Your Highness Page #7

I really think we should try

and rescue him.

But, how, Courtney?

You are weak, and I am hungry.

You deceitful pricks.

You stole the compass from me.

Who? I didn't. Courtney did.

Please have mercy on us, lady warrior.

Fabious has been captured

by Leezar and his men.

He was captured?

Yes.

We got into a huge swordfight

and we were able to escape

and he was not.

I know how you're feeling inside.

As if you cannot rest

until you destroy

those who harmed your family.

You want to skin them alive

then wear their flesh as a cape

as you dance around

their convulsing corpses.

Yes, of course.

Yes.

That feeling is all too familiar.

It's been burning in my beaver

since the day I lost my brothers.

We've had our differences,

but if we work together,

we can save your brother,

avenge my family,

and destroy Leezar once and for all.

This woman is mad.

I believe we found our labyrinth.

Where?

The compass has led us to a dead end.

Shall we return home?

It appears as though there's something

written here

in the language of the Highland Dwarf.

I can't read it.

Sir, you're well-versed in the

Highland Dwarf language, aren't you?

You read Dwarf, Thadeous?

I have had encounters

with those people, yes.

Really?

Well, then what does it say?

F***er.

It's nonsense.

It says, "What leads you here

will lead you there."

It's rubbish.

Highland Dwarves are a silly culture.

Oftentimes they speak and I have

no idea what they're talking about.

What is she doing?

Perfect fit.

You coming?

What is that foul stench?

What was that noise?

I don't know, Courtney.

But I don't like this.

I fear we're not alone in here.

What is that thing?

I don't know, but run!

Isabel!

Sir?

Help! Your Highness!

Courtney!

Thadeous!

Isabel!

Companions, where are you?

Courtney! Hello?

Thadeous!

Where are you, sire?

This is the Blade of Unicorn?

It's just bones.

You've found it.

Who said that?

'Tis I, the soul of this maze

and protector of the blade.

'Tis my duty to ensure

only a true hero carries the blade

from this tomb.

Okay.

Say, for instance, a man entered here

by accident who wasn't a true hero.

What would happen to him?

Death.

I see. Well,

I am no true hero.

So I would like to just place the sword

back where I found it,

and then I will go my way,

and you won't kill me,

and that will be that, okay?

Go?

Where would you like to go?

Is that...

Your home.

Okay, well, I would surely go there.

That would be fine.

Shall I just slide

the sword back into the thingy,

or place it gently upon the ground?

And if I told you that your brother

will die without the help of this blade,

would you still walk through that door?

Without the blade,

Fabious will be helpless against Leezar.

Shut your magical hole.

Why are you showing me this?

It's what you wanted, is it not?

Your brother gone.

You'll be king of all the land.

Think of the power,

the women, the bush,

the sticky-icky, the honeypots.

Well, it would be nice to be king.

And all you have to do

is forget about the blade.

Leave it where you found it

and never think of this place again.

That's very sweet

but I am not a female Minotaur.

Ow!

His worm is tickling me.

Get off of me!

I'm not enjoying this!

Get off me.

Whew!

Did you just see that?

I came back for you all! I saved you!

What, you were going to leave us?

No, of course not.

Is that the...

Blade of Unicorn?

Yes, my companions, it is.

It's so beautiful.

It's very, very sharp.

Come here, you silly.

What are you doing?

I was just trying to cut this horn

as a souvenir of my kill,

but it's proving to be a bit of a b*tch.

You can never sever the horn

of a Minotaur.

Hmm.

Only a champion man

would hold the Blade of Unicorn

in his hands.

And I, Thadeous, am that man.

I have seen the pain in my reflection

and watched the strength

of my brother, unflinching.

My quest is one of love,

but also in this moment

of forgiveness, of redemption,

even amongst the smallest of foes.

My path has been unstable

but my conviction is born

to damn the f***ers who doubted me.

To lessen the a**holes who tested me.

To right what is wrong.

To restore faith

that has long been lost.

And to rise to great heights

even beyond my own legend

as a great cocksmith, master pintsman,

and stunningly handsome prince

of light in these dark Dark Ages.

True trials await,

and I will greet thee

with the hammer of my fist

and the slide of my sword.

As the fog clears,

I will follow the voice that guides me.

My love, my heart, my gods.

The time is now!

Let us quest!

At long last,

I have you firmly in my grasp.

The pesky Prince Fabious.

The little sneak who time and time again

has foiled every one of my plots.

Who has slain every one of my beasts.

Who has bested me

without fail until now.

Do what you will to me.

But unhand my love.

Let Belladonna go!

Cast your glance heavenward

and know that when the ceiling parts,

and the moons align,

I will be entering your love.

Sacrilege!

You wretched wizard.

My mothers have already

moistened Belladonna for foreplay.

You'll excuse me if I take my leave.

I shall kill you!

Julie, Julie, get me out of here.

Leezar has a hold of your mind.

He has allowed me to get even with you.

For too long you and your family

have treated me like an employee.

Yeah, you were my slave.

Yes, well not anymore.

Boremont, my comrade.

Please, get me out of here.

If Leezar wins tonight, the entire world

will tumble into darkness.

My heart has soured

on this world long ago.

Perhaps a regime change

is just what it's needed.

Boremont, you gave your hand for me.

Now you're taking my heart.

We used to have

f***ing picnics together.

Remember when we crossed swords

and touched tips?

Do you remember?

Look at me, Boremont!

Don't do this.

Anyway, so that you don't feel like

you're missing out on any of the fun,

let me introduce you

to my friend, Timotay.

As Leezar enters Belladonna,

he will lower you onto that spike,

thereby giving you

a good poking as well.

Belladonna, I love you!

All right.

Well, seeing that I did

the bulk of the work in the labyrinth,

perhaps it's one

of your turns to lead the way now.

Step back, new friends.

I'll lead the way.

For tonight, evil has met its match.

Fantastic! Thank you again for coming.

Oh!

God.

Wow, right out of the gate.

We should proceed

with a bit more caution.

Let go of me!

You foul witches! I hate you all.

Stop laughing.

Silence!

Let me go!

I shall be unable to have sex with her

with all that shrieking.

If it's obedience that you want,

we will put her under a spell.

She will surrender.

Obey.

Let it begin.

The winch, Courtney.

Brother! What are you doing here?

We came to rescue you.

You did?

Yes! Are you surprised?

Yes!

Courtney, you're still alive! Isabel!

All right. Great.

We haven't much time! Let's get weapons.

Fabious, there's something else

I should tell you.

What?

I would never let

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