Zombieworld Page #3

Faster, stronger, and smarter.

For their kind, anyway.

From where you stand,

they just look like

your average drunken

beady-eyed bugger.

You better watch your back.

See what I mean?

Take advantage of zombie's

animal like instincts

to surprise them.

Stab them in their head

with a... bicycle seat?

Hm, didn't see that one coming.

Oh, there it is,

our super zombie.

Yeah, still looks a little

wobbly on his feet.

But trust me, he is bad news.

Who would've thought of

a bicycle seat?

Oh, and if someone is bitten,

kill him!

You don't want one more

zombie chasing you later.

In Zombieworld,

you don't have much time

to take a break.

But when you do, remember

to enjoy the little things.

And when you got to go,

you got to go.

But back to our super zombie.

Now he is after you.

Put your thing away man.

Put it away.

Too late. He is too fast.

Too hungry.

Too super.

Thank God, you have a partner

who has got your back.

Who... forgot his weapons.

Oh, he came back.

He throws away his cigarette

and smacks the super zombie.

Bat. Kick!

Bike seat!

Whack. Good one. Spear.

Bike seat throw. Kick!

Nice.

Before you leave,

make sure he is dead.

Fun is a rare commodity

in Zombieworld.

But feel free to have

a victory dance

after killing so many zombies,

and... What?

Our heroes spot something.

It is a hand.

Is it a zombie hand?

No, indeed.

We know those legs.

That's not a zombie.

It is our sexy chick from

"How to Survive a

Zombie Apocalypse, Part One".

Oh my, what is happening here?

No!

Don't panic. Use your head...

and smash theirs.

Homerun!

If your friend is bitten...

...he will try to hide it

from you.

But it's kind of obvious.

Even he knows, you know.

But he is your friend, right?

Your amigo, your compadre,

your buddy.

Just smile.

Tell him it will be all right.

Distract him, and...

Hello, I'm... Marvin Gloatt

KPRS news reporting.

We continue to receive

reports...

...of widespread zombie attacks

throughout the United States

and across the world.

This reporter could certainly

use a cocktail.

We take you now to Canada,

where citizens have been

instructed to remain indoors...

...and to use caution

should they come into contact

with the undead.

F***!

I'm sorry.

- Holy sh*t!

- Where have you been?

Where the f*** have you been?

- You okay, man?

- Yeah, yeah fine.

- Where is Meg?

- F*** no, man, she is...

...she went back to the car.

We got to get f*** out of here.

Go, go, we got to go now. Go!

- Go, go, go, go.

- Come on, man.

Sh*t!

F***!

Oh, God.

Let's go.

Ready? Three, two, one, go!

Get going!

Meg...

Meg, are you okay?

Meg, just stay with me, okay?

Just stay with me.

- All right.

- David?

Oh, f***.

Start the car!

Start the car!

Doesn't matter,

just go, just go!

- Get this thing started!

- It won't start.

- Make it happen!

- It won't f***ing start!

- Go! Go!

- Oh, f***!

- It won't start.

- Just start it, just go!

- It won't f***ing start.

- Start the f***ing car!

- Go, yes!

- Oh, my God.

Go!

Okay.

Let's Just find a place,

somewhere in the woods,

stop, there's no

zombies anywhere.

Meg, just hang on, okay?

Meg, just hold on.

What the f***?

Keep going. Keep going,

don't stop! Keep going!

Go! We can't stop here, man.

We can't stop here!

What the f*** is going on

with the car?

I don't know what's happening!

- The car is f***ing stalling.

- Look! Look! Look!

Go!

F*** man, f***!

Don't worry about her,

she will be fine. Fix it!

Come on, do it!

Oh sh*t, man! She is turning.

She is turning.

She's gone...

she is f***ing gone.

Here, man.

Take the one on your right.

No.

Take that, you dead f***!

Dave! Dave!

Check this out guys.

I think we need to lay low

for a bit.

Yeah, I think it's clear.

All right, this room's clear.

Oh my God.

So...

What's the last thing

you want to do?

Last thing wanna do...

like, ever?

Yeah sure.

Hell, I don't know...

...hit a home run

at an MLB game.

What about you?

Have sex...

...with your mom, one last time.

Yeah, me too.

You're sick.

You're sick

Oh... oh no!

I've got over here.

Come on, you f***ers!

Yeah! You like that?

Take that.

Guys! Guys,

a little help over here?

Sh*t!

- David! David!

- John!

F*** no, John!

- Where did he go?

- Sh*t! Sh*t!

In here, here.

Sh*t, sh*t.

- Dude, there's no way out.

- The window.

The window,

we're going out the window.

- We can't go out there.

- Come on. Follow me, David.

Out the window!

Chuck?

- Oh sh*t.

- Come on, let's go! Come on!

Oh God!

Okay, there's only one way out.

Three, two, one...

Oh no!

- F***!

- Come on, let's go. Let's go.

Just go. Just go!

What did you do?

Oh f***, why?

Sh*t!

Oh no. No. No!

No! No!

Ahh!

Marvin Gloatt here

is broadcasting on KPRS.

Bringing you the latest

on the zombie apocalypse.

Right in the knockers.

Jo, you want to come see this?

These graphics are nuts.

Take that you f***er.

Jo!

F***! Oh yeah!

What the f***?

Oh! Oh no!

No!

Oh! Zombies!

Marvin, are you okay?

Marvin, are you okay?

You look like sh*t!

Marvin?

Marvin, are you okay?

Yeah, Bob.

Keep rolling.

The show must go on.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladie...

Ladie...

Son-of-a-bitchin' zombies!

Just roll the footage, Bob!

Roll it. Show must go on.

UNITED STATES:

WEST VIRGINIA:

BLAM! BLAM!

PUTNAM:

DARK CRYPT OF HORROR

ASHLEY SAPPLETON, CHAPMANVILLE

WEST VIRGINIA 29

- Hello?

- Oh, good day miss.

I have a certified letter for

Mrs. Sappleton.

Postman is here for you, aunty!

Where are your manners,

young lady?

Get the man something to drink

and I'll be right there.

Please, do come in.

Perhaps it's best

if I just stay out here.

Don't be silly.

Our old postman used to

always come in for a soda.

Aren't you thirsty?

Well, it sure is awful hot out.

I'm not that thirsty.

Expecting guests?

Guests?

That would be a blessing.

Every day for the last year,

she's been making me set

these out.

She just can't accept that

they are gone.

So, you are

not expecting guests?

A year ago

on a day...

just like this one...

Her husband and

his younger brother were...

working at the mine.

Just like they did every day.

They were deep underground,

working the lead

on a new tunnel...

when something went wrong.

One of the men,

his hands wet with sweat

dropped his pick axe.

When it landed,

the steel from the blade

hit the tiniest piece of flint,

hidden under a rock.

The spark from the flint

hit a bit of hay...

thrown down to absorb oil

from a broken lantern.

It quickly caught ablaze

and burned...

in a straight line towards

a nearby box of dynamite.

It took weeks to dig them out.

And when their twisted

and lifeless bodies

were finally found,

they were so badly mangled

that my uncle could

only be recognized

by his wedding ring.

Sometimes, when I see the drinks

sitting there, I forget...

I expect to see them walking up,

hear them laugh,

have them tease me about

my duck feet.

Oh, I'm so sorry

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