Yours, Mine and Ours Page #3

It'll be okay as soon as we shorten

the slip. Give me those pins.

Oh, heavens. Jean, run downstairs...

...and tell Tommy to whistle

the minute he sees Mr. Beardsley.

- But I wanna watch.

- Please, Jean.

- The minute he sees Mr. Beardsley.

- Will you stand still?

You'll get this pin stuck in you.

I'm put together with pins and glue.

If there's a strong wind,

I'm in trouble.

- There he is. Hurry up. Hurry up.

- He's coming!

- Look at him.

- Wow, look at that car!

- He's in the Navy.

- Look at that jacket.

Look at those stripes.

He's got flowers for Mom.

- Yeah, blue eyes.

- Boy, I bet you that guy's rich.

- All right.

- No!

- Pass it on.

- The door.

Get away from the door.

Get away from that door. Get away.

Get back. Get back.

- Hello there.

- Hello.

Well, we better hurry. I know

how you like to get places on time.

- I do?

- Yeah. Where are we going?

San Francisco. Little place...

I brought you flowers.

Thank you.

Why, they're beautiful.

Shouldn't you put them in the house,

in water?

Of course.

I don't know what I was thinking.

They're my favourite.

Beautiful night, isn't it?

I had a wonderful time at dinner.

I didn't know whether it was the food

or Frank...

...or the fact that I didn't have

to do the dishes.

I couldn't stop talking. I told her

about Frances, the Navy...

...about the new carrier

landing system I was working on.

I told her about everything

but the children.

Funny how that never came up.

I guess I figured it would be easier

over an Irish coffee.

While Frank was getting the drinks...

...I was trying to figure out the most

graceful way to break it to him.

By the way, I have eight children.

Speaking of eight children,

that's what I have.

Have I mentioned

that I have eight children?

I have eight children.

Well, don't look at me. I just got here.

Excuse me, please.

Pardon me.

That's all right.

- That's why I come in this place.

- What's your excuse?

Pardon me, sir.

- I'm sorry, I...

- That's all right.

- That's why I come to this place.

- What?

That's a line I picked up

on my way back from the bar.

I don't know, you may have

to drink this through your ear.

Frank, there's something

I wanna tell you.

What?

That was a wonderful dinner

we had tonight.

- I enjoyed all eight courses.

- So did I.

- Speaking of children...

- We weren't speaking of children.

- Thank goodness.

- Tonight, there are no children...

...in the world.

We're all alone on this desert island.

Just you and me

and a native who makes Irish coffee.

I'll drink to that.

- Helen.

- Yes, Frank?

There's something I've been meaning

to tell you.

- What?

- No, I want you to look at me first.

No, look at me.

- Just a moment.

- May I have a light?

Not on your life, sweetheart.

Ridiculous.

- Something wrong?

- No.

No, no.

What did you want to tell me?

Well, this is the last time

I'm going to bring up the subject...

...but you do like children,

don't you?

- Yeah. Yeah, within reason.

- In that case, the hell with it.

No. No, no,

as long as you brought it up...

...there's something

I've been meaning to tell you.

- What?

- Well...

What?

- What's the matter?

- I beg your pardon.

- Something wrong?

- Yes. Yes, Frank...

...I have this terrible craving

for a cigarette.

I don't know what I'll do if I don't get

a cigarette. I may have a fit.

Could you get me a pack

from the machine?

What brand? King-size or regular?

Filter or non-filter?

- Yeah, wonderful.

- What?

- And hurry.

- Well, here, hold this.

Hello, nurse.

- Darrell.

- Well, Helen.

Hello, Darrell.

Your Irish coffee is winking at me.

- Darrell, help me.

- Does this happen often...

...or only during the moulting season?

- Hurry, please.

Now, don't you worry, honey.

I'm very good at this.

I've got an admiral

with a loose toupee.

Coming through.

Pardon me.

I'm sorry.

Back for seconds?

Darrell, what are you doing here?

Chaperoning?

Oh, no, I've been here since yesterday.

Haven't been able to get out.

You mean you haven't been trying.

- Cigarette?

- No, thanks. I don't smoke.

- What did you do to your eye?

- What did you do to my eye?

Don't listen to him. It's perfect.

Let's drink to the perfect couple.

Two people who have

so much in common.

It's positively nauseating.

To our nurse.

You know, I just found out

that she has a family of...

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- That's all right. I'm used to it.

Over at Frank's, when they pass

the soup, it's like Niagara Falls.

He probably hasn't mentioned it,

but he happens to have a...

- Gosh, I'm sorry.

- Sure is a rough sea tonight.

Yeah, it's very crowded in here.

Yeah, speaking of crowds...

...you know, you two kids

really belong to each other.

I just found out

that she's the mother of...

Squeezing through...

Who pushed me?

- Here, let me help you.

- Hey, if you two wanna be alone...

...give a guy a hint.

- Let's get out of here.

Sorry.

Frank.

What? How could you lose your slip?

Don't ask questions.

It's back there someplace.

Do something

about that floating eyelash.

Oh, you are a tiger, aren't you?

Frank, before we go any further,

there's something I have to tell you.

- Now what fell off?

- No, no, nothing like that.

I wish it were something that trivial.

Frank, I have eight children.

- Eight children!

- Four boys, four girls.

Different ages.

Frank. Frank, we're on a cable car.

- Of course.

- I get sick on cable cars.

- Wait till you hear what I tell you.

- What?

- I have 10 children.

- Ten?

Ten? Ten!

Three boys, five girls.

- That's only eight.

- And two on loan-out.

Frank, eight and 10 is...

Ridiculous.

Helen, let's get off this damn thing.

Now I'm feeling sick.

Frank, what do you mean,

"two on loan-out"?

Well, a man alone...

...I just haven't been able to keep

a family that large together.

My brother and sister- in-law

have the two youngest.

- That's awful.

- That's what my kids keep telling me.

They hate me for it,

and I'm on their side.

I wish you had known Dick.

- What was he like?

- Like you, in many ways.

All wrapped up in the Navy

and his children.

And in you?

Frank, I wanna thank you

for a wonderful evening.

It was nice knowing you.

It was nice knowing you.

- You know what?

- What?

- I'd like to buy you something.

- Oh, that isn't necessary.

Souvenir of our first and last date.

- How about that Buddha?

- Oh, no.

That looks like real jade.

- How about that little fan?

- Fifty-five cents' worth of memories?

That's a pretty little lady.

- You have excellent taste.

- Thank you.

This is a Chinese goddess...

...who confers her magical powers

on all who gaze upon her.

- What is she called?

- Kuan Yin.

- What does that mean?

- Joyous symbol of fertility.

Wave him off.

Bring him around again.

and bring it around again.

Why didn't you tell me

she had eight kids?

Why didn't I tell you?

I got third-degree Irish coffee burns

trying to tell you.

But don't you worry about a thing.

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