Wild Hogs Page #8

DOUG:

We are going to be married fifty more

years, Kelly. I'm going to find old

Doug. I just have to figure out where to

look.

Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it

to Doug, who looks at it.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Woody's map?

KELLY:

I took it away from him at the party. He

wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and

Dudley.

DOUG:

I thought you agreed it was a bad idea.

KELLY:

It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I

want us to be happy again. So go on it.

It's my anniversary present to you.

DOUG:

Really?

(considers, then)

I only got you an ankle bracelet.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28.

KELLY:

All I want is old Doug back. Please.

This marriage can't survive without him.

Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good

wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room.

BOB:

Doug! Are you okay?

DOUG:

Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress.

BOB:

Oh, man. Thank god.

KELLY:

(TO BOB)

Where's Karen?

BOB:

Oh, she's waiting in the parking--

SFX:
A loud honk from the parking lot.

BOB (CONT'D)

That's her.

Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug.

KELLY:

You all need this trip.

Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob.

DOUG:

Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike

week. Let's ride across U.S. 50.

BOB:

Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be

leaving behind everything we're used to.

SFX:
The horn honks again from outside.

KAREN (O.C.)

(yelling from parking lot)

Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not

circling!!

Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob:

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29.

DOUG:

Yeah. I think that might be okay.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK

DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear

(sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He

approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and

DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an

entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys

all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear.

WOODY:

(TO DUDLEY)

What? What's wrong with you?

DUDLEY:

I got a tat.

BOB:

A tattoo? You got a tattoo?

DUDLEY:

I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat!

Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he

is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep

is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying

to look impressed.

DOUG:

Wow. That's...

DUDLEY:

Trademarked, I know. But what are they

going to do? It's in my skin, b*tch!

Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a

bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody.

DOUG:

You're not wearing a helmet?

WOODY:

Nape. I don't want anything between me

and the road, man.

DOUG:

You will if your head falls on it.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30.

Woody shrugs and starts his bike.

WOODY:

Look, the only rule on this trip is to

have no plan. We're riding to San

Francisco, and nothing else is planned.

Just riding free.

DOUG:

Well, if we're going to make it in five

days, we'll should probably get to

Illinois by tonight.

BOB:

Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should

be a hundred miles past St. Louis by

sundown.

WOODY:

What? No. No plan. It's the open road.

Who knows where we'll be.

DOUG:

I do. I have this little GPS system.

Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it

and throws it into a storm drain.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Hey! What the hell, man? That was

expensive!

WOODY:

I did it for the good of the trip, Doug.

You don't need GPS to discover America.

We just need the wind, our bikes, and

freedom. And if we have an emergency, I

always have a cell phone--

Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it

in the storm drain.

DOUG:

Hah! How's that feel?

Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles.

WOODY:

It felt good. It felt damn good.

(ANNOUNCES)

No cell phones!

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31.

DOUG:

(WORRIED)

What?

BOB:

He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!

Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

DOUG:

(TO BOB)

You just did that so Karen wouldn't call.

BOB:

Yup.

Bob starts his bike.

DOUG:

So we're not even going to talk about

this? I mean, shouldn't we at least--

DUDLEY:

Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!!

Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into

the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes

against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck

screech to a stop after it passes them.

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