Zack and Miri Make a Porno Page #7

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- Thanks.

So, what about me? How do I look?

I mean, you look beautiful.

You always look so beautiful so..

I guess it's not a big deal.

But you look amazing.

Okay. Let's go to make a pointer.

Swallow My Cockacino.

Scene 8, take 1.

Alright, settle. Action.

Who could it be?

-Hi.

- Hi.

I'm the delivery man, and

I have some cream for you.

Wow, that cream looks heavy.

You must be strong.

I work out. So..

Do you want me to give

you your cream now?

I've been waiting for it

all day.

-Oops.

- I spilled my cream.

-Do you mind?

- I don't mind.

Especially if you spill

it on my face.

Let us f***!

Let me see them, titties.

Actually, you know what, sorry

I don't think we should show 'em.

-What?

- We shouldn't show your breasts.

-Are you gonna take your shirt off?

- I ain't take my shirt off. I'm just

gonna open it actually.

You're not gonna take it off?

Why not?

My tits are bigger than yours

for f*** sake. It'd look weird.

I don't wanna show that.

She's not gonna show her tits?

I shoved my cock in my a**hole.

-Where's that delivery?

- I can't believe this.

I was delivering cream and

look what's happening.

Jesus, what is that? A rumba?

-What's a rumba?

- That akword movement.

Should we take your pants off?

- Yeah.

Oh, f***. How does this work?

You know what, I'll do it.

I'll do mine.

I'm gonna f*** you

with my pecker.

Dude, that's really dirty.

-That's too dirty?

- Yeah, it offends me.

-I'm gonna f*** you with my penis.

- I can't wait.

For my penis.

Be careful, Miri. Okay.

Just keep rolling.

F***ing cream is coming.

This is the worst porno

I've ever seen.

-Get over here, delivery man.

- Let's f*** on these beans.

Just leave 'em.

- It's really distracting.

It's all good?

We'll start kissing on three, okay?

-1, 2, 3. Go.

-Deacon

- What?

Did you see Lost this week? I missed it.

What happened?

Oh dude. They're on the island,

they off the island. Who can follow that sh*t.

I think they're in hell.

- Would you shut the f*** up.

-Cut.

- That's it?

It's over?

Ain't it supposed to

come with titties?

Well, it wasn't what we adjusted

but that was nice.

-You were so romantic.

- Way to f***, Zack!

Thanks, Lester. Wasn't just

me though guys. Give it up

For my radiant co-star here, Miri.

Show's over in here. Let's move

it on to a fourth lying scene.

Alright. Let's do it.

-You look beautiful.

- I thought they would be

-F***ing hard.

- But it was pretty.

-Good job.

- Thanks.

-You're good Mir? You need anything?

- I'm just gonna take a minute, okay?

-Okay. I'll just be up there.

- Yeah.

-That was fun.

- Yeah. Fun..

- Hey, are you alright?

- Yeah.

Just for tonight scene,

I'm ready to go when you are though.

You know, before we go..

I'm thinking

It's a good idea if we

Talk about what happened last night.

I mean, we don't have to but..

Okay, yeah. I kind of dropped

the ball in that I guess, huh?

-No, no. It's..

- To be honest..

It was.. I didn't know

how weird it would be for me.

Weird? Weird like how?

Acting and directing at the same

time. It's a lot to process..

First time I thought my balls

didn't have enough hair on them.

-That's not what I meant.

- I know what you meant.

How are you feeling about it?

I guess..

I feel like.. Like we..

-Holy f***!

- The light is on!

-Did you do this?

- No, I burned the bills how come..

- The water.

Come on, come on.

Yeah!

-We can shower in our home again!

- We got liquid.

Greetings! Have you heard

the good news about

Our Lord of savior

Jesus Christ?

Oh my God, did you

guys do this?

We got tired of you guys taking

showers at our places all the time.

So we took up a collection

amongs ourselves.

And shipped away

your a mountain of debt.

You guys paid off our massive

utilities bills?

How did you afford that?

I stole my old lady's bingo winnings.

And mistress Bubbles did a bachelor

party tonight which yours truly

Was a guest star. Thank you

very much.

But don't get too excited, cause

we didn't pay off your whole bill

Just a month of each.

And they agreed to turn

everything back on?

Yeah nine at night?

How does that work?

Stacey knows somebody that works

at power and light.

-You guys..

- This is amazing..

You didn't have to do this.

And you guys didn't have to

put us in your movie either.

-Or let us shoot it.

- Or produce it.

-Or put us in your movie either.

- We said that already.

Guys, honestly..

I don't know what to say.

Well, you could start off by saying

we could take tonight off so we could

Have our rap party right now.

Guys, we're not wrapped though.

We still have four days of shootings left.

Um, excuse me. In my producorial

capacity,

I'm shutting the movie down

for tonight

So we can get lost silly.

Go, go, go, go!

-Yeah!

- Yes!

Is it just amazing after all those

years not knowing?

It was.. weird. But good.

I have my next scene with Zack tomorrow.

- You don't say?

But I'm little nervous.

-I was thinking about trying to

get with him tonight.

- Really?

I mean if you don't mind.

You guys are just friends and all.

So I didn't think it would be a biggie..

It wouldn't be a biggie,

would it?

No, no. It's not a biggie.

Why? No.

-Are you sure?

- Yes, Stacey.

I'm not married to the guy so..

I don't know. You guys just looked

kind of intimate last night.

-We did?

- Yeah.

Well, we're just better

actors than I thought, I think.

You know what? If you want to get

with him, you should just go and ask him.

- He'd be really excited to hear that.

- Yeah?

-Yeah.

- For real? You don't mind?

Cool.

All the quarters are on the ground.

Come on, you guys playing

or what?

Well, I'm bummed. But I totally

get it and it's no problem to

work with Lester again.

-He has a nice cock.

- Oh. Well, you're a trooper Stass.

Oh, but if I start making weird

faces during the scene, it's just cause

I've been constipated all day.

Oh sh*t. We don't have to shoot

this scene tonight.

No I want to.

It feels great when you're

constipated.

It totally loosens yo up.

I use exlax, but good to know.

Okay. Never thought I'd have

that conversation.

So are we starting with Lester

and Stacey tonight,

Cause we were supposed to start

with Lester and Miri.

Oh, yeah. We're not gonna do

that anymore.

I don't think Miri's gonna..

wanna..

Do that.

So where are we shooting this?

Over here?

-What are you doing here?

- Me and Lester.

Our scene is tonight, right?

Can I talk you for a minute

in the back?

Sure.

What do you want me to shoot

here, Zack?

Just start with the close-ups of

Lester and Stacey. Give me a second!

What an artist.

Did I do something wrong to you?

-Then why are you here?

- I'm here for the same reason

you're here.

To make the movie.

Okay, just like for your own

personal information..

You're acting really

f***ing weird right now.

I'm acting weird? Cause I think

you're acting f***ing weird right now.

How exactly am I acting weird?

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