and fade away.

Jack shakes his head, enraged.

JACK:

Saddle up, boys. Somebody doesn't listen.

The guys nod and head outside. Oilcan pulls the dart out

of his shoulder, and stops by Jack on the way out.

OILCAN:

Try and watch the throws, okay Jack?

Jack glares at oilcan for a beat, then jabs a dart into

his peck.

OILCAN (CONT'D)

Owww! Jesus!

(off Jack's icy glare)

Sorry.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BIKER BAR - A MINUTE LATER

The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their

motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and

the bikes sputter and choke to a stop.

ANGLE ON:
JACK. He's on his hog, with a cigarette

dangling out of his mouth. He looks down in confusion at

the suddenly stalled bike.

JACK:

What the f--

(sees cut gas line)

You've gotta be kidding me.

Suddenly, the cigarette falls out of Jacks mouth, and

onto the ground. A puddle of gas from the sliced line

catches on fire.

JACK (CONT'D)

sh*t.

The flames quickly follow the line of leaked gas like a

fuse, back towards the bar.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 52.

Almost as quickly as the bikers can turn to look, the

flame has reached the parking area and ignited all the

puddles of gas. They all watch in horror as the fire

ravenously engulfs the old wooden porch of the bar, then

the roof ...

EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - SAME TIME

The guys happily cruise along the highway. We see WOODY

look in his side-view mirror and notice a large, black

plume of smoke back in the distance. A look of worry

creeps over his face.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOTEL - THAT EVENING

The guys pull up to a small motel, as the sun sets behind

the wheat fields of Kansas.

WOODY:

No, we're not stopping here. Riding at

night is half the fun. Let's just keep--

DOUG:

--I can't feel my nuts, Woody. And Kelly

still wants another kid.

DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY head inside the motel office.

WOODY:

(calling after Doug)

So, adopt a kid. You already have two

white ones, anyway.

The guys ignore him. Woody looks back down the highway

uneasily, then heads inside the motel office.

EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

JACK, and the other bikers stand by the smoldering pile

of wood that was once their bar. OILCAN approaches Jack.

OILCAN:

I got my old lady bringing some gas. We

can get moving by nightfall.

JACK:

(BOILING)

Forget it. Those guys are long gone.

(MORE)

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 53.

JACK (CONT'D)

They're not stupid enough to stop until

they're five hundred miles from here.

CUT TO:

INT. MOTEL ROOM - SAME TIME

DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY are in their motel room. WOODY

stands at the window, nervously looking outside.

WOODY:

(TO GUYS)

I just think it's just stupid to stop

this soon, you know?... We can keep

riding under the stars. All night.

DOUG:

Woody, your headlight doesn't even work.

WOODY:

You think I won't ride without light? I

can feel the road. Let's go. I'll even

race somebody. Who's racing me?

DOUG:

Did you inhale exhaust fumes? Because

something is happening to your brain. I

think it might be retardation.

WOODY:

I just want to ride. Let's go!

DOUG:

Whatever, Corky.

Doug shrugs Woody off and dials his cell phone.

DOUG (CONT'D)

(INTO PHONE)

Hey, honey. It's me.

Woody glares at Doug.

WOODY:

You're calling Kelly? You're not aloud

to call wives on a road trip.

DOUG:

(TO WOODY)

I can call my wife whenever I want.

(INTO PHONE)

Yeah. Woody. Good guess...

(MORE)

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 54.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Yeah, I'm having a great time. No old

Doug, yet, but I haven't gotten sun-

burned...

Woody looks at Bob.

WOODY:

You agree with me, right?

BOB:

Yeah, I actually agree with you on this

one. Let's not call wives.

DOUG:

(INTO PHONE)

Yeah, Bob agreed with him. Good guess

again. Man, I really miss you.

WOODY:

Are you kidding me? I have to leave.

Let me know when lame hour is over.

DOUG:

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